Screwed up and contacted her while drunk

[Viper423]

Ok, some of you have read my posts in the past but for those of you who haven't...My girlfriend broke up with me unexpedely about a month ago because she suddenly decided that she didn't want to be serious anymore and didn't want to be with anyone. After talking to her after she broke up with me, she told me that she still wanted to date me but just not be tied down. Well, I nexted her after that, and i've had no contact at all with her in the past month.
Well, her birthday was last week and i found out that she was mad that I didn't call her on her birthday, even though she's the one who broke up with me and hasn't contacted me at all either in the past month. Well, i've tried to move on and went to Best Buy last night and bought a dvd and an ok looking girl, prolly a 6-7 checked me out at the register, and when she handed me my bag, i said, how bout your number before i leave? And she just laughed and said, no i don't think so. This really shot my confidence down. My first approach to another girl since my gf broke up with me, which is prolly why i did what i did next.
Well, i got drunk last night and when I got home I wrote my ex an e-mail telling her that I couldn't believe she was mad I didn't call her and that she hasn't bothered to contact me either, and that told me i didn't mean **** to her.
Well, she wrote me back this morning saying that she's tired of fighting with me and that it goes both ways i call her=she calls me. And then she said that I could be a "man" about this and just call her or lose all contact with her, i choose. Well, I fvcking called her this afternoon and was like, obviously I don't mean anything to you because you haven't contacted me in the past month, and sarcastically she said," yeah thats right, i don't care about you because i haven't contacted you. And she tells me it was a jackass move not to call her on her birthday.
Then I say, im tired of drawing this out, do you want to be with me or not? And she says yes, I want to be friends, and date, but I don't want to be serious with anyone right now. She tells me again, that it works both ways i call her=she calls me. I'm like, so you just want to be friends, and she says yes, and date. Then i say, bye, have a good life and hang up on her. Even though I screwed up by contacting her when I was drunk, did I do ok with the phone convo today? I really want to next her so badly, but she leaves me out in the middle telling me she wants me in her life still and wants to date me still. What should I do now? I don't think she will call me anymore, but just in case she does, what should i do?

 

[Kaine]

I really want to next her so badly, but she leaves me out in the middle telling me she wants me in her life still and wants to date me still. What should I do now? I don't think she will call me anymore, but just in case she does, what should i do?

Sweet mother mary. #backhand#

When you next her, you next her. What she does is no longer your concern anymore. She can dance naked with the a$$ goblins while her hair is on fire in front of your house and you will ignore her (unless of course she sets your lawn on fire).

You've shown her how much more of a pu$$y you are.

Take what's left of your pride and stop embarassing your gender

Ignore her (or alternatively, read Doc love's latest column for another suggestion)


Kaine

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

"I want to be friends and date"

Translation: "I want you as a backup plan and emotional support when I need it."

You brought this upon yourself. You should have COMPLETELY forgotten about her right after she first said that. Then you wouldn't even have remembered her by the time her birthday came about. You'd just get an angry call from her on her birthday while you were banging another girl.

 

[Andromax]

Yeah he pretty much summed it up, bro.


Her interest level has reached the sinking point. Dont ever contact her again. She is just messing with you by "being mad"

She wants to keep you as a play thing.

For gods sakes realize this and move on.

 

[cave dweller]

it is over........

Viper,

She is just playing games with you.
When it is over, it is over...........Hey pal, it is damn over. (you can't get back)

Go look in the mirror and say.....

"She can have any son-of-a-b*tch she wants, but, she can't have Viper423."

Fvck her..............she is now an EX.

cave dweller

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Kaine
She can dance naked with the a$$ goblins while her hair is on fire in front of your house and you will ignore her (unless of course she sets your lawn on fire).

Hah, I wouldn't ignore that; I'd call the neighbors and set up a concession stand ... That stuff is golden ...

 

[rgeere]

Ohh, sorry ... I got a little distracted ...

Yeah, next her ...

 

[Viper423]

But I've never dated a girl like this, everything lined up so perfectly with us. If you read in my post, I tried getting another girl's number, and i got rejected badly. I'm a good looking guy, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to ever find another girl like this one. She's all that I ever wanted

 

[Skweints]

Okay, here's what happened. You lost control, buddy, and you were desperate to get it back. The problem is, she HAD control, and didn't want to give it up. That's why there was all those arguments and fighting. Now, I know exactly how you feel. You don't feel like you can NEXT her because you're not in control. Well, guess what, you're absolutely right. You cannot NEXT her. She already NEXTed you. But don't worry, girls only temporarily next. Why? Girls are powered by emotion, and we ALL know emotions change all the time.

So what do you do? You suck it up, and walk away. You can't come out on top in this situation, not unless you want to sacrifice your manhood and say "Alright, cool, we can just be friends." Now, I know a lot of MANLY men on this site will disagree with me on this, and may even accuse me of giving you AFC advice, but I believe you should work things out. Call her up, apologize, say you were an ******* and drunk, and had you not been, you wouldn't have said the **** you did. Then back off... When you give her the power, she will be on a power/ego high... but when you back off and not make contact for a few weeks, eventually, it's going to wear off. Then, if you want to continue things from there, you can go right ahead, eventually gaining control back. It's a slow process, and I only recommend if this girl meant a LOT to you. Personally, I don't believe in burning bridges, so that's why I usually work things out that way. Besides, so long as you can maintain your DJism with other women, there's nothing wrong with sarcrificing it for a single woman... and then you can always charm her friends. You'd be surprised how showing a little emotion every once in a while helps a LOT... where the opposite is taught in DJism (not showing any emotion. I mean, you ever hear about girls going on and on about that one guy who shed a tear at the end of that happy movie, and acted like a big tough guy afterwards? This kind of **** drives girls CRAZY.)

