"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Screwed up the approach...

wasted-nick

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I have to admit, it's been years since I cold-approached a woman face-to-face.

Today, I was at an outdoor festival when I saw my brother talking to a girl (maybe 10 years younger than I). She was good-looking and I didn't see a ring. I ask my bro who she is - she's my brother's son's scout-leader...

Hmmm... So I walk over and introduce myself, "Hi, I'm Nick." She says, "Hi, I'm Stacy." So I go to, "My brother says you're a scout-leader..." Her, "I am." Me, "Cool. Am I too old to join your troop?" Her, "No, that's cool... I can get you a form... haha."

Here is where I turned into a pu55y. I got all self-conscious all the sudden and made a couple stupid comments about the demonstration we were both watching as this convo went on. She wasn't really making any effort to chat, and I started to feel like I was kinda creeping her out, so I backed off.

She kinda faded away and I got distracted with kids, and... got nowhere in the end.

In hindsight, I think I should have let her known that I thought she was cute and suggested we go out sometime... no?

But how? Take it from here boys, I need some advice... It did feel good to at least have the ball5 to approach her... It's a start I suppose.

Also, do I dare ask my bro to pass along my phone # as I will probably not see this gal again?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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Pardon me for being so out of touch, but are you telling me that Boy Scouts have female scout leaders?

On to your question. The hint is in your description. You got self-consciouse. This is the death knell of pickup. Do you know what happens then? You become reactive and you start feeding off her energy and her frame. I don't have to have seen it to know that this is what happened.

I would say that you should continue practicing holding a strong frame, having fun and leading the conversation. Demonstrate purpose and intent. Go somewhere with the conversation instead of meandering around. YOU must be the one to end the interaction.

By keeping these things in mind you will be communicating confidence and purpose, two character attributes that women find very attractive. Way to step up into the game!:up:
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Atom Smasher,
Up here in the Good Country we have had Unisex Scouts for twenty years or so,as they still salute the Flag I am grateful for small mercies....Frankly the blatent Homosexuality in a significant number of Scout Masters needed some form of address,these disgusting Predators were around in my day and very little was ever done....Scouts is probably an area where Women Leaders have a positive contribution.The Catholic Church still awaits?
 
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Falcon25

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Do what I do

"Hey girl, how are you! You are ****ing gorgeous! Love your smile. Are you single?"

1) They say "thank you but I'm taken"
2) They say "You're sweet" big old smile and touch their hair, then I say "What's your name?" then I pretend to care about her life, I talk for about ten, fifteen minutes, THEN I ask number. Number means nothing if you haven't established a connection.

Try it! Fuvk it! What have you got to lose! We're all fuvked anyway.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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