I started this relationship with a girl back in April '11. I met her in a bar and we hit it off big time! Although it was just some light flirting, she never crossed a line with regards to her boyfriend, which even sucked me in more.
She was out with some friends and so was I. She was in a long term live-in relationship, she never mentioned it but her friends did. She gave me her contact as she was in town for another two days, we hung out again in a group, the next day things progressed, just flirting she at that point told me she couldn't do anything because of her relationship.
After she left town, I sent her a text, she put a stop to it, and said not to contact her other than in a platonic way. She got tipsy one night and called me said that she couldn't stop thinking about me. Over the next few weeks our relationship developed and became more intense through text and phone convo.
As things progressed, she told me that she was going to break-up with her boyfriend and move out. I didn't believe her, but she did everything she said she was going to do. We then planned a trip for her to come see me. I flew her out, and everything went great, we've been hot and heavy ever since. I just went to visit her and everything was good. Over this time we have talked about her moving to so we could be together. She said she would do it.
We are in a committed relationship, but long distance. I have been bringing up the subject of moving much more than she has. The other day I pretty much say "are you moving or not?....If not what's the point" she responded with yeah maybe you are right
I tried to back pedal and ask "well what do you want" she said she never thought much about it, but I keep bringing it up, and it is torturing us not to see each other... and I can't move anytime soon. She sounded very sad and sounded as if she was crying, then said I don't want to lose you, but you're right.
She sensed my not wanting things to end, and totally gained control, with this one conversation. Things felt a little weird after this convo, but we decided to still have our thing but no titles on anything, such as "committed"
She text me later that day every thing seemed fine, I try to not get on the phone that much as I don't think phone convo for long periods are such a good thing.
*****My Question is this, can I gain control back from this, especially with me not being able to see her much? Mostly phone contact. And the occasional trip...She is coming to visit in a week, although she is coming with her mom, we had planned to spend some time. I'm suspecting even more of a power play from her and she will limit her time with me... I could be totally wrong though.
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I know that my problem right now is oneitis, but I want to fix this as she is a blast to hang with and totally hot!
She was out with some friends and so was I. She was in a long term live-in relationship, she never mentioned it but her friends did. She gave me her contact as she was in town for another two days, we hung out again in a group, the next day things progressed, just flirting she at that point told me she couldn't do anything because of her relationship.
After she left town, I sent her a text, she put a stop to it, and said not to contact her other than in a platonic way. She got tipsy one night and called me said that she couldn't stop thinking about me. Over the next few weeks our relationship developed and became more intense through text and phone convo.
As things progressed, she told me that she was going to break-up with her boyfriend and move out. I didn't believe her, but she did everything she said she was going to do. We then planned a trip for her to come see me. I flew her out, and everything went great, we've been hot and heavy ever since. I just went to visit her and everything was good. Over this time we have talked about her moving to so we could be together. She said she would do it.
We are in a committed relationship, but long distance. I have been bringing up the subject of moving much more than she has. The other day I pretty much say "are you moving or not?....If not what's the point" she responded with yeah maybe you are right
I tried to back pedal and ask "well what do you want" she said she never thought much about it, but I keep bringing it up, and it is torturing us not to see each other... and I can't move anytime soon. She sounded very sad and sounded as if she was crying, then said I don't want to lose you, but you're right.
She sensed my not wanting things to end, and totally gained control, with this one conversation. Things felt a little weird after this convo, but we decided to still have our thing but no titles on anything, such as "committed"
She text me later that day every thing seemed fine, I try to not get on the phone that much as I don't think phone convo for long periods are such a good thing.
*****My Question is this, can I gain control back from this, especially with me not being able to see her much? Mostly phone contact. And the occasional trip...She is coming to visit in a week, although she is coming with her mom, we had planned to spend some time. I'm suspecting even more of a power play from her and she will limit her time with me... I could be totally wrong though.
********************
I know that my problem right now is oneitis, but I want to fix this as she is a blast to hang with and totally hot!