Searching for an explaination.

[strong like bull]

This is something that's been on my mind for a while:

why is it that when i am single, i long for a deep, committed relationship. yet when i become exclusive with a girl (by her request, of course) i get the urge to be single again. what gives?

my current gf, V., used to be a one-itus of mine. ive even made a few posts about her a couple years ago. i lost the one-itus, dated other girls, grew up a bit, then cought up with her in the current. when i discovered how the situation had flipped - now SHE had oneitus for ME - i was ecstatic. overjoyed!

isnt that the young DJ's dream? to reverse the oneitus spell? to have "the girl of your dreams" infatuated with YOU?

of course, wanting to find out how itd feel to be with her, we started seeing eachother.

two months into it... its not as good as i thought itd be. things are bit stale. we have good times, but i am constantly flirting with other women. i am constantly picturing myself with these women. i would never 'cheat' on a gf, but i cant deny the urges. i cant deny being drawn to these other girls.

V. is a decent girl, too. she respects me, never cancels dates, never gives me the run-around, never lies to me. she puts forth a LOT of effort to keep things moving. shes got strong morals. if i put her through Anti-Dump's "Machine," shed probably make it through. her IL has consistantly stayed a notch or two above mine; she even brought up being exclusive after 3-4 weeks.

but what gives? if shes so great, why am i drawn to others? the LAST girl who asked to be exclusive, same situation. after 2 months it got to feel like a burden to see her. planning dates became an annoying task. then, shortly after i broke off the relationship and was single, i wanted to try another LTR.

i am here looking for advice. with the last girl, i simply broke it off rather than try to figure it out. with V., i want to take a chance and try to do things the right way rather than end it abruptly.

can anyone help me out?

 

[Sexual]

Seems to me like she obviously wasn't the girl of your dreams. If you're looking to stay interested, keep a few girls at the dating stage at all times until you find one that fits all your needs, which probably will take a while. Hey, you really want to be stuck with a girl that's beautiful as hell but a biotch then turns out to be ugly? You want one that's not lazy (stay fit and motivated), acts in the way you want her to, and is a knockout. They're out there, and if not you've got to make them learn that's how they need to be.

 

[strong like bull]

thanks trippsta. i definately may have 'settled' too soon with her. like i said, at 3-4 weeks she asked to be exclusive and i agreed.

anyone else?

 

[squirrels]

Now you see how much of a turn-off a "one-itis" can be.

It's not wrong to want a girl with a life of her own...something beyond you. I don't know if it's fair to her for you to be with her, but constantly picturing someone else in her place. Nor is it fair to YOU to tie yourself down to someone you don't enjoy being with just to avoid hurting her feelings with a break-up.

I'm not saying you should break up with her. I'm just saying that compromise is depressing.