Saw an interesting film in Trauma and Sexual Abuse class today...

[Wyldfire]

The film is called "Tough Guise Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity"

Originally I thought it was going to be a "blame men" movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. It's really very interesting.

So after the movie we had a class discussion. I took the opportunity to bring up the subject of how important it is when discussing male on female violence and sexual abuse that people need to remember not to do so in a blaming way that demonizes or belittles men. The movie examines how society teaches men to be violent. One thing I hadn't noticed before is the way movies sexualize violence in slasher films by depicting women in a way that would get males aroused and then showing violence right at the point where males are most aroused by the image of the woman in the movie. It's true that movies do that and if you think about it, it's kinda screwed up.

During the discussion one of the women in class mentioned that she had been sexually assaulted and she said she had struggled to try to help her husband understand how it made her feel. I pointed out to her that rape to a woman is comparable to a violent mugging and assault for a man. I explained that while to women rape feels like an attack on their femininity and identity as a woman, a violent mugging and an assault feels like an attack on a man's masculinity and identity as a man. The class had a very good discussion on how important it is to not blame men or women as a whole over issues like this and that blaming only leads to a breakdown in dialouge before it even gets started.

It was a really good class.

I think the film is something every guy on here should try to see as it is one of the few that addresses male on female violence and what contributes to it happening without bashing men.

 

[Wyldfire]

I disagree with:

"The movie examines how society teaches men to be violent"

I think society actually tries to make men passive. By our nature we're agressive (it's what made us good hunters in the caveman days), why do you think guys like sports so much?

I sort of agreed with you before I saw this movie. It makes a lot of very strong and valid points. Also, the man who talks between clips explains that what he is trying to do is to help men find a more balanced and healthy way to define masculinity that doesn't encourage violence. I liked that it was a man who spoke in the video because if it were a woman speaking I don't think it would have been as authentic and compelling a film.

Sadly, it's mostly feminists that are trying to talk about violence in men and most of the time the feminists end up being really offensive and blaming men when it's not men's fault.

I think what society is doing to men is sending them mixed signals. Men are told they should be more sensitive and not be violent but at the same time they are still being socialized as boys to put up a tough front from a very young age. In fact, I also think that mixed message is the cause of all the frustration and anger many men feel towards feminism and sometimes women because they just don't understand what women and society expect from men anymore and men feel like they're screwing up no matter what they do to an extent.

The guy in the film also made a point to say that women need to stop sending the mixed message to men that they should be "bad boys" by placing more value in men who are not violent and aren't viewing masculinity in a violent and offensive way.

It's the most balanced discussion of this issue I've ever seen which I why I recommend the guys here see it if possible.

 

[Play the Game]

We're all no better than animals.
If there weren't any society or laws i would go around raping every b1tch around.... and so would every other heterosexual guy.
The only thing stopping me from going and fvcking that hot ass walking down the street is a law that says i will go to jail.


This isn't rocket science. Most guys understand this deep down, we have physical power to do whatever we like.
How do you think leaders convinced their followers to go out and kill?
For gold and ass thats how. They would kill all the men in the town they conquered and then divided the women as sex slaves.
American ignorance and lack of historical knowledge never ceases to amaze me.

Just look at what happened in Iraq recently. Soldiers killed an entire family to rape 1 girl.
Do you think it was the pressure they were under? or is it in their nature to do whatever they want with the POWER they possess.

I'd just like to quote a famous FEMINIST before i'm done:

"All men are rapists and that's all they are" -- Marilyn French

 

[seanchai]

American ignorance and lack of historical knowledge never ceases to amaze me.

What the fvck? Where did that come from? You think Americans are ignorant of sex and violence?

EDIT: Wyldfire, I like this post a lot. Sounds like an interesting film. I hate the vilification of the male sex drive, but I agree with a lot of what feminism offers.

 

[Wyldfire]

What the fvck? Where did that come from? You think Americans are ignorant of sex and violence?

