sageproduct's senior year field reports.

[dj_china]

your party needs more people

 

[sageproduct]

Saturday, November 28, 2009

A Football Game

Some people from my school take a road trip to see a football game. its about a 2 hour drive, and I'm riding in the car that my good friend Carl J is driving. Also in the car is a girl and guy who are going out, Mildred M who I've been friends with for a while, and Binny K. I'm pretty sure Mildred M and the other girl have heard from people that Binny K and I "have a thing" and it's real gay they like planned for me and Binny K to be riding in the back together and use the lamest excuses. I see right through it but just go along.

Car ride there
Even though it was coincidence that Binny K and I were riding in the same car (i actually really preferred NOT to be spending so much group time with her), I just decided to game her like usual. I started out being my normal self with her, making conversation, being C & F and getting good kino in. However, she appears to be very unresponsive. Doesn't really keep conversations going, shows me closed body language. I got really bored with this quickly so I started talking to the two girls in the row in front a lot more. I started up some games like Snaps and Black Magic and Binny K doesn't even make an effort really to play and it ends quickly.

I get kind of fed up so I just pay Binny K a lot less attention. For the first hour of the ride I was real social, mainly with the girls in front of us. Then everybody quieted down for the rest of the ride.

Pretty much every single time I talked to Binny K on the way there I had initiated the conversation. She was just very unresponsive and boring to me.

Connection? Trend?
Weird thing is, like over a month ago I had went with the girls tennis team to watch state and it was pretty similar. I sat next to Binny K and she was unresponsive. That was the same day that I had nexted her before (and I only had her in my "sights" at ALL because I felt she was interested in me) because she was so dead, boring, and seemingly uninterested. And one week later, that happened to be when she tricked me into being alone with her at her house with no parents home and I had no idea what was going on and blew the kiss.

The actual game
I was very social here and talking to and kinoing lots of girls once we got to the game. I was real excited to see a buncha people I knew. My little group was also walking by the big popular group when I saw some people in there that I talk to and decided to just go in there and talk for a bit. I left my group without a word.

It was actually pretty funny, I just joked around with some guys in there who are ****ing hilarious. They talked about how they just found out I had a sister and started making a buncha sexual jokes (typical sister ones). A month ago I would have just froze up, but it literally did not bother me a single bit and I just nodded, smiled, and went right along with them.

During the game I stood in between a few good guy friends and Binny K was in the row in front of me. I don't think I talked to her the whole game. I talked to my friends the whole time and she talked to her friends the whole time. At one point she turned and asked a typical ignorant female question about football, and i HATE talking about football at all with any female so I didn't respond immediately but my friend did.

Car ride home
When we got to the game, she announced she wanted shotgun on the way home so she could select music. She did this on the way home and I went back all the way to the back again.

When we got home we went to Mildred M's house and some other people came. I was being fairly social but once again happened to be away from Binny K most of the time and really didn't interact with her at all for about the entire hour we were there. Plus when I was leaving to go home it was one of those awkward goodbyes from hangouts when people are really paying attention to something and dont notice you leaving. So I just shouted out "bye" to no one in particular and left.

Binny K-cold, hot, definitely COLD right now.
Hasn't texted me at all today, when she had done so every day for like the last two or three weeks. This doesn't bother me at all though, because honestly my IL in her has been pretty low this whole time and it dipped again yesterday when she bored me. Also, I kind of discovered that we don't really connect or share much. By no means have I ever had an awkward convo or awkward moment (besides my failed kiss...lol) with her, but all the source of her laughing was me being C&F and a couple inside jokes I had set up. I feel those inside jokes on the tail end of their life span right now...

I am actually a little glad of this right now, I kind of feel free a little actually...not sure why.

 

[sageproduct]

Monday, November 30, 2009

Just didn't really feel that sure of myself today, don't know why...got tired sometimes and didn't feel that social all the time.

Math Class
We got new seats maybe like 3 weeks ago. Mine is in the back of the room, to my left is a real popular guy, in front of me is a big girl from Germany, and to my right is a blonde who's kinda cute.

Somehow, I managed to NOT make contact with either of these girls in the first three weeks of having this new seat...I have excuses but I'll let go of them. Today I finally interacted with both of them for a little bit. The class leaves very little opportunities for socialization, but I gotta work on both these girls. Neither are in my social circle so even if I don't get anything out of them it would be good for social expansion.

