Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Same activity for 1st and 2nd date?

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
Hey,

I recently went on a date with this exchange student who's going to be here for a few months(I study here). We live right next to each other (both have roommates tho), so we met there and walked 3km (~1.8 miles) to a bar in the city center. We spent there about half an hour and walked back to our houses. I got a kiss close and she said that she wanted to see me again.

Now a couple of questions:

1. Is it okay if I suggest her the same exactly date idea, because I've tried to think some action date, but I don't think bowling for example would be so entertaining, and hiking places are also pretty far away(I don't have a car.) At the first date we didn't have common activities which would've been optimal to have for 2nd activity.

2. Should I suggest her to come to my place after the date when we are separating between our houses or is it too soon, if say I get a kiss close again? Last time I was thinking about asking it, but she hurried and was already leaving(which to me told she doesn't even want to come or she was busy because she also said that she needs to get back to her house when we were at the bar, which was fine because I would've said it about the same time.)

The only thing that worries me a little bit with another walking/bar date is that we wouldn't have enough to talk about, because last time there wasn't really any silences. Also there wasn't any kino, because we were just walking and at the bar we were just sitting(of course you can implement kino even there, but I don't exactly know how because I haven't practiced any kino in real life practice).
 

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
Would you suggest going for a kiss when meeting and/or mid-date for setting up a right tone for the rest of the date? It could help getting more intimate with her as opposed to just kiss closing again at the end of the date.

Also, would you suggest meeting at the bar or again at our houses and walking there and back? I'm thinking this because I think that the "awkward silences" would not feel so uncomfortable when walking outside than when sitting at a bar(though she might then come there by bike...I prefer just walking so we could be closer and maybe even hold hands). But yeah, I'm a bit introvert myself so the silence doesn't bother me much personally, so I guess that's a good thing.

And lastly, this came to my mind when I was writing that second question; should you initiate holding hands or should it come for her? Or should you even do that at second date? Maybe a bit overthinking, but I like to hear your opinion on this and then in the real situation decide by gut feeling.
 
Last edited:

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
in my opinion, there is absolutely no reason to bend over backwards planning meetups. A drink at the same bar is absolutely fine for the second date.

listen 80% and speak 20%. One or two sentences about you then turn it back to her and ask something about her.

Also, I strongly encourage you to welcome and even embrace awkward silences and pauses in the conversation. This is an excellent time for her to show her interest in you. Let her revive the conversation. When there is silence in the conversation and you are willing to say absolutely nothing, you convey supreme confidence in yourself.
Ok so it's a rainy day, so walking is a no-go. Would you invite her over to your place or take a cab to the bar?
 
Joined
Sep 11, 2017
Messages
16
Reaction score
16
Age
42
Wow - you are really, REALLY over-thinking all of this.

But hey, in my early 20s I did the same thing. Here's the thing, guy: in the beginning, repetition is NOT your friend. So, taking her to the same place in the same manner trying to have the same kind of date with her that you had for the first one is not going to give her the impression that you're actually making an effort to impress her. No, you don't need to spend a lot of money or take her on a more expensive outing... just don't do the SAME outing. At the very least take her to a different bar.

Also, why not bowling? Most bowling alleys have food, bowling and arcade games, all things which women have fun doing. Again, you don't need to over-think this. The activity is less important that (a) showing effort and (b) getting to know her on these dates.

As for the invite to your place, stop putting all the pressure on yourself. A woman that wants to be intimate or close with you will find an excuse to invite herself into your place or her place. If you're wanting her to invite herself into your place, the key is to mention some cool thing you have in your place that would then give her the opening she needs to invite herself in to see it.

For example: if you have a cool picture, or lava lamp, or cooked a really great meal for "yourself," you could mention these things on a date. If she says something like "oh, that's cool, I'd love to see that/taste what you made," etc., THEN you can casually say "oh yeah? Cool, I'll show it to you real quick when we get back." That way it's IMPLIED she's coming into your place vs. having to awkwardly ask her to come in.

Lastly, kino: most dudes mess this up because they think you have to be the one to initiate touch. But most guys do this the wrong way, or touch her in places that make her uncomfortable. I find it better to leave yourself open for HER to touch YOU first, that way you know she's ok with the touch barrier being broken.

