I have my own opinions on the subject, but would like some second opinions as well to make sure that I am not letting my own biases and experiences cloud the issue.
Details.
My Hot female friend is recently out of a 15 year abusive relationship, so she’s a bit crazy and knows it. She is not even legally divorced.
She hooked up with a guy from her social circle for a friends with benefits deal after he started perusing her. She was open and honest off the bat that it was just a sex thing, because she knows she’s crazy right now and nowhere near ready for a relationship. They meet up once a week for some sex. She likes the attention he gets good booty, it’s all good. Her only complaint with the sex, is that he needs a bigger ****, but he’s good with hands and tongue.
Now it is a couple of months in to this, and now he is offering her housing, iphones, buying her shoes that she “liked” on her facebook (he said they were so she would think of him when she walked), doing things out of character because I do them and she mentioned it was cool or funny or something, taking off work in case she “needs” him on her divorce days, and asking her to say “I love you” while they are having sex. The guy likes every single thing she puts on facebook, stopped partying in another state when he was gone for the weekend, and went to his hotel at 11:00 pm to try and sext with her. This week, while she was home from work with a sick child, he goes to her work and douses her lab coat with his cologne so she “smells him all week”.
She has not accepted any of his gifts. The fact that she could totally use him for his money but chooses not to illustrates her character.
Now it’s getting invasive, and worrisome. It’s obvious that he is ate up with oneitis, and wants a lot more than just sex, but in my own personal opinion, the recent behaviors are the precursor to an explosion. If she accepted the house, she would be in his debt. The phone would be a tracking device, and put him in some control of her. The invasiveness of going to her work, shows that he is no longer constrained by and will ignore boundaries. The asking for “I love you”, facebook stalking, etc show how much he wants her to be his. I say she should get out now, because this is already potential for obsession and craziness.
She hears his words that he is ok, not jealous, and their arrangement is fine, and wants to continue the FWB relationship because it’s safe and decent. Also after the marriage she was in, the male attention is really appealing. I am thinking for the poor guy’s sanity, plus her safety she needs to cut this one loose right away. From what I can tell, he is a good guy, just Chumped up really bad, and we all have probably been there done that at some point in our lives. Shes my friend, and I want to look out for her, and I hate to see a good guy get jacked up with Chumpdom.
Is this as scary as it sounds to me, or am I just paranoid.
Details.
My Hot female friend is recently out of a 15 year abusive relationship, so she’s a bit crazy and knows it. She is not even legally divorced.
She hooked up with a guy from her social circle for a friends with benefits deal after he started perusing her. She was open and honest off the bat that it was just a sex thing, because she knows she’s crazy right now and nowhere near ready for a relationship. They meet up once a week for some sex. She likes the attention he gets good booty, it’s all good. Her only complaint with the sex, is that he needs a bigger ****, but he’s good with hands and tongue.
Now it is a couple of months in to this, and now he is offering her housing, iphones, buying her shoes that she “liked” on her facebook (he said they were so she would think of him when she walked), doing things out of character because I do them and she mentioned it was cool or funny or something, taking off work in case she “needs” him on her divorce days, and asking her to say “I love you” while they are having sex. The guy likes every single thing she puts on facebook, stopped partying in another state when he was gone for the weekend, and went to his hotel at 11:00 pm to try and sext with her. This week, while she was home from work with a sick child, he goes to her work and douses her lab coat with his cologne so she “smells him all week”.
She has not accepted any of his gifts. The fact that she could totally use him for his money but chooses not to illustrates her character.
Now it’s getting invasive, and worrisome. It’s obvious that he is ate up with oneitis, and wants a lot more than just sex, but in my own personal opinion, the recent behaviors are the precursor to an explosion. If she accepted the house, she would be in his debt. The phone would be a tracking device, and put him in some control of her. The invasiveness of going to her work, shows that he is no longer constrained by and will ignore boundaries. The asking for “I love you”, facebook stalking, etc show how much he wants her to be his. I say she should get out now, because this is already potential for obsession and craziness.
She hears his words that he is ok, not jealous, and their arrangement is fine, and wants to continue the FWB relationship because it’s safe and decent. Also after the marriage she was in, the male attention is really appealing. I am thinking for the poor guy’s sanity, plus her safety she needs to cut this one loose right away. From what I can tell, he is a good guy, just Chumped up really bad, and we all have probably been there done that at some point in our lives. Shes my friend, and I want to look out for her, and I hate to see a good guy get jacked up with Chumpdom.
Is this as scary as it sounds to me, or am I just paranoid.