Psychology
Me and this kid switch seats every other day to confuse the teacher, but I keep doing it for one reason and one reason only: he sits in front of one of the hottest girls in our grade. She's had a bf since freshman year, but w/e. She's one of the few girls that are HB 9-10's that I interact with, so I got stuff to learn. This ***** KNOWS she's hot too. She talks extra slow, flirty, and makes sure she sounds like one of those dumb *****es who are begging for ****.

Every once in a while she'll touch me a bunch on the back or something. So far, I haven't done much good. Haven't really talked to her or made her laugh. The only positive thing is I haven't been her *****. She's asked me to do a bunch of things like move and other stuff and I give her a hard time. Also, when she asks me questions I don't give her straight answers. I have never been able to have a real conversation with her though, she talks soooooo dumb its basically hard for me to talk to her.

English
I sit with Millie M (longtime friend, has been pissed at me for the last month or so for gayass ****) and we usually talk the whole time. She's been kind of a b!tch lately but got a lot better today. She responded positively to all the jokes I made, and I kind of think I might have been teasing her a bit too much before or hit a sensitive spot or was just joking about the wrong things over and over today.

She asked me "So what's going on between you and Binny K?" and I immediately responded "I don't talk about that." She kind of persisted a little more but I deflected, without humor but still successful deflection.

Petunia S (hot past one-itis who I asked to hc last year)
Basically my situation is I'm kind of trying to **** her but don't care if I fail. This whole school year I've been trying to work myself out of the friendzone by making myself unavailable to her, practicing C&F and kinoing her, NOT doing things she asks me to do, turning it around by asking her to do a bunch of BS favors, even overdoing it (when i started on this site) by ignoring her approaches and being a jerk to her.

Asked another favor from her today by borrowing a pencil in social studies. Gave her the last of my peanuts as a reward (she usually asks for some every day and I decline almost every day).

Hope for success, but....bottom line is she's very prude. Oh well, nothing to lose.

 

[sageproduct]

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Clement M

It's kind of strange. This girl literally has no friends. She hangs out occasionally with my group but everyone seems to think she's weird. She's actually pretty good-looking, though. To me, she doesn't seem socially deficient at all and is actually kind of flirty and kinoes quite a bit. Everyone in my group avoids her though, and my friend Carl J HATES her. Idk why.

I see her every once in a while at school and we make pretty decent conversation usually and kino each other. Talked to her for a bit, she wanted to meet me somewhere before this assembly we had but I didn't want to wait there so I just told her to find me later, which was pretty much impossible.

Anyway, guess I should make alone plans with her, escalate (hopefully), and keep it down low of course...

Binny K (first kiss)

Saw her very briefly in the hall today. She was looking really weird so I touched her arm as we walked by and said "You look sooo tired" and she laughed.

C&F Notes
I think I may have bogged myself down a bit in the recent past by trying to make every single thing I say C &F. I guess this just gets annoying and repetitive so I'm gonna lean more towards the philosophy of "sprinkle in C&F to let it do its magic". Since I have a better understanding of how a man acts, I think my judgement now is better on when to use it.

 

[sageproduct]

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Overall Sociability
I was tired today, but I seem to have a little issue. I just have trouble jumping into a conversation when I see a couple people I know or just interrupting people when they are talking. I don't know why. I think it's because I personally hate when people jump into a conversation and interrupt, so I overconsciously make an effort to do the opposite.

Millie M (long time friend, was mad at me for stupid stuff)
My best talking of today. Talked to her interrupted for like half an hour about stuff...but I think I did a good job of balancing normal talk, C&F, and a sprinkling of "being great".

Lately I've been paying more attention to the guys who've got game and trying to see what they do. I've noticed that when they interact with girls, their humor isn't even necessarily good. It's even ****ty sometimes. But they're ALWAYS completely unpredictable, messing around with the girl and making them guess what they're going to do next. Lately I've been getting better at doing C&F and having a feel for it but it's almost always the same stuff. I need to change it up and become more unpredictable.

I think this is the next part of my game that I need to work on. Just being unpredictable and making the girl hang on every word and action that comes out of me. This, and getting over approach anxiety (still...i still feel weird doing it in a school setting) and setting up the "let's hang out" talk.

Petunia S (hot, prude past one-itis and LJBF that rejected me to hc last year)
I pretty much only talk to her if she approaches me. Which isn't that often, and I approach her extremely rarely. Maybe like once every 8 times we interact. I even ignore her approaches sometimes. Right now, the BEST dynamite would be interacting with other girls in front of her...I've done that a little last month but it's nowhere near as much as I could be getting in.

