Screwed up....again! Need advice

[foreverace90]

Stats

Me: 27, in shape, decent job, fairly active
Her: 30, nice body, works for me, kids (I know)

I met her over a year and a half ago. Thinks skyrocketed between us instantly, but I had to move away for a job after four months of dating. After telling her the downsides of long distance relationship, she decided to stick it out and still be with me. I have never dated a woman with kids, but her body, energy, libedo, and personality totally outweighed the negatives.

Here is where I farked up. After a year of dating and taking flights to see each other every month (we alternated), she caught me on a dating website. Then, a couple of months later she caught me texting girls on my phone. Even worse, she caught me AGAIN talking to girls on dating websites. Every single time, I explained to her I had never met or slept with any of the girls, and she decided to stay with me, forgiving me and looking the other way.

She then decided to work for my company and is now actively involved. But after all of the things I did, her behavior started to change gradually. She absolutely REFUSED to trust me. Her libedo went straight down the farking hill. Once a soft-spoken girl, now she is argumentative and aggressive. She has become irritable and always finds a reason to argue. So after flying to visit her last week, I noticed a PEAK in her behavior. I decided to spend more time outside to give her some space. It didnt work. She started raising her voice at me, being extremely argumentative, and when it was time to go to bed, she would bring up things from the past and find a reason to decline farking.

I couldnt put up with her **** anymore. So I got up out of the bed and told her I was dumping her and that she was also fired. She took our picture frame made up of glass next to her bed and threw it right at me and told me to GET OUT of her house. I didnt argue, calmly picked up my stuff, and just walked out, stayed at a hotel, and caught a flight the next morning.

I am a HUGE advocate of the no contact theory and dumping her for good. There are plenty of girls and I was ready to start spinning more plates. However, the next day, I realized I needed her for my company, she was replaceable, but her presence was essential for the business to run smoothly. So I called her up and told her that I needed her to work for and here is what she said.

Her: I will work for you, but I wont work extra hours like I used to for free
Me: I know where we stand business point, are we still exclusive?
Her: I am not your girlfriend but I have no plans to see anyone at all. Are you
still exclusive? Do you need to know so you don't do anything?
Me: Yes
Her: I am not going to sleep with anyone
Me: Ok, I wont either
Her: It's going to take A LOT of work so be prepared for that and you better
do exactly what you are say your going to.

We then talked on the phone and she explained that she is going to work on herself and join some social groups like Speed Friending and Yoga and she kept reminding me "I am not your girlfriend" and not to talk to her like she was.

I have dealt with many girls in the past. I would dump them and move on or just freeze them out and let them come to me. At this point, I have no idea what to do, should I freeze her out? I cant, she works for me. Should I stay professional with her and totally block the relationship side? Should I attempt to get her back (which is super lame). Any advice would really be appreciated.

 

[jurry]

Dumped her and fired her in the same exchange!? Now THAT is a power move if I've ever heard one. Doesn't seem like you need to do much here you can just be cool and professional and move on to other girls if you want.. I'm a relative chump here though so would be interested to know what others say.

 

[narcissist]

Fire her. Bite the bullet. You fvcked up and you gotta fix it. Having her work for you is a horrible idea. Mark my word

She is not a genius who is making you billions of dollars. She is not warren buffet. You can replace her at your work. There are many people out their that can do the same thing she does at your company. Hell, there are even people that can do a better job then her.

You should not have someone working for you that you have an emotional attachment to. Work and emotions don't match. You have to clean up your mess. There might be repercussions to firing her but youll have to deal with it. Trust me it will be worth it to not have a bish at your work that will emotionally affect your rationality. This girl wiped a fvcking picture frame at you. You seriously want her working at your PROFESSIONAL COMPANY?

Real reason why you contacted her:

I think you contacted her the day after to get her to work for you again but you only did it because you felt that you fvcked up and made a mistake by dumping her because you are too emotionally invested in her and didnt want to break things up. I have a feeling that your text "related to work" was not work related at all, just an excuse to see if she was your girl still, which she obviously let you know that she isnt. That is why you threw in the "are we still exclusive?" part. And now your in a crappy position because she doesnt want to be your girlfriend any more and your hamster is spinning. Thus the reason why you are on here looking for advice. Right? Its okay man, weve all been there.

But I'm only speculating.

Solution:

Drop her. No contact. Fire her. Replace her at work. Deal with the consequences. Learn from your mistakes (dont date at work).

Youre a man. You fvcked up. And now as a man you must fix what you broke.

But you are only asking for your situation to be more fvcked up by keeping her in your life. Especially at work.

 

[foreverace90]

Thanks for the reply narcissist. My personal instinct is telling me to do exactly what you recommended but the thought of firing a mother with two kids just seems wrong to me. Honestly, I care less about whether or not if she dates me, but being a TOTAL **** is sometimes hard to do.

 

[SAYNO]

Thanks for the reply narcissist. My personal instinct is telling me to do exactly what you recommended but the thought of firing a mother with two kids just seems wrong to me. Honestly, I care less about whether or not if she dates me, but being a TOTAL **** is sometimes hard to do.

Hmm, is she is as pretty as you say she is she will find a job in no time flat! I still cant understand why guys mix bussiness with pleasure. :cuss: its something i never could do man, probably because every case ive seen with very few instances turned out badly!

 

[skinnyguy]

Thanks for the reply narcissist. My personal instinct is telling me to do exactly what you recommended but the thought of firing a mother with two kids just seems wrong to me. Honestly, I care less about whether or not if she dates me, but being a TOTAL **** is sometimes hard to do.

What's wrong is that she was effing you and acting like trash instead of being with her kids.