Satisfaction comes from within

[Fender]

I'm 16 now. I lead a pretty nice life- good family, good friends, good grades, good body.

But ever since I hit puberty at the age of 13, I felt "incomplete." As if something was missing in my soul.

And guess what I thought would fill that void in my life?

If you guessed "a girl," then give yourself a pat on the back.

I came here, to this site of wisdom, in the hope that I would become the ultimate ladies-man. And in some ways, this site has done its job perfectly. I can now talk with girls, get them laughing, initiate some kino, etc.

But I'm still not satisfied. I'm still not happy.

Just a week ago, I got my first "official" girlfriend. The past 1-2 years of my life has been in preparation for this day. And yet, where is the happiness? Where is the joy that was promised to me by disneyland and other hollywood stories? Why is there still that hollow feeeling in my soul?

That's when I realised that the space in my soul was not to be filled with something from the outside. It had to be filled from within. No amount of material goods or money or even girls would fill that void. I have to fill it by myself. By the way I think. By the way I feel.

No matter what happens externally, if my heart isn't set in the right "frame," then I will never be happy.

Even if I get loads of really good friends, I won't appreciate it. Even if I get wondrous grades, I'll shrug it off as if nothing happened. Even if I get a girlfriend, I will constantly worry about her leaving me.

Alternatively, if I change the way my heart "thinks," then really- nothing on the outside matters. Even if all your friends ditch you, even if you fail all your exams, even if your girl goes off with another jerk, you'll still be happy.

And in the end, is it not happiness that matters the most?

 

[.illadelph]

i agree with you. it all comes from within. if it doesn't - as a result of our expectations - we'll never truly be satisfied. that is why i know when i expect things to go exactly as i plan, they fall through.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

Some would call what you just described confidence in your abilities.

Myself, I have none. I just am.

 

[Fender]

Not really a confidence in our own ablities, more like...

not basing your happiness and joy on getting a girlfriend, or getting a good job, or any other 2194610294612 external things that we "think" will make us happy.

Instead change your attitude and the way you think.

Attraction may not be a choice (a little DYD for you there...), but happiness IS!

 

[unnamed04]

Thats the thing though; How can you tell someone who has never had a girlfriend, that his happiness will not change when he finally does.

He will not realise this UNTIL it actually happens.

experience alone affirms belief

 

[Fender]

"experience alone affirms belief"

Very nice quote there. But I'd like to say that it goes both ways- belief can lead to an experience.

" Thats the thing though; How can you tell someone who has never had a girlfriend, that his happiness will not change when he finally does."-unnamed04

I just found it silly for myself to base my happiness on something I've never even experienced (getting a girl).

Just wanted to tell you guys that Happiness comes from within.

 

[Boner da Stoner]

Too true, but limits are endless...

If it comes from within...

Why is it with the right techniques, methods, models, actions. Whatever you want to call them. I can make a girl cry, I've talked girls out of suicide, I've also blown a girl off that was tryina grab my crotch on the dancefloor.

I don't know what it is, but it is crazy nuts. Happiness comes from within, as long as you believe there is nothing outside, and that nothing you do or anybody else does can change that. Once you believe that with a conviction, you are essentially a robot.

Define feelings.

Than look back at your message that happiness comes from within. Your brain? Yes that is true, I'll give you that.

Now why does your brain think that is happiness?