For example: if you're at the bar with her and sitting across from her, you can leave your arms out a bit on the table while she's talking to you. If at anytime she's telling a story and touches your arm to emphasize a point, BOOM! You know she wants to touch you. Or, if you find her walking a bit close to you and "accidentally" bumping into you, it's no accident.

You can also do the old "reading palm" trick, where you talk to her about the lines on her hand and what they mean for her lifeline. This gives you an excuse to hold her hand in a non-creepy way.

With all that said, though: you already broke the kiss barrier, which is the most touchy you can get sooooo I wouldn't worry too much about it - most likely, she'll be trying to touch you anyway.
 

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
Wow - you are really, REALLY over-thinking all of this.
Thanks for the answer, Mr Wilmington. It really helps. She texted me on the same day we were supposed to have the second date, that she had been feeling ill for a couple of days and asked if we could meet another day. I hadn't even texted her the time for our date, although it was almost 5pm haha. It was fine with me since I wasn't feeling too well myself that day. So I texted her "no big deal, text me when you feel better and we can get together then." Then she asked if I'm going to a student party that weekend, which to I answered that I'm leaving for another city for the weekend, so she suggested meeting next week. I'm planning on contacting her on Wednesday to set up a date for the weekend, if she hasn't contacted me before.

As for bowling, in here we have only one bowling place, which is only for bowling - no food, no arcade games, not even sure if they sell beer in there. And my experiences with bowling is that the first couple of throws are fun, but then it gets boring pretty quick. I do play disc golf occasionally, so maybe that would be better idea for action date.

If you're wanting her to invite herself into your place, the key is to mention some cool thing you have in your place that would then give her the opening she needs to invite herself in to see it.
Honestly, I don't have anything to show in this student accommodation. :D Except my 22-inch TV. Heck, we don't even have a kitchen table. Maybe she'll still find a way to invite herself over.

With all that said, though: you already broke the kiss barrier, which is the most touchy you can get sooooo I wouldn't worry too much about it - most likely, she'll be trying to touch you anyway.
Yeah, though it will be 2 weeks since last meeting, so the impact of that kiss may be a little decreased. To me, a kiss when meeting or mid-date would be good for getting the right vibe going.
 
Last edited:

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
Hey,

Now a couple of questions:

1. Is it okay if I suggest her the same exactly date idea, because I've tried to think some action date, but I don't think bowling for example would be so entertaining, and hiking places are also pretty far away(I don't have a car.) At the first date we didn't have common activities which would've been optimal to have for 2nd activity.
Get in the habit of bouncing places.

I like coffee. Naturally, I tell women to come.

Its cheap. Women usually pay. Its always convenient for whatever comes next.

2. Should I suggest her to come to my place after the date when we are separating between our houses or is it too soon, if say I get a kiss close again? Last time I was thinking about asking it, but she hurried and was already leaving(which to me told she doesn't even want to come or she was busy because she also said that she needs to get back to her house when we were at the bar, which was fine because I would've said it about the same time.)
Did you kiss already?

Look, I prefer to get slapped which to this day has never happened. Rollo says rejection is better then regret. Not kissing is stupidity as is low sex drive. Its a tell tale of disinterest and moreover incompatibilities on her part. I am sexual. **** me or **** off is my approach. Three date rule. If not sexual in said time frame, #nextset!

The kiss is naturally a common thing. Its not to be a big deal nor is going for it.

Cultivate being "that guy." He shoots he scores!

"You miss 100% of the chances you don't take." - W.G.

This isn't ten game. Its basic as ****kkk.

Bounce to three places. Location is irrelevant. Its as simple as, its beautiful out, "let's go here (locations is irrelevant). Its about acquisition of compliance.

I lead. She follows or next!

More important, you are being the man, and in a cuck fest society, its not easy. Nothing great is.

Note, its baby steps. Its seeding the pull. Its just very set is practice! Its not the super bowl or game 7 of 7 NBA finals.

You spin plates. You calibrate. You pull. You tell women you want to nut on their face and declare her my gf. Its a line. Its irrelevant but, its again about being bold as ****kkkk.

