Same old, same old

[Dryden]

I'm currently in my early thirties still.

I guess my inner problems/issues/challenges have pushed my life in a direction that I very much do not like at all.

The biggest thing I don't like, is my self ;-).

It seems to get me in trouble all the time, and when it matters I cannot count on it .

This inner problem is the thing I have been trying to deal with, a large part of that is facing rejection in a real sense. It is easy to 'absorb' rejection when you are just fooling around and not even trying anything real. It is a bit harder when the thing you do can actually land you success.

It is said that people do not change by themselves, you change when you are forced to by life circumstances.

At a certain point the inner challenge you face (call it a seed of pain, or a weakness, or a pain spot) will prompt you to deal with it, or else. And you go and seek out a form of conditions that will bring out the best (or worst) of you. Because at a certain point the life experience you have and have had for that past no matter how many years, will become insufficient to you.

In other words... at a certain point you may feel you have tried everything you could that did not involve facing the thing in full and in earnest, and there is nothing left to do other than face this one thing face-to-face.

I guess that situation can repeat itself, or you may find yourself victorious at one point, but the thing can come back in a more difficult way. There is usually an intense fear (panic) keeping you away from doing that thing...

In other words, it is easy to ensure you get rejected, by your own actions. All of those things, those actions, are the things a PUA tries to avoid.

Or a man.

(continued.... this PC is not trustworthy)..

 

[Dryden]

In the Netherlands, people are actually quite shy. Approaching a girl (for example) is not something that is ordinarily done often.

I was recently at a train station and followed a brunette to her bench. I asked if it was alright if I sat down next to her. She didn't mind at all. Turns out she was not a Dutch person, but Canadian. And she told me she pretty much NEVER gets approached like that. Dutch guys don't do that. They don't do that thing. In this country, everyone basically fears being called a rapist for even talking to a girl.

I was scared to death while doing it, but still walked away alive and with a good experience, no matter how small. She related how much more talkative people are in Canada and the USA. Eventually I excused myself because it was too much for me, too much of an experience. Seriously. I told her how cute she was and I guess I didn't do very well in keeping the convo exciting and on-person. But she enjoyed every bit of it, or seemed to.

But I feel so cowardly. As a person. As a man. As a dude. I seriously think I am the most cowardly person in 3 different universes. There may be some who are more cowardly in a few other universes, but those are probably also me ;-).

I believe moments before in the train I was sat next to a very cute young girl. She sat opposed from me, these are these 4-man 'cubicles' with 2 by 2 seats next to each other. Opposed from each other, you know what I mean. I just couldn't help doing what I wanted to do, and I was scared to death also while doing it. I asked "where are you from" but she didn't hear because she was listening to music with plugs in. I waved my hand in front of her face, she unplugged, I asked her my question, she answered, I asked another, she answered, I said "nice" and looked away in a very shy way. Then I realized I was at my transit station and had to scramble out of the train .

I did a few more of such things that night, I guess.

Dead scared.

(Continued...)...

 

[Dryden]

Last night there was a cute, obedient / shy woman next to me and I showed her a bit of the anime I watch some times. There was actually a good moment to turn her chin towards me, kiss her cheek, and tell her I would actually (have) liked to spend the night with her, or crawl into her bed, that sort of thing. I didn't grab the opportunity because the place I am at... people can start yelling "abuse!" or "illegal" at the slightest junction of approach... And I will say that I risk action taken against me. Which involves things I do not consider nice experiences .

Which makes me feel even more cowardly.

In the sense of surviving by submitting. Being a good dog.

You do the trick they ask of you, you obey, you get rewarded.

Bah.

Well it sounds a bit like every person's life in this world to some degree. You stay safe by swallowing other people's sp-rm. That is pretty much what it comes down to. Most people are not allowed to fvck you in the normal way, so they fvck you in different ways, but you get fcvked anyway. And pretty much, if you do as you are told, you get to live a reasonably or pretty-much problem-free life.

(Continued....)

 

[Dryden]

Then, when you submit, don't rear your angry head as often, keep to yourself, don't interfere with other people's work (as they are making good puppy dogs of other people) they will say that they are proud of you, that you are doing well, that great things will come of you.

Ha.

I am going to have to continue with this later. I find myself going into side-trails or tangents that don't seem to be very relevant. I'm going to try to collect my thoughts and come up with something that is actually relevant for this forum.

 

[sodbuster]

What the he11? ALL the Dutch I know are Blunt, honest, stubborn, determined, and mean if you cross them. Of course, I'm talking about my family and friends who live in America. BUT my friend who emigrated from Holland is the same. He's banged over 60 women before and between his marriages. It SHOULD be within your ability to do all the things you are afraid to do.... unless you WANT to believe all the aggressive Dutch moved to Africa and America....

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Dryden,
Lots of Dutchies come here...Really good thrifty hard working people...Their Women are Big and beautiful,usually tall blondes...Be warned their Brothers will be waiting for you if they think you wronged their Sister!