"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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saw this on fb thought it was funny. our relationship rules

fuko2007

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We Always Hear 'the Rules' From The Female Side
Now Here Are The Rules From The Male Side

These Are Our Rules!

Please Note. These Are All Numbered #1 On Purpose!

1. Men Are Not Mind Readers.

1. Learn To Work The Toilet Seat. You're A Big Girl. If It's Up, Put It Down. We Need It Up, You Need It Down. You Don't Hear Us Complaining About You Leaving It Down.

1. Crying Is Blackmail.

1. Ask For What You Want. Let Us Be Clear On This One:

Subtle Hints Do Not Work!
Strong Hints Do Not Work!
Obvious Hints Do Not Work!
Just Say It!

1. Yes And No Are Perfectly Acceptable Answers To Almost Every Question.

1.. Come To Us With A Problem Only If You Want Help Solving It. That's What We Do. Sympathy Is What Your Girlfriends Are For.

1. Anything We Said 6 Months Ago Is Inadmissible In An Argument. In Fact, All Comments Become Null And Void After 7 Days.

1. If You Think You're Fat, You Probably Are. Don't Ask Us.

1. If Something We Said Can Be Interpreted Two Ways And One Of The Ways Makes You Sad Or Angry, We Meant The Other One.

1. You Can Either Ask Us To Do Something Or Tell Us How You Want It Done. Not Both.
If You Already Know Best How To Do It, Just Do It Yourself.

1. Whenever Possible, Please Say Whatever You Have To Say During Commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus Did Not Need Directions And Neither Do We...

1. All Men See In Only 16 Colors, Like Windows Default Settings..
Peach, For Example, Is A Fruit, Not A Color. Pumpkin Is Also A Fruit. We Have No Idea What Mauve Is.

1. If We Ask What Is Wrong And You Say 'nothing,' We Will Act Like Nothing's Wrong. We Know You Are Lying, But It Is Just Not Worth The Hassle.

1. If You Ask A Question You Don't Want An Answer To, Expect An Answer You Don't Want To Hear..

1. When We Have To Go Somewhere, Absolutely Anything You Wear Is Fine...really.

1.. Don't Ask Us What We're Thinking About Unless You Are Prepared To Discuss Such Topics As Football Or Motor Sports.

1. You Have Enough Clothes.

1 .. You Have Too Many Shoes.

1. I Am In Shape. Round Is A Shape!

1.. Thank You For Reading This. Yes, I Know, I Have To Sleep On The Couch Tonight.. But Did You Know Men Really Don't Mind That? It's Like Camping...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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Apart nr 1 and 1 I agree, Im not gonna sleep on the couch and they can talk any moment but they will get acceptable levels of attention during commercial or server loading the map.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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LOL, "It's like camping"... "Round is a shape"...

Seriously, though, how does a married man end up sleeping on the couch? By what authority is he relegated to not sleep in his own bed?

Does this actually happen in real life? I can't imagine being kicked out of my own bed by a woman.
 
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