Failed sh!t test w/petunia S
After the class we have together, I left a little before her so she was behind me. Neither of us were walking with anyone. I knew she was behind me but didn't wait for her. She came up to my left and said
"Hi."[or somethin like that]
me: (put my hand on her back briefly, under her neck) "Hey Petunia S, how are you" or somethin
her: "Why did you touch me?"
me: instantly dumbfounded at how to answer this. I stop looking at her and look at where i'm walking instead. i probably looked down too. "Why did I touch you?"
her: "You're weird, sageproduct."
me: (immediately) "You're weird."
I guess I saved it there, but it wasn't done well at all. I've never prepared myself for this test, so I gotta come up with a response. Any ideas? I remember on the spot I was trying to think of a way to turn it around on her but....I reached out with my hand and touched her. I couldn't think of anything.

I went on to make fun of her for knowing so little about football, she tried to prove her knowledge but was WRONG, i corrected her (she tried to tell me 'shotgun' was a type of play) as we were heading different ways.

Other Awkwardness...
I get bored real easily. If I've talked to a lot of people in a day, I get especially sick of saying "Hi" and "How are you" as an opener. Then if there's nothing else that's witty, I just stare and don't say anything. Pretty awkward. Just something weird that I need to get over.

Also, today I was trying to work on probing through making conversation-provoking comments instead of asking questions. I found that my brain is like wired for asking probing questions, which is a good thing I guess, but I could improve so that I'm not interviewing someone.

AMOG
My last class of the day has 2 ugly girls in it, and the rest are all guys. Some with HUGE egos here, and some really popular guys too. This is where I study amoging.

Basically there are 2 main guys I study. They happen to be my least favorite people in the class cuz they're plain arrogant and I've always had a problem with that. The things they do right tho, they can talk endlessly about nothing and look like they know exactly what to do in any situation. They're always on top of what goes on. One of them seems to know at least a little about ****ING EVERYTHING. And if he doesn't, he'll pretend like he does. Also, he seems to be able to make people care about what he says. Today he went around the whole room literally bragging to everyone about how he won some supreme court case in a previous class, but he was able to do it without seeming ****y. These guys don't take ANY bs. Their comebacks are instant and dangerous. Something I've always needed work on....the going along with the hit thing works if you don't know what to say and shows you're unaffected, but I did start to get a little sick of saying "yeah i'm a *****."

Some Plans...
Today I realized that our school has a volunteer club that would be good for me to be a part of for many reasons. I met a popular kid I talk to there, and we signed up together for a volunteer event next Tuesday. In many ways, I try to think of what he would do in a situation as a DJ cuz I actually really like who he is and he's definitely got game (gone out with 3 bombshells in the last 3 years).

Also, there's some event a week from sunday in the morning that I signed up for. The shift has a max of 6 people working and when I went to sign up 2 were on the list so far; some random kid and a really hot popular girl that I've talked to. So I signed the **** up.

 

[sageproduct]

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Only noticeable things from the last few days...
-a girl i've been talking to in 2 of my classes. she's the athletic type who could be pretty good looking if she wore anything other than athletic stuff or a hoodie. friday at the end of our walk through the hallway i said "We're going bowling this weekend," and she looked immediately excited and said "can we really?" to which I responded. "Yes. sunday. I'll let you know."
Faith L
I met her over the summer. She already knew who I was (good things about me) and we happened to be hanging out at the same girl's house that day. I happened to bring my guitar, played for everyone, Faith L immediately started talking to me, asked for my number and offered me a ride home.

Even in those days I knew these were some big IOIs. We hung out a few times after that and I was convinced she liked me. We saw a movie alone (I didn't make a move....) and then I found out she was in a 9 month relationship (and later that she had been on a "break" when we met) and was shocked cuz the AFC in me was completely convinced she liked me.

Couple days ago I noticed on facebook that she's now single. We've seen each other only a couple times since the summer, but it should be really easy for me to make plans with her....

Betty L (crazy slut who i used to be 'best friends' with)
Fwck.
I was at home tonight cuz i had a sh1tload of stuff to do. I came across my turnabout pics with betty L from last year. I texted her saying I had something to show her. She came over about an hour later, and I had my hopes up for some action. I was seriously pretty horny.

