"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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saw this on fb thought it was funny. our relationship rules

fuko2007

Senior Don Juan
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We Always Hear 'the Rules' From The Female Side
Now Here Are The Rules From The Male Side

These Are Our Rules!

Please Note. These Are All Numbered #1 On Purpose!

1. Men Are Not Mind Readers.

1. Learn To Work The Toilet Seat. You're A Big Girl. If It's Up, Put It Down. We Need It Up, You Need It Down. You Don't Hear Us Complaining About You Leaving It Down.

1. Crying Is Blackmail.

1. Ask For What You Want. Let Us Be Clear On This One:

Subtle Hints Do Not Work!
Strong Hints Do Not Work!
Obvious Hints Do Not Work!
Just Say It!

1. Yes And No Are Perfectly Acceptable Answers To Almost Every Question.

1.. Come To Us With A Problem Only If You Want Help Solving It. That's What We Do. Sympathy Is What Your Girlfriends Are For.

1. Anything We Said 6 Months Ago Is Inadmissible In An Argument. In Fact, All Comments Become Null And Void After 7 Days.

1. If You Think You're Fat, You Probably Are. Don't Ask Us.

1. If Something We Said Can Be Interpreted Two Ways And One Of The Ways Makes You Sad Or Angry, We Meant The Other One.

1. You Can Either Ask Us To Do Something Or Tell Us How You Want It Done. Not Both.
If You Already Know Best How To Do It, Just Do It Yourself.

1. Whenever Possible, Please Say Whatever You Have To Say During Commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus Did Not Need Directions And Neither Do We...

1. All Men See In Only 16 Colors, Like Windows Default Settings..
Peach, For Example, Is A Fruit, Not A Color. Pumpkin Is Also A Fruit. We Have No Idea What Mauve Is.

1. If We Ask What Is Wrong And You Say 'nothing,' We Will Act Like Nothing's Wrong. We Know You Are Lying, But It Is Just Not Worth The Hassle.

1. If You Ask A Question You Don't Want An Answer To, Expect An Answer You Don't Want To Hear..

1. When We Have To Go Somewhere, Absolutely Anything You Wear Is Fine...really.

1.. Don't Ask Us What We're Thinking About Unless You Are Prepared To Discuss Such Topics As Football Or Motor Sports.

1. You Have Enough Clothes.

1 .. You Have Too Many Shoes.

1. I Am In Shape. Round Is A Shape!

1.. Thank You For Reading This. Yes, I Know, I Have To Sleep On The Couch Tonight.. But Did You Know Men Really Don't Mind That? It's Like Camping...
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Who Dares Win

Master Don Juan
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Apart nr 1 and 1 I agree, Im not gonna sleep on the couch and they can talk any moment but they will get acceptable levels of attention during commercial or server loading the map.
 

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
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LOL, "It's like camping"... "Round is a shape"...

Seriously, though, how does a married man end up sleeping on the couch? By what authority is he relegated to not sleep in his own bed?

Does this actually happen in real life? I can't imagine being kicked out of my own bed by a woman.
 
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