Screwed up being too nice, now what?

[Groverz]

Only about a month in and I can already feel her getting a bit bored. Been a while since I had a girl I cared about so I was a bit too available and helpful. I think she is starting to miss understand the niceness as weakness because that is the only side she has seen of me. Anyway to back pedal a bit and fix this? She still says she misses me and she has been under a bit extra stress lately with **** at home so her texting me back as been a lot slower than normal.

The "Nice" me wants to wine and dine her and take her to fun places, also I want to go fun places but I know that might need to wait a bit.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women always see being too nice and too available as weakness. Because it IS WEAKNESS. When you put too much effort in a woman you are telling her that she has higher value than you, which is a major turn-off to women. Woman are instinctively attracted to men they think have higher value.

The other thing is that women will lose attraction for a man if they don't have to work for him. If they do not invest time, then they do not value you, if they do not value you they can not respect you, if the do not respect you they CAN NOT love you. If a woman is unwilling to put any effort towards you, then you can not and should not waste ANY time on her... because there is NO WAY you are going to be able to move her attraction level up.

This BS about her being 'stressed' is just that, BS... never pay any attention to what a woman says, pay attention to what she does, the fact that she isn't putting effort towards you should tell you that you are dealing with a women with low interest.

What you need to do is back off and start seeing other women. Wait for her to contact you, if she is still interested she will reach out to you, if she doesn't then you best just move on because her interest level is too low for you to build anything with.

 

[Groverz]

Thanks! Going to try to back off and wait for her to text me first. See how long it takes her. I know she has been extra busy the past few days but I also see posts on FB and Snapchat but no reply to a text.

 

[Jetleg]

why are you waiting for her to reply?
if you want her to respect you, just disappear for 2-3 days, not answering her calls or texts. then tell her you had some stuff to do, but now you got time at x at y, if she is intrested as you said, she'll jump for the opportunity.

 

[RangerMIke]

Thanks! Going to try to back off and wait for her to text me first. See how long it takes her. I know she has been extra busy the past few days but I also see posts on FB and Snapchat but no reply to a text.

A lot of guys here this 'no contact' is some kind of technique. It really isn't, it should be you walking away and looking for new options. When you do not reach out to a woman it is you, doing what is best for your self respect and emotional stability. Also, when you walk away you should not be checking her social media, it will not help your frame of mind. Walking away is walking away, you have to get in your mind that you do not care what she does or what she is doing, unless or until she reaches out to you. Step back, and I mean this when I say, you MUST start trying to meet and date other women. It's to ONLY way you have to keep your sanity and stop for being an needy whiney b!tch.

 

[usernamedox11]

you can get away with being too nice if you are better looking than the girl and she knows it, or if you have a high status (ceo, celeb, etc), otherwise play it cool. be nice, but not too nice

 

[RangerMIke]

you can get away with being too nice if you are better looking than the girl and she knows it, or if you have a high status (ceo, celeb, etc), otherwise play it cool. be nice, but not too nice

If she thinks you are better than she is, yes, being nice will not hurt you.

 

[Poon King]

Spin more plates.

The minute you care MORE about the relationships than the girl is the minute you have lost the game. It is also the minute you expose yourself as weak, beta and desperate.

Trying to "win over" people that don't like you or respect you is the ULTIMATE form of the faggot beta identity.

 

[Infern0]

Thanks! Going to try to back off and wait for her to text me first. See how long it takes her. I know she has been extra busy the past few days but I also see posts on FB and Snapchat but no reply to a text.

And you should pay attention to that. If she has time to be positing that BS she has enough time to text you, she's choosing not to because her IL is LOW right now.

Best is to back waaaaaay off and go about your business

 

[Infern0]

you can get away with being too nice if you are better looking than the girl and she knows it, or if you have a high status (ceo, celeb, etc), otherwise play it cool. be nice, but not too nice

being nice if you are better looking than the girl = being nice
being nice if you are worse looking than the girl = being creepy

FACT

 

[GS750]

Good replies so far. I'll add...Girls don't like "nice guys". Girls like kind guys. There is a difference. Go on about your business and don't overanalyze. If she reaches out, you reply at your convenience. Sounds like she has low IL at the moment. So yours should be lower.

 

[RangerMIke]

Yea I really don't like using the term "nice" to describe what women do not like.

Women like men that treat them with respect are friendly, funny, polite, and who are pleasant to be around. This is generally considered nice, acting like this does not hurt you.

What women hate are men that are too compliant, too cooperative, too accommodating, men that are willing to surrender themselves to whatever women is in their life. Women want men that are in control, and can lead the relationship. Not someone that only cares about pleasing the woman. They don't want men that won't stand up for themselves, because if you won't do that for yourself, she can not trust you to stand up for her. In addition, it is the ultimate form of manipulation and dishonesty, because if you as a man are being a needy little worthless b!tch of a butler... then you are not being true to your male nature.

 

[Groverz]

being nice if you are better looking than the girl = being nice
being nice if you are worse looking than the girl = being creepy

FACT

Yea I really don't like using the term "nice" to describe what women do not like.

Women like men that treat them with respect are friendly, funny, polite, and who are pleasant to be around. This is generally considered nice, acting like this does not hurt you.

What women hate are men that are too compliant, too cooperative, too accommodating, men that are willing to surrender themselves to whatever women is in their life. Women want men that are in control, and can lead the relationship. Not someone that only cares about pleasing the woman. They don't want men that won't stand up for themselves, because if you won't do that for yourself, she can not trust you to stand up for her. In addition, it is the ultimate form of manipulation and dishonesty, because if you as a man are being a needy little worthless b!tch of a butler... then you are not being true to your male nature.

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one, I am a bit older than her and have my **** together and a good career. She is still figuring out what she wants to do in life. Also her past BFs were abusive. When I took her out to a nice restaurant and paid she said it was really the first date she has ever been on like that, she normally has to pay or whatever. I am a guy that does not need any fixing, which sounds like it is something she has never delt with before.