Scared a girl by talking too much about our future. What do I do now?

[Fela Kuti]

Hi guys,

I've been seeing this girl for about two months. We're not official yet but we already treat each other like bf/gf.

Now here's the thing that's been bothering me. These past few days I feel that she acts differently. I initiate contact more than she does, she often replies my texts without asking something back, she rarely asks questions about me, sometimes takes long to reply texts, etc. So I decided to go NC until she contacts me first. Finally she contacted me, just the usual hi. After this I decided to ask her what's going on, is there something wrong? After some hesitation she answered that she's just pondering about our relationship. That I constantly talk about marriage and our future together but she feels she needs to get her life together first. So I said, forget those things I say about marriage, let's just take it slow. I know, I'm too desperate for a marriage. I thought that with her high interest, it would be okay to talk to her about that. Moreover, she agreed when I first talked to her that I want this relationship to be serious and aim for marriage. But I don't know, did she change her mind or something...

A day passed after I said that and she's still distant. So for now I decided to not initiate contact until she's her normal self. You know, just to "erase" my previous neediness. Am I doing this right? Did I blow my chance with her or is there still a chance? Thank you.

 

[AlexDP]

Hi guys,

I've been seeing this girl for about two months. We're not official yet but we already treat each other like bf/gf.

Now here's the thing that's been bothering me. These past few days I feel that she acts differently. I initiate contact more than she does, she often replies my texts without asking something back, she rarely asks questions about me, sometimes takes long to reply texts, etc. So I decided to go NC until she contacts me first. Finally she contacted me, just the usual hi. After this I decided to ask her what's going on, is there something wrong? After some hesitation she answered that she's just pondering about our relationship. That I constantly talk about marriage and our future together but she feels she needs to get her life together first. So I said, forget those things I say about marriage, let's just take it slow. I know, I'm too desperate for a marriage. I thought that with her high interest, it would be okay to talk to her about that. Moreover, she agreed when I first talked to her that I want this relationship to be serious and aim for marriage. But I don't know, did she change her mind or something...

A day passed after I said that and she's still distant. So for now I decided to not initiate contact until she's her normal self. You know, just to "erase" my previous neediness. Am I doing this right? Did I blow my chance with her or is there still a chance? Thank you.

She's gone. Two months and you mention marriage? What is wrong with you, man?

 

[Fela Kuti]

She's gone. Two months and you mention marriage? What is wrong with you, man?

don't know man, seeing my age and all, I think it'd be nice to settle down.

 

[European-DJ]

... NEVER NEVER EVEN CONSIDER MARRIAGE WITHNIN THE FIRST 6 MONTHS OF A RELATIONSHIP...

2 months? you do not even know her .. Unless you have known her all your life ofc.

 

[Iceberg]

Hi guys,

I've been seeing this girl for about two months. We're not official yet but we already treat each other like bf/gf.

After some hesitation she answered that she's just pondering about our relationship. That I constantly talk about marriage and our future together but she feels she needs to get her life together first.

Dude...WHAT THE F**K

A day passed after I said that and she's still distant. So for now I decided to not initiate contact until she's her normal self. You know, just to "erase" my previous neediness. Am I doing this right? Did I blow my chance with her or is there still a chance? Thank you.

You ever go to a smokey bar, and the smell of cigarettes clings to your clothes for weeks afterwards? Well, that's like desperation. A couple "no contact" gimmicks won't wash that away. Especially since it appears you were CONSTANTLY talking about marriage.

Dating (especially in the first few months) is supposed to be fun. It's not always some stepping stone into marriage. It's just two people enjoying each other's company, and having sex. And that can get ruined when one of them desperately clings to the idea of spending a LIFETIME together after only dating for a month or two....

don't know man, seeing my age and all, I think it'd be nice to settle down.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to settle down. It's just desperate and pathetic to try to settle down with someone you've only dated briefly.

 

[Drdeee]

Id love to get married too.

 

[Fela Kuti]

I forgot to mention that she's not just a girl I barely know. I've known her for 4 years, even though we weren't really good friends. But earlier this year we started seeing each other more often by chance and our interests developed. But yeah, still doesn't justify my wanting to marry her I guess...

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

It boggles the mind how you can have 340 posts, yet seem clueless as to what this site is all about.

Troll?

 

[Drdeee]

His average posts per day less than yours. I bet you put down this fellow poster to show off. That's gay

 

[gaspipe]

Always let her bring up the issue of exclusivity and/or marriage first. A woman whose interested in a serious relationship or marriage will always bring it up or start hinting at it.

Its counterintuitive but the moment you bring up exclusivity let alone marriage first they seem to lose interest fast.