EDIT: Wyldfire, I like this post a lot. Sounds like an interesting film. I hate the vilification of the male sex drive, but I agree with a lot of what feminism offers.

I don't think this is a feminist issue at all. Yes, most violence against women is committed by men, but men commit WAY more violence against other men. This is a male issue because men are fighting not only with each other but with themselves as well.

 

[Poonani Maker]

hmm..Sometimes I Do get sick of myself. I need to watch a Disney movie or something. I'd never want to be a woman though, but we all die, and they've got it easier, because they're weaker, and sex makes me tired, but no sex makes me sick too. Sometimes I wish women would just get off of me so I can think about my health. I hate aging.

 

[ValleyDJing]

We're all no better than animals.

American ignorance and lack of historical knowledge never ceases to amaze me.

Just look at what happened in Iraq recently. Soldiers killed an entire family to rape 1 girl.
Do you think it was the pressure they were under? or is it in their nature to do whatever they want with the POWER they possess.

Ever seen Jarhead? Dude, how would you feel if you had to go over a year with no ass? I'm not excusing that sort of behavior...I'm just saying, you literally go crazy, which makes your first and last sentences absolutely true. Humans are just barely a cut above animals. But I don't think its an "American" problem, and I take offense to that s.hit.

 

[Wyldfire]

I love how people from other countries just routinely bash America when EVERY country has plenty of skeletons in their governments' closets. I bet his country is no different...

 

[Play the Game]

I don't think this is a feminist issue at all. Yes, most violence against women is committed by men, but men commit WAY more violence against other men. This is a male issue because men are fighting not only with each other but with themselves as well.

This is all tied together in the BIG picture. Feminism is a deviation from the "natural state". In the natural state it is normal for men to fight. Violence is a remaining animal instinct that lives on from our humble beginnings.

 

[Wyldfire]

Play The Game...look up cultural lag...that's what male violence is. The culture has changed drastically and male violence is NOT necessary. Males are raised and socially conditioned to embrace violence because society tells men they have to be violent. The problem isn't feminists blaming men for everything. The problem is that society is extremely violent and self-destructive and angry and society is contributing to the problem by socializing males to continue to embrace violence.

A man does NOT have to be violent to be masculine. Strength, respect, influence and power does NOT equal violence. Men do NOT need to be violent to be strong, be respected, be influential or have power. It's a man's CHARACTER that has always provided those traits. No one is saying to be feminine. The whole point of the film was to show that we all need to do our part to show men that not only is violence not necessary, it's also not a positive trait to have.

 

[Hyde]

We're all no better than animals.
If there weren't any society or laws i would go around raping every b1tch around.... and so would every other heterosexual guy.
The only thing stopping me from going and fvcking that hot ass walking down the street is a law that says i will go to jail.

You know what the difference between us and other animals are? We're smart enough to control our own natural instincts in a way that favor our society as a whole. We live more comfortably then other species, be thankful for that. Those same laws protect us from killing every person that pisses us off. We'd be an endangered species if it weren't for that. Those laws also protect us from getting all our sh*t, that we worked so hard for, from being stolen.

Our brain has evolved further then any other species. We can communicate with each other which allows us to realize that women don't like being raped (gasp). We can feel sympathetic for the woman that is being raped. We can feel anger towards those soldiers in Iraq walking around raping everyone. We can, I don't know, protect our own species. Mainly from ourselves.

btw, Play The Game, I think you're a prick. Women are still human beings. How would you like getting a **** shoved up your ass, while you're walking down the street to the local grocery store to get something to eat? Yeah? Now it's a sensative subject, isn't it?

Seriously, to the guys that think like this on the website, here's a little advice. Stop. It's not healthy. It's okay to point out that feminists are degrading men. That's true and it should stop. But to hate women because of it? That makes us no better then feminists and sort of gay if you ask me.