You will acquire that million dollar mouth piece. That gift for gab. Its all spinning plates, pulling, going out, and getting more girls. Its nonstop. There is no end. Monogamy is fantasy and a cute narrative to keep cratered SMV from going hungry along with bastard children.

The only thing that worries me a little bit with another walking/bar date is that we wouldn't have enough to talk about, because last time there wasn't really any silences. Also there wasn't any kino, because we were just walking and at the bar we were just sitting(of course you can implement kino even there, but I don't exactly know how because I haven't practiced any kino in real life practice).
Learn games. Learn tactics. I have some I draw. Its interactive. Next you are touching and messing around.

In high school, it was drawing the house whereby you cannot go over the same line. I would let her fail a few times. Next, I am holding her hand and leading her to the finish line. She's writing "kiss me" and next her grandma is walking in on us doing the no pants dance.


Create your body own moves. Stop walking on egg shells. Every set is practice.

Spin plates. Let some drop. More important, keep spinning.

Monogamy is for cucks.
 

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
Also, would you go by bike or walk with her, if the distance is 2-3 miles (3-5km)?
 

Chi Town

Banned
Joined
Sep 12, 2018
Messages
665
Reaction score
691
Age
30
Like the other guys said OP, stop thinking so much into this, just go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may, relax. Stop worrying about the "right" thing to do And just whatever you want, follow your first gut instinct, it's usually right.
 

Murk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 17, 2017
Messages
4,321
Reaction score
3,233
Age
35
Location
London
Bro it's date 2, fvck bowling, fvck bike riding, hiking, moon gazing. Save that for a girl you care about.

You take her for a drink, see if you connect, see if you can bang. Then you do it again.

Last date I went on 3 weeks ago this girl was meant to finish work early Friday same as me and meet in the city at 4pm for drinks. She cancels/pushes it back, says her dad has an operation and she's finishing late. Any operation in a hospital you get notice, so this girl was telling me her dad is in hospital having an op for what reason? This is exactly why I don't first date on weekends - gives them the chance to ruin a weekend. I go to my local pub with friends and tell her to come, she complains "this isn't a proper date" I said well you longed the whole thing out was I supposed to wait at home for you to eventually get your **** together?

Stupid ***** honestly these girls are so entitled, I give them bare minimum I'm not playing games. If you don't give them much, they can't take advantage and play you, yeah you might scare some away, fvck them. I rather scare 5 away then go home feeling like an absolute cretin because b!tch played me for a fool, they all take advantage as much as they can.

Anyway I'm ranting, keep it short sweet and inexpensive and alcohol fuelled.
 
Last edited:

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
Business as usual. Bring an umbrella and be on time and have two seats secured at the bar. Test her willingness by letting her show up at the bar 100% unassisted on your part.
So you're suggesting getting there by ourselves, not together? We live right next to each other.
 

Goksjrr

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2016
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
She texted me on the same day we were supposed to have the second date, that she had been feeling ill for a couple of days and asked if we could meet another day. It was fine with me since I wasn't feeling too well myself that day. So I texted her "no big deal, text me when you feel better and we can get together then." Then she asked if I'm going to a student party that weekend, which to I answered that I'm leaving for another city for the weekend, so she suggested meeting next week. I'm planning on contacting her on Wednesday to set up a date for the weekend, if she hasn't contacted me before.
Update: I texted her on Wed if she would be free on Thur or Friday at around 8 and she said that on Thursday she's going to her friend's birthday party, and on Friday she has dance class at that time, and then asked if I'm going out on Sat. To me, it feels that her IL has gone low and therefore would prefer meeting at a party where she has her friends there. I'm thinking of going NC on her. What do you guys think?

Edit: I found out that she has a boyfriend back in her home country, which she hasn't told me(she'll stay here 5-6 months). So maybe it could also mean that she doesn't want to get too serious, and hence wants to meet more casually at a party so there would be an excuse of an alcohol filled party hookup, which could then lead to more of a casual dating. After the first date and kiss close, she contacted me first, three days after, and after the kiss she also said that she wants to meet me on the same weekend, to which I didn't say anything and didn't even contact her later about that. So there has certainly been somewhat of an interest before.
 
Last edited:
Top