Saying I'm sorry!

[It's-Me]

Got myself into another sticky situation... part of learning/experimenting :s

Well here goes:

I was hanging out with this girl and a few friends at my bro's house. I am interested in this one girl there who I used to talk to quite often. Well I decided to get hammered and I ended up being the biggest a$$hole to her. Than before I left, she called some of her guy friends crying about how much of an a$$hole I was to her, and now they want to beat me up. Nonetheless, I still hooked up with her (just some tongue action, nothing more). I kept calling her names, slapping her, touching and I even put her down to floor (not even hard) because she did not want to hug me. I know the guys she cried to misinterpreted what happened as me trying to "rape" her in a way.

Obviously she's upset after me and does not want to talk to me anymore. I sent her an apology over text message saying something like: "I'm really sorry for being an a$$hole and I know I overdid it. If you don't want to talk to me anymore, I'll understand and if you still want to talk to me, I'd enjoy it". Her friend told me she read it, but she never answered back.

How should I play this situation now? I know she was interested in me and she definitely does know my good side...

 

[terran2k]

stand by the words you said (well texted).

 

[Nutz]

Got myself into another sticky situation... part of learning/experimenting :s

Well here goes:

I was hanging out with this girl and a few friends at my bro's house. I am interested in this one girl there who I used to talk to quite often. Well I decided to get hammered and I ended up being the biggest a$$hole to her. Than before I left, she called some of her guy friends crying about how much of an a$$hole I was to her, and now they want to beat me up. Nonetheless, I still hooked up with her (just some tongue action, nothing more). I kept calling her names, slapping her, touching and I even put her down to floor (not even hard) because she did not want to hug me. I know the guys she cried to misinterpreted what happened as me trying to "rape" her in a way.

Obviously she's upset after me and does not want to talk to me anymore. I sent her an apology over text message saying something like: "I'm really sorry for being an a$$hole and I know I overdid it. If you don't want to talk to me anymore, I'll understand and if you still want to talk to me, I'd enjoy it". Her friend told me she read it, but she never answered back.

How should I play this situation now? I know she was interested in me and she definitely does know my good side...

You're done. She may come back, but damn did you tip your beta hand. The best way I've seen to handle going too far is something Neil Strauss came up with:

Explain that you and your sister/close friend/whoever bust each other's balls and that's how you show your affection, but sometimes you make the mistake of going overboard. You're not apologizing per se and begging her to like you, but you're still showing a softer side and "explaining" yourself all the while framing even pissing her off in a positive light.

 

[Falcon25]

The only time I say sorry is when I go from her anus to her vagina, therefore causing a bladder infection. I promptly apologize and take care of her for the next two weeks. Where I forget and it happens again.

 

[Diaforetikos]

It's pretty much over. I wouldn't have apologized. Just move on, and eff what she thinks about you. And drink less.

 

[It's-Me]

stand by the words you said (well texted).

Thank you.

 

[WalkingStick]

I think you blew it.

You acted dominant and she was attracted to you. Whether you went a little overboard or not doesn't matter because it worked (she made out with you).

Its very clear to her now that you are NOT who she thought you were. She thought you were playful, strong, and masculine (Alpha). You have shown her that you are actually apologetic, scared, and supplicating (Beta).

If she ever talks to you again, expect her to say that your behavior hurt her too much and she can't bring herself to forgive you. For girls, its much easier than telling you she wanted the a**hole side of you.

 

[It's-Me]

I think you blew it.

You acted dominant and she was attracted to you. Whether you went a little overboard or not doesn't matter because it worked (she made out with you).

Its very clear to her now that you are NOT who she thought you were. She thought you were playful, strong, and masculine (Alpha). You have shown her that you are actually apologetic, scared, and supplicating (Beta).

If she ever talks to you again, expect her to say that your behavior hurt her too much and she can't bring herself to forgive you. For girls, its much easier than telling you she wanted the a**hole side of you.

I dunno bro, it wasn't just a little overboard it was exaggerated. At the end, she even said she was disgusted by me. I really don't know what to make of it...

 

[vatoloco]

Nonetheless, I still hooked up with her (just some tongue action, nothing more). I kept calling her names, slapping her, touching and I even put her down to floor (not even hard) because she did not want to hug me. I know the guys she cried to misinterpreted what happened as me trying to "rape" her in a way.

Dude, what the fvck!? And you're wondering why her friends want to beat you up?

Just out of curiosity, was the making out before or after you put her to the ground?

Ease up on the alcohol man.

 

[It's-Me]

Dude, what the fvck!? And you're wondering why her friends want to beat you up?

Just out of curiosity, was the making out before or after you put her to the ground?

Ease up on the alcohol man.

After...

 

[WalkingStick]

I dunno bro, it wasn't just a little overboard it was exaggerated. At the end, she even said she was disgusted by me. I really don't know what to make of it...

Well, you know the situation much better than I do, but what I read didnt sound over the top. Even if your behavior was exaggerated and even if it actually DID disgust her (which I still dont believe, remember she made out with you AFTER you did this stuff) you still went about apologizing the wrong way.

When in doubt (and in generally all situations) judge by a girls actions, not her words.

Was she also drunk?

 

[It's-Me]

Well, you know the situation much better than I do, but what I read didnt sound over the top. Even if your behavior was exaggerated and even if it actually DID disgust her (which I still dont believe, remember she made out with you AFTER you did this stuff) you still went about apologizing the wrong way.

When in doubt (and in generally all situations) judge by a girls actions, not her words.

Was she also drunk?

She was close to sober.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

The lessons you should have learned:
1) This is what can happen when you get drunk
2) Apologizing over text-message can come off as insincere

As for what you should do now, you can't really take back what you've already done, so there's really nothing you can do to "fix" this situation. Just accept that it is what it is and move on. She will come back to you if she wants to. Leave her alone for now though.

The one thing I recommend that you should not do is apologize the next time the two of you speak. If you bring it up right away, a couple things will happen. First, you will sacrifice some of your status, and second, she will be reminded of the situation and that is not good.

The best thing you can do next time you interact with her is to have an aura of forgiveness around you and make up for your bullshvt by having a really good time together with her.

 

[eaglez1177]

The only time I say sorry is when I go from her anus to her vagina, therefore causing a bladder infection. I promptly apologize and take care of her for the next two weeks. Where I forget and it happens again.

Hahahaha:crackup: