Saw some crazy stuff about me in my plates messages

[youngmack]

So I was at my main plates house . We’ve been talking and banging for like 6 months now . Really like her and for the most part I’ve been doing things right . Here’s the confusing part . While at her house I was using her laptop to do some school work and I decided to go through messages with her and her best friend (I know wrong move)

I seen her saying stuff like she doesn’t find me that attractive and that’s the reason she doesn’t be on me as much ,she does not like my beard and that it’s barely a beard , that I’m her buddy that gives her sex and kisses , that I’m not someone to take home to her mom because I don’t have much goin in my life , and that her mom would laugh in my face ,she feels that she spoils me and that she wants to be spoiled, that I turn her off because I do what she asks me to. Her friend asked her why Is she still talking to me and she says she doesn’t know and her friend suggested that maybe it’s because she don’t wanna be alone . Etc etc .. just basically downplaying me and our interaction.

On the other hand this girl treats me like a king and always supplicates to me . She has sex with me whenever I want and begs me to come over all the time. Always wants to watch movies with me and cuddle , she supports me fully and tries to motivate me . I’m going through hard times financially cuz I don’t have a job so she always buys me things and when we go on a dates she suggests to split the bill . We vibe and have many things in common and she compliments me and always asked for my advice and help . Always asking to be my gf and even asked me to be her valentines .

Seeing these messsges shocked the hell out of me becssue they are the complete opposite of how she acts towards me . Part of me feels that she’s just trying to put up a front to her friend but I’m not sure . Part of me is also kinda upset cuz I am feeling this girl and she’s def gf material besides the fact that she’s skinny . What I want to do is just pay her back for everything that she’s paid , let her know I went through the messagss and I know how she actually feels about me and just move on .

What are you guys takes on this ?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Women say different things to different people on different days. Who knows how serious she is about what she said or why she said it.

I would judge her by her actions, as you have, and if everything you say is true, I don't see why you'd give that up. Are you investing that much? By the way you make it sound, she is investing more in you than you are in her. Why give all that up? If you're going to stay with her, you CAN NOT bring up the fact that you snooped through her messages, under any justification. You must let it go, erase it from your mind, and just keep moving forward. Don't get butt-hurt and insecure about it. I would, however, take note of her saying you "do everything she says". Perhaps you are too complaint. Also ensure you are pursuing other women and not relying on this one; she may change her mind about you at any moment with little warning.

Your comment about her trying to motivate you does raise a red flag. You should be motivated and driven to succeed for yourself. Your woman should never feel she has to motivate you. It will really lower your value in her eyes, and you don't want to rely on anyone else to motivate you anyway.

 

[youngmack]

Women say different things to different people on different days. Who knows how serious she is about what she said or why she said it.

I would judge her by her actions, as you have, and if everything you say is true, I don't see why you'd give that up. Are you investing that much? By the way you make it sound, she is investing more in you than you are in her. Why give all that up? If you're going to stay with her, you CAN NOT bring up the fact that you snooped through her messages, under any justification. You must let it go, erase it from your mind, and just keep moving forward. Don't get butt-hurt and insecure about it. I would, however, take note of her saying you "do everything she says". Perhaps you are too complaint. Also ensure you are pursuing other women and not relying on this one; she may change her mind about you at any moment with little warning.

Your comment about her trying to motivate you does raise a red flag. You should be motivated and driven to succeed for yourself. Your woman should never feel she has to motivate you. It will really lower your value in her eyes, and you don't want to rely on anyone else to motivate you anyway.

yea I understand. and yea she does invest way more into me. I am seeing other girls but this one stands out. she has the least red flags, least trauma and her insecurities are the most tolerable/ least problematic.Literally everything is in my court and I control most of the interaction. I would try to erase it but knowing me I feel it would always come back up in the back of my mind when around her. She really was changing the way I viewed women but this thing really has felt like a stab.

 

[Spaz]

Women are known to brag to their friends, it's a common tactic used to increase their social value amongst their own.

Don't listen to what a woman says but what they do, therein lies their true intent.

It's just like you, bragging here she's ur plate when in fact she's more then that as u r acting as if she's ur girlfriend.

Saying you're got plates increases ur DJ credentials amongst other men.

But if she's just a plate then you wouldn't even be bothered with all this hurt as she's just a pump and dump orbiter wouldn't you ?

So let this small tidbit slide since she's been good to you etc.

 

[Atom Smasher]

@youngmack , girls express what they feel at any given time as if it’s reality. Their feelings and what they think is true change at the drop of a hat.

She was feeling that way at the time of writing to her friend, but the way she treats you sounds like she’s definitely into you.

I totally get how you feel after reading that, but you must remember that women figure out what they think and how they feel by talking things out. That’s just the opposite of us. We think things through internally and onlyvtalk about them if we need additional advice. The process of talking (or messaging), for a woman represents her actually trying to figure things out.

Women’s thoughts on things and people vacillate like the ocean.

I recommend that you let it slide the best you can and use this opportunity to hit your internal reset switch and step up your game in terms of the things you have learned here. Some of that has been mentioned already in this thread.

Look at this as opportunity. Women are inherently unstable and cannot think for themselves without verbalizing. You may well have just stumbled upon her thinking process as she was sitting out how she feels.

Run with it brother and use this a jumping off point to get your game to next level.

 

[youngmack]

Women are known to brag to their friends, it's a common tactic used to increase their social value amongst their own.

Don't listen to what a woman says but what they do, therein lies their true intent.

It's just like you, bragging here she's ur plate when in fact she's more then that as u r acting as if she's ur girlfriend.

Saying you're got plates increases ur DJ credentials amongst other men.

But if she's just a plate then you wouldn't even be bothered with all this hurt as she's just a pump and dump orbiter wouldn't you ?

So let this small tidbit slide since she's been good to you etc.

well im not bragging, I've admitted that i'm feeling her the most so yeah I obviously like her, but im trying not to jump into something serious with her just yet. I wanted to continue this 80/20 situation that we have just letting her show her quality to me for the possibility of making her my gf. but I get what u are saying. I will try to let it slide

 

[youngmack]

@youngmack , girls express what they feel at any given time as if it’s reality. Their feelings and what they think is true change at the drop of a hat.

She was feeling that way at the time of writing to her friend, but the way she treats you sounds like she’s definitely into you.

I totally get how you feel after reading that, but you must remember that women figure out what they think and how they feel by talking things out. That’s just the opposite of us. We think things through internally and onlyvtalk about them if we need additional advice. The process of talking (or messaging), for a woman represents her actually trying to figure things out.

Women’s thoughts on things and people vacillate like the ocean.

I recommend that you let it slide the best you can and use this opportunity to hit your internal reset switch and step up your game in terms of the things you have learned here. Some of that has been mentioned already in this thread.

Look at this as opportunity. Women are inherently unstable and cannot think for themselves without verbalizing. You may well have just stumbled upon her thinking process as she was sitting out how she feels.

Run with it brother and use this a jumping off point to get your game to next level.

long time atom ! that makes sense. I guess I still have to drill it in my mind that their words should be taken with a grain of salt. its so hard to remember that because I always assume people in general will behave the way I do. Do you think I should fall back a little ? this siuation is making me realize that I have stuff to work on like figuring out my life, graduating college and improving my physical appearance .

 

[Masculinity]

So I was at my main plates house . We’ve been talking and banging for like 6 months now . Really like her and for the most part I’ve been doing things right . Here’s the confusing part . While at her house I was using her laptop to do some school work and I decided to go through messages with her and her best friend (I know wrong move)

I seen her saying stuff like she doesn’t find me that attractive and that’s the reason she doesn’t be on me as much ,she does not like my beard and that it’s barely a beard , that I’m her buddy that gives her sex and kisses , that I’m not someone to take home to her mom because I don’t have much goin in my life , and that her mom would laugh in my face ,she feels that she spoils me and that she wants to be spoiled, that I turn her off because I do what she asks me to. Her friend asked her why Is she still talking to me and she says she doesn’t know and her friend suggested that maybe it’s because she don’t wanna be alone . Etc etc .. just basically downplaying me and our interaction.

On the other hand this girl treats me like a king and always supplicates to me . She has sex with me whenever I want and begs me to come over all the time. Always wants to watch movies with me and cuddle , she supports me fully and tries to motivate me . I’m going through hard times financially cuz I don’t have a job so she always buys me things and when we go on a dates she suggests to split the bill . We vibe and have many things in common and she compliments me and always asked for my advice and help . Always asking to be my gf and even asked me to be her valentines .

Seeing these messsges shocked the hell out of me becssue they are the complete opposite of how she acts towards me . Part of me feels that she’s just trying to put up a front to her friend but I’m not sure . Part of me is also kinda upset cuz I am feeling this girl and she’s def gf material besides the fact that she’s skinny . What I want to do is just pay her back for everything that she’s paid , let her know I went through the messagss and I know how she actually feels about me and just move on .

What are you guys takes on this ?

One piece of advice. Do not be her puppy dog; do what she says (do not obey her commands).

Disarm her "orders" with laughter or have her do things for you. My exes used to be different around their friends than around me. Women are tribal.

 

[backseatjuan]

I bet she's hotter than you, or her friend is hotter than her, and she just justifies her being with a guy she thinks or her friend thinks or says is not as hot as she should have, if that makes sense. Does that make sense? Either that or you're a poor guy with financial problems, or both, bellow her on looks and with financial problems, lol! Sure you want her to be your girlfriend, that's the best you can get right now. I too want a rich and beautiful girlfriend, I would prefer HB9.5 with rich parents, who have super high interest level in me, fcks amazing, spends with me 100% of her time, I'd wife her tomorrow!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

yea I understand. and yea she does invest way more into me. I am seeing other girls but this one stands out. she has the least red flags, least trauma and her insecurities are the most tolerable/ least problematic.Literally everything is in my court and I control most of the interaction. I would try to erase it but knowing me I feel it would always come back up in the back of my mind when around her. She really was changing the way I viewed women but this thing really has felt like a stab.

Sounds like you really have feels for this girl. Nothing wrong with that, but now you are up against two issues: 1 - You are developing strong feelings for a girl (which can cause you to act weak and needy if you aren't careful or very experienced), and 2 - You are feeling insecure about the messages you read (which can cause you to act insecure, weak, and needy of her validation in an attempt to undo that insecurity). Both of these things are inside of you and you have to get control of them as part of your own development. I don't mean to be critical - you're human, and I think most people would struggle with their own insecurities after reading what you did, but again, it's entirely within you to let it go. You can do it.

 

[sazc]

Essentially she's evaluating the future of you and she and she doesn't see long term potential or value in you (told friends she's trying to help you be better) but you satisfy her in the moment and she doesn't want to be alone.

Sounds to me like she considers YOU a plate that she's going to satisfy just enough/say the right things, in order to keep you around. You guys talk about doing this to plates all the time - same thing.

Bottom line - she is NOT gushing about how wonderful you are to her girlfriend's, that's a big deal. She's treating you well because she wants to keep you around for her needs. She's living in today with you, waiting to monkey branch with Chad as she doesn't see a future with you

enjoy being DJ'ed, DJ

 

[guru1000]

Lucky you. You just got the blueprint to her NEEDS menu.

She is feeling less attracted because you are not behaving like a MAN; that is, leading, and taking over the world, rather than allowing her to "support you fully and trying to motivate you." Very effeminate behavior. Recognize this as an awakening of your consciousness and not for her, but for YOU.

Step UP your game young blood. The world is calling you and demands your domination.

 

[Glassguy]

Let me explain something to you OP-

We all know of hot women who are dating guys with no job or a poorly paying job, they may abuse her, etc etc. While her friends and family know this, she WILL defend the man until the end of time. I've seen women even sever ties with friends and family just to stand up for their man even though he was a poor choice in everyone's eyes but hers. Why do women do this? Because the guy has emotionally hooked her for life and he keeps her chasing him. She is always in pursuit mode. Even though he treats her poorly, she must chase him because she knows he will bounce if she doesnt. He is a challenge.

So you havent beaten her, etc, and she is being disrespectful about you to her friend and downplaying the 2 of you. What does that tell you?

I think the #1 thing I noticed is your financial status. You have no job. What is your purpose? Are you on that purpose?

Women want someone that is independent in all phases (finances, emotional, psychological).

You seem to be Mr Nice guy. She is getting bored with you and now the other things (no job) are starting to become more of an issue.

While I will NEVER advocate going through a person's phone, messages, etc., I think you did it because you felt something was off with her and wanted to get to the bottom of it. You did just that and now it stings like a bytch doesnt it?

So lets flip the script- if she read messages like this on your laptop that you sent friends, how would she handle it? She would probably get all emotional and flip out on you.

We are men so we are going to deal with this in a masculine state and not in an emotional feminine state: I personally would categorize her behavior as being disrespectful towards you. So that being said, you MUST flip the script and again become higher value and essentially "the catch" that she must pursue. It is very difficult to do this knowing her thought process about all of this through the messages.

1.) Silence and Distance- I dont necessarily think you should ghost her because she is still giving you what you value (sex). You need to become LESS available and you need to put SEX on your radar with her and nothing else. She comes over or you go over there and you fvck her. When you are done, you will have an excuse to bail your @ss out of there instantly. No cuddling, no chit chat, nail her and get out. Instead of acting like you have something else to do, you should be finding other things to do.

2.) Be less available- do not respond to her texts right away. If she calls, let it go to VM. You need to shake things up. She needs to start wondering what you are doing instead of knowing your every move.

3.) Start hitting up a few other women- I dont advise you to start fvcking them yet, but you should be getting things in place for the worst case scenario with your GF. Most people dont plan to fail but they sure fail to plan. Get some new booty's lined up. You need some options because your GF apparently needs some competition.

4.) No dates. You smash at your place and then she bounces or vice versa. She WILL ask what is wrong and you just tell her that you have some job interviews, are meeting some buddies out, whatever. Dont give her any specifics or she will tie you up in lies.

5.) Instead of seeing her every day or every other day, cut it in half at the most. Maybe once or twice a week. She is your Fvck Buddy remember? Her words. Treat her as such.

Do this for the next 2-3 weeks. She will either start chasing you hard core or she will drift off. Either way you win.

If you do nothing, you will get talked about behind your back and she will eventually go looking for a better option. She probably has already and the better option just hasnt shown up yet.

If you do nothing you will get dumped. Start treating her as a FB and I promise you that if her interest level has fallen off it WILL come up. I will also promise you that she will either get a new, fresh perspective of you or she will just get p!ssed and end it. More than likely she will start defending you because you will show her value through you being less available and not putting any value in her other than her pvssy.

Only things in life that have HIGH VALUE are worth protecting and standing up for. Remember that. Raise your value in her eyes by doing what I just told you 1-5, #4 being the most important.

Take that advice to the bank.