Scared to go further....

[andreus]

I have always been confident around women. I don't care what they think and I act like I want to, so long as it is merely a social situation. As such, I've never had a problem getting a girl to like me in the first place.

However, when I start actually going out with someone, I get scared of physical intimacy. Like my girlfriend right now.....I just kept not doing anything physical until one day she just grabbed my hand when we were in the movies and put my arm around her. Is this bad if she initiates that? Now I'm comfortable holding hands and stuff....but, we were chilling at my house today, I lay down, and she comes and lays down with my arm around her...like, very close.

So, how can I get the confidence to actually initiate this stuff? I haven't even kissed her yet, because I am nervous to. The thing is, I'm not nervous of what she would think or anything, I'm just......nervous.

Thanks for any help!

P.S--If she did that stuff, do you think she'd like me to kiss her?

 

[GaryUranga]

shes your girlfriend but you havent kissed her?

 

[Man Man]

P.S--If she did that stuff, do you think she'd like me to kiss her?

Yes, obviously.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

C'mon dog. You shouldn't feel nervous to kiss her or go further with her. She's your girlfriend, thats what boyfriends and girlfriends do. Just look at her; put your arms around her, slowly move towards her face and start kissing her. What is there to be nervous about? If you think you're a bad kisser or something will go wrong you might feel nervous but you just go with the flow. Maybe its just your adrenalen pumping and you getting all horny when you think about making a move. If you let her make all the moves she will end up thinking your a p@ssy and might find another man who is confrontable with his sexuality. So my point is.. just go for the kiss!! You will feel better and more confident. Face your fears or live in regret of not making a move.

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

There's nothing wrong with you. Some people are openly comfortable with physical intimacy and others need a lot of trust and patience before they're comfortable touching others (I'm the latter). Tell her right now that you like her a lot, but you're not comfortable with the physical intimacy, and that any "slowness" on your part isn't because you don't like her. It's important that you make that clear to her, otherwise she'll think she's doing something wrong or think you don't like her.

There are more people like you than you think, especially if it's your first relationship. There is a certain vulnerability that comes with intimacy that some people have a hard time showing.

And no, there's nothing wrong with the girl initiating. At least that way you know she likes you

 

[andreus]

I think I just feel like this because I've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl before. I mean, whenever I've gotten to where I had a girl totally into me, I usually mess it up.

I guess I just have to man up about this sort of thing and kiss her. I really want to, but I just start over-thinking things when I'm with her (I really don't like moving fast, as weird as that sounds).

P.S- We've gone out on a few dates before, but she's only been my "girlfriend" for a couple of days, so it's not like I'm hesitating way too long...

I realize this makes me sound like a total p-ssy, hehe.

 

[ConantheLibertarian]

Just look for the right moment and do it, that's really all there is to it. It's natural to be nervous, you're nervous about the act of kissing/embracing her, what the outcome will be, among other things. You have to drop that mindset that you're a screw up or anything like that. You need to take on the mindset that you are top tier solid gold, and she lusts for your hot bod (which she probably does), and you lust for hers. Just keep in mind she wants you to kiss and fondle her, and you want to do it.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I think I just feel like this because I've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl before. I mean, whenever I've gotten to where I had a girl totally into me, I usually mess it up.

I guess I just have to man up about this sort of thing and kiss her. I really want to, but I just start over-thinking things when I'm with her (I really don't like moving fast, as weird as that sounds).

P.S- We've gone out on a few dates before, but she's only been my "girlfriend" for a couple of days, so it's not like I'm hesitating way too long...

I realize this makes me sound like a total p-ssy, hehe.

Ah.. when you said girlfriend I was thinking a girlfriend of a couple weeks or more. But, you only been together for a couple days. It's alright to feel nervous since its your first time. But, the more you think about something and over complicate it; the harder its gonna be and the more fear you put in your head. So, just take it easy, relax, don't think, just do. You WILL feel better after you do it and your probably not gonna wanna stop kissing.:rockon: