"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Scoop on my relationship

WORKEROUTER

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I'm running into some relationship problems with my gf.

Little info. She's 21, I'm 19. Been dating for about 5 months. Since that time, I have grown exceedingly attached to her.

It didn't start out this way. In the beginning, things were going good. I was only meeting with her a couple times per week, not calling her that much, etc. But as things progressed, this began to change. Calling her daily became routine, along with seeing her multiple times per week. It's as if I can't get enough of her.

The issue is that I feel that I'm more into her than she is into me. This is a precarious situation because it means that she has the power in this relationship. Reflecting on this, I've come to an ironic conclusion that this is causing me to actually desire her more. I see her because, yes, I do like her a lot, but could part of it be also because I want to try and get her to have a higher IL in me?

Noticing this oneitis, I've tried to reconcile the situation by dating other girls. But at the end of the day, I figured out that I enjoyed the company of her the most, despite being able to date and even f*ck other women.

So the problem is as follows. I'm worried that our relationship is in a decline. I also feel that this decline has at least partially been initiated by my own doings.

With the details I've given, what do you guys think the best thing for me to do here?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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You never told us what your relation problems were...

Never get too attached to any woman unless of course she is your wife and has your children.

She has the power in the relationship only IF you give it to her!
 

skinnydart

Master Don Juan
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You never told us what your relation problems were...
um...
So the problem is as follows. I feel that I'm more into her than she is into me. This is a precarious situation because it means that she has the power in this relationship... I'm worried that our relationship is in a decline. I also feel that this decline has at least partially been initiated by my own doings. With the details I've given, what do you guys think the best thing for me to do here?
 

Macgyver

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Bud, you got some f*cking idiots responding to your post.

You say you feel that the relationship is on a decline, it probably is. Her interest level may be taking a dive since you're acting AFC. Trying to pretend to not be an AFC or even pretending to be a DJ won't even work too. If it's on a decline, it's time to man up and dump her. Settle up your losses, you're 19 years old. You got plenty of time to make mistakes.

I don't exactly know the interest level of your girlfriend is to you but if it's hovering around 60%, I would dump cause eventually she will.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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WORKEROUTER

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Macgyver said:
Bud, you got some f*cking idiots responding to your post.

You say you feel that the relationship is on a decline, it probably is. Her interest level may be taking a dive since you're acting AFC. Trying to pretend to not be an AFC or even pretending to be a DJ won't even work too. If it's on a decline, it's time to man up and dump her. Settle up your losses, you're 19 years old. You got plenty of time to make mistakes.

I don't exactly know the interest level of your girlfriend is to you but if it's hovering around 60%, I would dump cause eventually she will.
Well I've gone as far as to mention that I'm feeling like our relationship seems like it is going downhill to her.

The problem is that I can't seem to get the balls to actually dump her. I've said to myself I would but never actually went thru.
 

WORKEROUTER

Master Don Juan
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Macgyver said:
Trying to pretend to not be an AFC or even pretending to be a DJ won't even work too. QUOTE]

So you're saying that even stop acting AFC, or acting more like I was a couple months ago, wouldn't help to revive the relationship and ultimately increase her IL?
 
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