Sarging at the Gym?

[DjNLes]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum. Just wanted to say that it's a wonderful forum with very helpful information! My question concerns approaching someone at the gym. I'm interested in this one chic but not exactly sure how to proceed. She has her headphones on all the time. Yesterday, I saw her on the bike. So I sat on the bike right next to her. I keep looking over to see when I should make my move. But she was pedalling like mad and was looking straight all the time. I was hoping she would at least turn my way so I can wave and say "Hi". Also, I was wondering when she would pull out her mp3 player and switch track so maybe I can start out a convo about the player and music she's interest. I know kinda stupid. But she never did. After she left, I beating up on myself as to why I didn't have to guts to just tap on her shoulder and start a convo. Any comments, suggestions or criticisms are appreciated. I'm here to learn. Thank you.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The gym is the perfect environment for sexual equalization from a physical standpoint. In a club or at a party or any other social gathering our masks are on, we can hide deficits more easily with clothing, our inhibitions may be altered due to alcohol, etc. But in the gym all of that is out the window. Oh women attempt to hide their fat butts with sweat shirts tied around their waists, but everyone is sober - in fact we're in a better than normal state of awareness from the exercise - both sexes physical deficits and assets are out in the open. It's social Darwinism at its finest and both sexes strive for attention in some form or another. Guys can only rely on their physical prowess to impress since there's generally no way to judge a man's socio-economic status in the gym. Women are stripped to a primal physical competition where they're judged on their physical form which is men's primary criteria for mate selection. This is why you commonly hear women complain about 'hating' going to the gym; it has less to do with the actual exercise and more to do with an inability to cope with the intense competition present on a level that most are unacustomed to in other social environments. This is why there is such a market for 'women' only health clubs (such as Curves), in fact I've yet to encounter a men's only gym and I'd speculate that this is due to men experiencing far less intimidation in a gym setting.

Sorry, not your question I know, but I get this question a lot from guys, "should I approach in the gym?" and I feel it always needs some prefacing to really understand the incredible advantage, most guys have in the gym in this regard.

So, here's what you do on your next work out: Play with her a little bit, if she's seeking attention, give her just a taste here and there. Don't make the mistake of approaching if she's not giving you IOIs or AIs, women actually do go to the gym in order to get themselves in shape and may or may not want attention while their masks are off. It's the same principle as giving a girl compliments, less is more, but still do it as a treat. Make eye contact and hold it for just a pause longer than you normally would when the opportunity presents itself, but no more. Wait a bit longer, move on to a different machine and see if she pursues. If she does, ignore her. And I mean it, ignore her as if she weren't even there, until you're completely finished with your last set. Then, when the opportunity permits, make eye contact again, but this time smile. DO NOT go out of your way to "conveniently" use the machine next to her, she'll interpret that as an obvious approach and it's game off. Becareful here because this is the test, you have to do a little reading of her, but remember you have the advantge in the gym. Don't smile like Hannibal Lector, smile as if your Mom or sister had just said something funny to you. If all she wanted was your attention, she'll break off and move on to the next exercise. If she's genuinely interested she'll reciprocate with a smile too or some other sign that she's made a connection with you. Now, again, ignore her totally and go back to your workout regimen and put yourself into it. If you've made a connection she'll pursue and you're in, it's all your's at this point. To segue into an introduction, wait until she's on a machine or using some piece of equipment and feign a need to use it too. Suggest that you work in with her on a machine (important - obviously only do this on the only machine or equipment available at that time), then you're free to start the conversation from there. I'd even go so far as to try a 'neg hit' with her too. For instance try saying something like "If you're not done fooling around with that machine, can I work in with you?" Remember a neg hit isn't an insult, it's a challenge to show you're ****y & funny and confident. Keep in mind the whole time, you are at the advantage in the gym.

 

[DjNLes]

Damn RT! Thanks for the great info! Unfortunately, I think I screwed up because I did intention sit next to her when there were so many other bikes available. Also, she only does cardio and has her headphones on from the time she walks into the gym and 'til she walks out . If she did any weights I can ask you say work in with her but she doesn't. Also, she's like in the zone or something. Don't really pay attention to anyone and just look dead straight. It's very difficult to make eye contact with her. Guess this is a lost cause? Thanks for the reply man.

 

[amoka]

I suggest you try saying something to her few minutes after you started working out besides her. Yes, I know she got ear phone in her ear and may not hear you but after saying something, while looking at her, logic dictates she'll turn around and look at your direction. She may not take off the ear-phone at this time but after saying something again, she's more than likely to take off the earphone to hear what you have to say... you can continue your conversation from there....

 

[DjVelvet]

Try this simple trick. Yet to test but worth the try.

When you are doing your gym sets and repetitions, puff and pant (not in a weak manner) in a deep low-toned but enough volume to get her attention. (making her look at your direction).

Then when she looked over at you (In her mind... What's that heavy tone) You subtly look over and just give her a manly gentleman smile. Don't talk to her and continue your session.

Later just coincidently walk by her and chat up with her.

