Same thing over and over again.

[saizokano]

Hey guys,

I came to realize that when I am interested in a girl and try to go for her, it feels like she is not interested in me at all. That however didn't stop me from trying. Eventually, I lost interest in her. The problem is, they are only attracted to me after I have lost interest in them and start treating them like normal friends. This ain't the first time, it ain't the second nor the third. Have you guys ever experienced this kind of situation? If so is there anything I can do about it?

 

[DannykDJ]

Thats how life works. The things in life you want the most are always the hardest to obtain and you have to work to keep the things you don't want away from you.

You can apply this to everything in life. I used to want a car so badly. I worked and saved for about 2 years and still wasn't even close to the one I wanted so I eventually just said screw it and gave up. A few months later my dad bought me one out of no where as a present.

Women are the most obvious example of this. Thats why everyone constantly says don't chase women and don't care about them. They only seem to come to you when you don't want/need them.

2 months ago I got into a fight with my now ex gf. I lost my temper and insulted her really badly. She said she wanted us to take a break. Instead of agreeing and letting it go I called her about 10 times a day trying to make it work and pushed her away. Had I just apologized, and walked away I would bet a $100 she would have come back.

Moral of the story is that unless the payoff for something is directly related to the amount of work you put into, you shouldn't care about it and are wasting your time.

 

[SinJester]

Haha that's a great mentality, don't work for it and you will get exactly what you want!

Every heard of Mystery's cat string theory? Dangle a string in front of them and they desperately lunge at it and try to grab it but if you give it to them they just stare at it bored.

How about with the next girl you are interested it you and act the way that you do after you lose interest in them and they start getting attracted to you? I know it might be hard but that's probably the answer, try it!

 

[saizokano]

Haha, I appreciate your idea but the problem is, it's kinda hard to act uninterested when you're so into her you get what I mean? But of course, stupid of me to say that without trying though its gonna be hard. Sure hope I don't let history repeat itself again... after all it has happened way too many times and it's getting old.. hahah.

Peace out! =)

 

[SinJester]

Of course its hard This is actually an extremely common problem. Because we can be ourselves and relaxed around girls we aren't attracted to they are usually the ones who fall for us. It's a b!tch, I get it all the time.

The thing is if you keep doing the same thing you will get the same results. You need to be more comfortable around girls you are attracted to, or find some way so that you can keep your mindset and actions closer to how it is around your friends.

Right now when you are talking to a girl you are interested in you want her. You want something, you want to claim her. You might not see her as a person but an object. They can pick up on this and often don't like it. You become outcome dependant, you care too much, you end up in your hread and overthinking eveything. You end up not being yourself. See how it works?

But of course there might just be something wrong with your 'game'. I only suggest the above advice above because it seems you attract girls naturally when you are just being yourself.

Next time you are with a girl you are interested in reframe it and ASSUME she is interested in you. See how that works as well.