"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Fireballs

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I like the idea of using examples to set standards. Nothing forced but if the conversation is close to that subject then bring up an example.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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mrgoodstuff

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That sounds just silly. You know if this woman has a decent character and is attracted enough to you, you can just be straight up with her.

Sometimes I think younger women can be kind of ignorant to the reality of gender dynamics between male and female friends. She simply might be running on her feelings and her male "friend" gives her attention/ emotionally supportive/ is kind so of course she'll enjoy interacting and spending time with him.
But dude could be validating her opinion which may be one sided and very selfish. Going against you, the household. So some of the women will soak up that type of attention, and it will close you out because he's saying what she wants to hear.

However she could just be a shallow, insecure, low life who thinks emotional cruelty is acceptable as long as she fulfills her needs. This wouldn't surprise me in our post modern society which is infested with feminists who are seeking and teaching revenge and hate because of some perceived oppression.
Game players are going for blood and damage...

If she's the latter you shouldn't waste your time trying to communicate anything.
Makes sense.

Look if you're not an insecure afc you wouldn't worry to much about coming off as insecure and have no problem communicating in an at least semi-direct manner.

In any case when you start to worry a lot, and overanalyze a lot, something Is wrong.
Overanalysis makes you waste all your time and energy on the bs.
 

ubercat

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'Insecure afc' I don't want to be 1 of those so I guess I'll have to set my boundaries directly from here on in.

C'mon cheap debating tricks shouldn't substitute for real discourse.

One of the DJ principles is be a challenge don't let her what you are thinking all the time.

That's the point I'm trying to discuss. And ideally if this principle still holds true with Asian girls. Any takers?
 

ubercat

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Went indirect with my current g/f candidate. Did the starlet/orbiters/divorce line and then cheerfully stole @Bible_Belt s story about the guy who bicycles from India to Europe for love.

Created a teachable moment and provided emotional fluctuation. Thanks SS

After that I literally had to remove her from my bed and she s started colonizing my bathroom. So indirect can work.

Can't think of anyone who set firmer boundaries than @logicallefty and @guru1000 Care to provide the tie breaker gents?
 
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