Good luck

Vel

 

[drZaius09]

The gym is the perfect environment for sexual equalization from a physical standpoint. In a club or at a party or any other social gathering our masks are on, we can hide deficits more easily with clothing, our inhibitions may be altered due to alcohol, etc. But in the gym all of that is out the window. Oh women attempt to hide their fat butts with sweat shirts tied around their waists, but everyone is sober - in fact we're in a better than normal state of awareness from the exercise - both sexes physical deficits and assets are out in the open. It's social Darwinism at its finest and both sexes strive for attention in some form or another.

Whoops! And here I am thinking I go to the gym to "workout." What a fool I have been.

Seriously, Rollo, don't take this the wrong way... I know you are one of the most intelligent, educated, and intuitive members of this board, and I don't disagree with what you wrote... but can't we do anything anymore without it turning into a crusade for sex? I really pity some of the posters here, as if their lives revolve around this one-dimensional quest for yet another sexual partner. There is so much more to life-- can't we just go to the gym to workout? Can't we just go to the supermarket to shop? Can't we just go to the bar to have a drink? Is any of this possible anymore?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

can't we just go to the gym to workout? Can't we just go to the supermarket to shop? Can't we just go to the bar to have a drink? Is any of this possible anymore?

Short answer, no. Because there are motivation for each of the actions you described whether you consciously recognize them or not. You shop because you need to eat, you drink because you need to relax and socialize, and you hit the gym because you want to look and feel better, yes, but with the expected result that someone will find you attractive and want to get after it with you, because you need sex. That's not to say you wouldn't exercise if that weren't the expected result (you could find some other intrinsic reward in it), but it is the core motivator.

The popular reaction to this is thinking that this behavior and the motivators for it are in some way indicators of being "shallow" or superficial. I'd argue that it's not, and that recognizing and understanding these motivators is healthier than entertaining some Zen rationale about them in order to protect oneself from the self-perception of being "shallow".

 

[DjVelvet]

Whoops! And here I am thinking I go to the gym to "workout." What a fool I have been.

Seriously, Rollo, don't take this the wrong way... I know you are one of the most intelligent, educated, and intuitive members of this board, and I don't disagree with what you wrote... but can't we do anything anymore without it turning into a crusade for sex? I really pity some of the posters here, as if their lives revolve around this one-dimensional quest for yet another sexual partner. There is so much more to life-- can't we just go to the gym to workout? Can't we just go to the supermarket to shop? Can't we just go to the bar to have a drink? Is any of this possible anymore?

You are not going to the gym, supermarket or bar delibrately just to sarge. Its like, when you see a really hot babe coincidently, you may just want to try your luck.

But i do know of friends whom delibrately go to those places for the sole purpose of sarging.. The point i think the great posters are trying to convey is that we should internalize the DJ concept and make it natural in our daily life. It may not neccessary mean to go to the above places for the SOLE purpose of sarging.

 

[CoolRunning]

I don't understand any of that stuff about us having the advantage at the gym. I've got a decent body, but the gym concentrates guys with great bodies, so I turn out being below average rather than above average.

 

[Latinoman]

we should internalize the DJ concept and make it natural in our daily life.

If you truly believe that being a DJ is about getting laid...then you are wasting your time. ANYONE can get laid. There more women out there than men.

Some of the best DJs are already married. In fact, men that have no use for "sarging". After all...if you want to make it "natural", then you don't need to sarge. In fact, you just go with your everyday life and oportunity arises based on that.

Being a DJ does not revolve about getting laid. Being a DJ is about getting the best of you out there. And with "out there" I mean; your job, your career, your intelect, your woman/women.

In my opinion...the gym serves ONE purpose: to improve your health and body.

In my opinion...the office serves ONE purpose: to improve your career and perform a service you are getting paid for.

In my opinion...the Church (if you are religious) serves ONE purpose: to serve your God.

None are "sarging" venues. Because sarging would take away from the important things in those three venues: your self-improvement.

I'm not a religious guy. However, I do take very serious my health/fitness and my job.

You see? To this day I don't understand how a person can follow a serious workout if that person lacks the focus and he focus is on the "hot babe" working out.

A DJ's life does not revolve around women. If your life does...then you are not a DJ. Plain and simple.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Exactly. Women are the by-product of a DJ mentality. So while I agree with LATINOMAN that going to the gym with the express purpose to sarge is not the right mindset, if you happen to sarge while you're at the gym and something results from it, then so be it. It's more a question of focus.

That's going to come off as contradictory to what I typed for ZAIUS, but keep in mind that our biological motivation aren't always compatible with holding to a DJ mentality, particularly when you add deprivation to the equation.

ESPI: NLP = Neurolinguistic Programing

 

[DjNLes]

Honestly, my goal of going to the gym is to improve my body. I understand what Latinoman is saying, but when an opportunity is there do you not take it?

Here's a little update. I was done with my workout friday night. I usually end it with abs. While I was doing abs on the exercise ball, I saw her stretching after her workout. However she still had her headphones on. I said fvck it and approached her. I tapped on her shoulder to get her attention. She took off her headphones and turned around kinda startled.