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by Viper423
But I've never dated a girl like this, everything lined up so perfectly with us. If you read in my post, I tried getting another girl's number, and i got rejected badly. I'm a good looking guy, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to ever find another girl like this one. She's all that I ever wanted

Uhhh,

Why in the world are you even bothering to hang onto this girl? You know what a DJ does when he loses a girl? He finds another one ... Yup, it's that simple ... And you know what, ALL DJs get rejected at some point and at some time atleast once, so I would just consider that your once or twice or whatever and just move on and forget about her ...

And at the risk of sounding ballsy, you probably should knock off this "she was everything I wanted" crap because it is telling everyone on the board that you are not controlling yourself and are generally acting like a wussy. I know that sounds harsh, but there is your dose of reality ....

 

[stalluproar]

Originally posted by Viper423
But I've never dated a girl like this, everything lined up so perfectly with us. If you read in my post, I tried getting another girl's number, and i got rejected badly. I'm a good looking guy, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to ever find another girl like this one. She's all that I ever wanted

Just because one girl rejected you doesn't mean all girls will reject you. I can relate to your exact thinking. I've had similar thoughts to that in the past. A good think to get your mind off that is keep busy. Play on a softball team, go to the gym, hang out with your buddies, do something that can make you laugh, find a new activity, etc. Then don't go out in the world that you need a girl. Be confident in yourself. If you haven't read DYD or Swinggcat, read their material.

 

[pff]

Dude, are you crazy? Move on, why are you still calling her? Why give her the attention she wants? FORGET HER. Next time you think of her, remember this quote:
"Look, ex-girlfirends are like reading a book...even if you read it again, and enjoy it a second time...it still has the same ending."

 

[a4k822]

you could start by not being such a fagg0t. take some percocets and shut the F up

 

[Andromax]

"She is all that I ever wanted."


How bout some balls?


Dude, I guaruntee you could think of atleast 10 things that you want more in life than any particular chick, sit down and think about crap that would sound a lot better to have then a chick that doesnt want you.

I've been in that situation and it wasnt pretty, it never is. But you grow, you learn, and you move on.

We will be supportive of you here, but you gotta hold it together.

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by Viper423
Then I say, im tired of drawing this out, do you want to be with me or not? And she says yes, I want to be friends, and date, but I don't want to be serious with anyone right now. She tells me again, that it works both ways i call her=she calls me. I'm like, so you just want to be friends, and she says yes, and date ... Even though I screwed up by contacting her when I was drunk, did I do ok with the phone convo today? I really want to next her so badly, but she leaves me out in the middle telling me she wants me in her life still and wants to date me still. What should I do now? I don't think she will call me anymore, but just in case she does, what should i do?

Viper, take your head off, turn it around, put it back on... now you will be looking at things the right way.

Okay, you made two mistakes here... one small one and one really HUGE one which you are still making.

The small one is that you called her while you were drunk. Never, ever, ever do this! Alcohol dulls the inhibitions, you start talking emotionally... that's right, you start talking like a girl!

The HUGE mistake is this: She says that she just wants to hang out and date you. The mistake you are making is that you for some reason have decided that this has to be on HER terms. When you hear a woman tell you this, you should be doing bloody huge cartwheels for joy. You have just be handed a regular bit of fluff without any strings attached! Let me ask you a few questions and hopefully you will see what I mean...

Who said you have to meet up when she wants to?
Who said you have to pay for the dates?
Who said you have to be available and at her beck and call?
Who said you have any obligations to her?
Who said you are exclusive and can't date other women?

She broke it off, do NOT let her call the shots!

If you are just dating, you should not, will not call her up to get into deep and meaningful discussions about what your responsibilities to each other are. When you are dating someone, you only hang out with them because it is fun. Tell her this, tell her that because you two aren't a couple, there is no obligation, so if it isn't fun, then you are leaving. Do not be afraid to walk out halfway through a 'date' if she is giving you the shyts!

 

[Royal Elite]

Viper as smart as you seem I know you understand that no getting a number is not a rejection. She may not have gave you her number because she is engaged to be married tomorrow. She may have been so intimadated by your good looks that she didnt feel worthy and thought you was joking. She may not have wanted you to judge her cause her phone is cut off, or she cant even afford one. Next time being the type of person you are you will make your intent clear and see I find you attractive and I would love to get to know you better. Then ask for a phone number. Women cant read your mind, so asking for her number to her can mean a billion things. Secondly you was living without your ex the week, the day, and the hour before you met her. So you are chooseing this universe in which you cant live without her. You are going to move on from this girl knowing that if she is not with you then she had bad taste in men, or is just to nervous and self conscious being with someone as charming, and attractive as you. Especially now that you finally got why she move on it was simply to move down.