Sarging with Swampcamel: A Playbook Journal

[Swampcamel]

Hey and hello seasoned and aspiring DJs. I'm new to this forum, been on here for maybe a couple of weeks, though I've been reading PUA and slowly developing a system for a couple o' years. I say slowly because upon my first real good hookup from following practices, the girl pulled me into a much longer, dramatic relationship and I dropped all my game for her, in turn dropping my ambitions and self-work, spiraling into an inevitable breakup and egregious recovery period that involved many travels on the road and reacquainting myself with sane people before I could once again, in turn, become sane and stabilized enough to care about getting my life back to that golden path of dreams all of us are here to learn how to walk.

I've been limiting my field, though, and I thought the best way to hold myself to that standard I want to be at is to start journaling my field attempts, successes, failures, whathaveyou's, in that I can set a goal for how many entries I need to write every week and so have some material object hanging over my head to actually get it done. I'm going to keep it small the first week, build myself up, give myself a ladder to climb, so my goal is to sarge four scenes this week, and I'll raise my bar the following week. Certainly, I could experience such relief and success that I could easily beat that standard, but I'm giving myself a goal that doesn't put too much pressure on me but still holds me to new efforts.

I've been letting myself flow where ever with friends to hopeful potential sarges, and the results aren't great. My social circle is unimaginably ****ed in the neurosis department, BPDs, alcoholics and trashy girls left and right. The most god-awful bars... the most imbalanced sausage fest parties... and none of 'em with dudes who have any motivation to get on this road for real. So, it's a challenge, I'm surrounded by people who for the most part provide very few opportunities.

I'm going out to find the healthy ones, I'll let you know how it goes. :woo: This thread is more for me giving myself goals and to go back over my nights, but feel free to advise, comment, question as you will.

 

[Zarky]

upon my first real good hookup from following practices, the girl pulled me into a much longer, dramatic relationship and I dropped all my game for her, in turn dropping my ambitions and self-work, spiraling into an inevitable breakup and egregious recovery period that involved many travels on the road and reacquainting myself with sane people before I could once again, in turn, become sane and stabilized enough to care about getting my life back

Good lord man. Don't blame a woman for that. If any person is able to overcome your own willpower to that extent you should be in therapy. Tell me you're in therapy.

 

[Swampcamel]

Oh no, dude, I totally blame myself, but she was marriage-bound in a somewhat theological way where I was not, am not. I rolled with it and got sucked in cause it was easy. Definitely my fault for inaction.

Egregious recovery period, my fault as well, stayed connected with her for way too long after the breakup. As for willpower, enh, I believed it was what I wanted after having invested so much into it. It was failing, though, so I was depressed, and became less ambitious and motivated. Pretty standard cycle, just too love-blind to attack the problem. I don't know, she's pretty BPD, these relationships suck you in, the chaos of it all.

But no, don't think I need therapy pal lol. Maybe then, coulda avoided a lot of grief and wasted time, but some more solid homies woulda been better therapy tbh.