I said "Hi" asked her how she's doing and her name. She told me her name and I introduced myself. Then I told her I was actually trying to get her name the night before while biking next to her. But I didn't want to bother her cause she was so focused on her workout. She said "sorry" she didn't know, but i'm sure she knew. I think that was a stupid mistake on my part to even bring that up. I'm sure you Djs will agree. Then I proceed to ask her about her Mp3 player. Which gave me an opportunity to do what one poster suggested (thanks to that person). I asked her if it was working by having her headphones on to keep people from bothering her. I joke that I guess not cause i'm here. So we both just laugh. I didn't want to chat any longer so I said it was nice meeting her and enjoy the workout.

So fellow Djs please critique what I did right or wrong. Also, how should I proceed from here? I decided I was going to get her name that night which I did. So at least I accomplished that much. Thanks all.

 

[WestCoaster]

To add here, the gym is a tremendous place, IMO. One, exercise releases endorphins, which do a lot of good little things like heighten sexual attraction. Also, exercise gets the blood flowing, the heart pumping, and lots of other good physiological stuff going on, which makes one RELAXED.

Honestly, I've rarely seen a woman uptight at the gym. They're much more approachable.

One thing you have to do is YOUR WORKOUT and give the woman so-so attention. Keep doing your workout, and if you're doing weights, walk by where she is, chat her up, ask her about her workout. Go to YOUR next station, do some lifting, frequent by her. If you're on cardio, that's a lot trickier.

Talking about workouts is a good starting point. The problem as our initial poster noted is the whole MP3/Ipod/music stuff. This is where people shut out the world, so yes, address what she's listening to.

As in any situation, keep it light, funny, etc. Don't wait too long to ask her out, if she shuts your ass down, just smile and go back to your workout. Act as if your workout is a high priority.

The gym is ideal, way better than going to a loud club where women know they have the power over the heavily AFC male population. Men have the power (or at least they should) at a fitness center.

* As for thinking you made a mistake by tapping her on the shoulder or whatever, absolutely no freaking way. You approached, that's the big step. Everyone here thinks there is one or two ways to approach, one way to do things (only the Pook way), etc. No, the best way is what you're comfortable with. Don't be ashame and don't apologize for approaching a woman -- ever. There are many ways to run an offense in football, no one runs the exact same one. People are different, you approached, props for that. Keep approaching -- her, or others. And yes, keep going to the gym.

 

[WestCoaster]

Read today's main page article:

http://www.sosuave.com/

 

[warpy]

how about ask her to borrow the mp3 for a bit, then she'll have to come back to get it...

how about asking what kind of songs does she listen to.. she looks realy energetic on the bike.

make something up.. it doesnt matter, if you dont you'll regret it!

 

[DjNLes]

Thanks for the tips guys.

How do you counter if she say doesn't want to give you her number or if you ask her for coffee and she says "No"? Do you try again next time or just pass on this one? Do you even make an attempt of suggesting just being friends at all? Thanks.

 

[Latinoman]

Thanks for the tips guys.

How do you counter if she say doesn't want to give you her number or if you ask her for coffee and she says "No"? Do you try again next time or just pass on this one? Do you even make an attempt of suggesting just being friends at all? Thanks.

Whatever you do...don't suggest to be friends.

Suggesting to being friends AFTER showing a clear interest for her (and getting shut down) is a way of telling her, "Can I then be your girlfriend? Please???".

I would never emasculate myself for a woman...or anyone for that matter.

 

[DjNLes]

Good point Latinoman,

I actually dated this one chic for about 3 months. Then she decides to break it off and suggest that we be friends and further down the line that it would develop into something more. Needless to say I was disappointed cause it makes no sense. So I basically said either date or no friends. She got pissed. And I haven't talk to her since.

 

[Latinoman]

Good point Latinoman,

I actually dated this one chic for about 3 months. Then she decides to break it off and suggest that we be friends and further down the line that it would develop into something more. Needless to say I was disappointed cause it makes no sense. So I basically said either date or no friends. She got pissed. And I haven't talk to her since.

I was in a very touchie situation when I met my current girlfriend over a year ago. I had two choices: be 100% honest or lie. I took the honesty route and told her (after all, my girlfriend is older than me and I truly didn't care about the outcome).

She (as ANY woman with a level of common sense) didn't like the situation I was in. And I understood, because she would be taking a HUGE risk dating a man under the situation I was involved. So, she said something like we can just be friends and then when your situation gets better we can talk.

I told her {without smiling}, "I don't want to be your friend". She smiled at that and ended up giving me her digits and email. I didn't ask for either.

You see? If I want to laid a woman...I make that clear to that woman by simply NOT becoming her friend...and by either being direct or flirtisious. Friendship can always come later.

 

[warpy]

latinoman is right, dont suggest that.. infact i read about someone saying to a girl who said "we can be friends", he said : "sorry i dont need more friends".

make sure you have a few comebacks like "ah so you cant pay your phone bills, i dont think i want a girl's number whome i have to call her all the time because she is cheap, lol"

"ah, i see you are trying to make me buy you more than just coffee, sorry i am not a sugar daddy lol"

cheers.