"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Scenario

Demodulate

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I had a date setup with a girl I have known for about 8 months. we would see each other about once a week in a formal setting.

Background:

We started chatting online more and more frequently over the course of the past 4 months, I had a sense she liked me, but was dating someone else at the time. so I just chatted with her and kept it friendly. we went out a few weekends ago as a group of people, and she made it apparent she had come to see me that night. well I asked her out this past monday.

Was going to do the dinner thing, as I have known her for awhile and I guess I just fall back on that when I cant think of anything else to do.

well she messages me last night while I am asleep wanting to skip dinner and just hang out at my place. she says she is shy and nervous around me, and going out for dinner will make it worse..


This morning I txt her back and she just wants to do a movie at my place..

is this a super good sign?

the cute girls at work all think so.. the more serious "aka not as cute" girls think its weird..

what say you guys?
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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romangod

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Demodulate said:
This morning I txt her back and she just wants to do a movie at my place..

is this a super good sign?

the cute girls at work all think so.. the more serious "aka not as cute" girls think its weird..

what say you guys?

It's a good sign. :up:

A girl offering to come to your place is always a good sign. What you do when she gets there is up to you.


Cheers!
 

Demodulate

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I thought it was..

I am actually nervous to have her come over.. I know her pretty well from online chit chat, and have seen her once a week for awhile now..

but I still don't really "know" her yet..

and my bedroom is a mess.. lol..
 

jophil28

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Demodulate said:
I thought it was..

I am actually nervous to have her come over.. I know her pretty well from online chit chat, and have seen her once a week for awhile now..

but I still don't really "know" her yet..

and my bedroom is a mess.. lol..
Clean it up or I'm going to call your mother.
 

DangNammit

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Sounds like she wants your weenie to me... If it goes that route first date, she isn't someone I'd want a r/s with, but fine for fb...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Demodulate,
You are in like Flynn,well done,keep us posted.
 

Kailex

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Demodulate said:
I thought it was..

I am actually nervous to have her come over.. I know her pretty well from online chit chat, and have seen her once a week for awhile now..

but I still don't really "know" her yet..

and my bedroom is a mess.. lol..
I began to respond to you like you were 21 and then realized you were 34.
Come on man.

If she's coming over, she's going to want a tour of your place.
Your bathroom better be spotless, as your kitchen.
And that room, COME ON.

Believe me, she's going to be observing how clean your place is.

Oh and btw, here's the biggest testament of actions not matching words:

well she messages me last night while I am asleep wanting to skip dinner and just hang out at my place. she says she is shy and nervous around me, and going out for dinner will make it worse..
So... she is shy... so instead of dinner, she wants to come to YOUR place.
Do NOT believe for a single second that she is shy. She is NOT shy. Nervous, probably, but NOT shy.

Remember this as you are trying to make a move.

And pick up your god damn room or no dessert for you.
 

Demodulate

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Mad dash after work, chill wine, shower, clean house..

Night went well..

:up: :up:


very happy with the outcome..
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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