I brought out the best game I had. I should have known from the beginning it was a lost cause. Even though she agreed to hangin with me alone, she rarely kept eye contact and if we did she wouldn't hold it. When I kinoed her, she didn't kino back. I tried everything I could to make the conversation sexual. She always steered it away. Every trick I could think of didn't work. Should have known that I had already buried myself in the friend zone years ago. I tried to talk about kissing, hookups, whatever. Tried to make the talk dirty. When I talked about girls and women I thought were hot it didn't have any effect on her. Lol I tried to get in the most sexual positions I could think of too but she didn't make anything of it. I laid down on my bed cuz we were in my room and she stayed sitting in a chair. She was texting and I made fun of her for looking like she was taking a picture of my crotch. She laughed it off un-flirtily. Hour and a half later, I drove her home. Fvcking waste of 2 hours, some gas, and my dad getting mad at me for driving late.

 

[sageproduct]

Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Nothin really happened yesterday and I was terribly busy so I didn't post.

Winnie M
I've posted about her a few times but haven't named her yet. She's the REALLY hot girl who's had the same bf since freshman year and she acts like a huge dumb slut. Mainly I'm just getting some hot girl practice with her cuz most of the girls I interact with aren't as hot as her.

She kinoes me quite a bit when I'm around her, but I'm pretty sure she does this to most guys. Since she's so hot, I really tweak how I interact with her. Literally NO direct answers, agreeing with what she's saying, or being forward. Just being difficult and seemingly unfazed by her looks.

I sit in front of her half the time in one class, and today she started rubbing my back randomly and calling for my attention. I immediately called out to some guy across the room and gave him a random compliment. She hated this and literally YELLED for me to turn around. This whole school year, I've been VERY unresponsive to her, even cold and downright jerk-y when I was still trying to understand C&F. When I finally turned around, she asked me about this 2nd grade girl I coached over the summer and I was genuinely excited that she knew her. We talked a bit, then class started.

I then saw her again randomly in the counseling center, and as I was approaching from the side to wait in line behind her she turned around and just said really loudly, "WHAT" which kind of surprised me but I just said "WHAT" right back. She caught me off guard by snatching my transcript forms right out of my hand, which of course I should make it difficult to do. We then had a quick BS convo where I just made sh1t up. I felt real comfortable in what I was saying the whole time, which was a good improvement.

Petunia S (hot kind of crazy past one-itis LJBF who I'm working push n pull on)
With the hot n cold I'm working on her right now, I think I'm doing a little too much cold. Being unresponsive in general and kinda holdingmyself above her is all good but now I need it to actually go somewhere. During lunch she randomly gave me a chewy bar so I rewarded her with some peanuts that she asks for every day (that I usually don't give to her).

Also, talked about hot girls in front of her during lunch. Yes.

Binny K (first kiss)
Almost forgot to include her...it's all pretty much gone. My interest in her wasn't even that high, but I'm pretty sure I know why she turned cold. Over Thanksgiving Break, bad things happened in a row (keep in mind though i'm pretty sure she had a pretty high IL in me before):
Wednesday: asked her to come over when no one was home...she made fun of me for inviting a girl alone and then said shed feel bad for leaving her family
Thursday: was thanksgiving
Friday: my party that sucked ass. she was the first one there and I was kind of ignoring her. It was also when I kissed her in front of people as part of a game...was probably pissed too after I made everyone hide from my mom. As she was walking out I was waiting for her to stand still so I could kiss her but she said my breath smelled (like alc).
Saturday: road trip. I happened to be in the same car as her, which I would have liked to avoid but she thought the opposite way that I had specially arranged to be with her. Group. Time. Sucks. at least for me. i get too distracted by my friends to pay attention to the girl. was pretty much the last time i talked to her except seeing her randomly at school.

Also, the week before that week I hung out with her twice while only doing short kisses at the end of each session. PLUS after one of them I made a horrible C&F attempt gone wrong that ended up with me saying that I was gonna ask my dad how big his dong is....yeah wtf. Definitely ruined the moment cuz her eyes were closed as we were pulling away.

 

[sageproduct]

Assessing My Situation, Planning For The Futre

So I just realized that the last few weekends I've been extremely socially. I've hardly made an effort at all to make plans with people. I've been waiting for people to contact me and not doing anything if no one does. I got tricked into thinking this means I have high value, when in fact it just means I'm not outgoing enough.

Bottom line: be outgoing. Make plans with people. And most importantly: KNOW what the fun stuff to do is!!! Be creative and come up with ideas for good hangouts.

Girls

I've also realized now that I've wated too much time just "practicing" my DJ skills...well I feel like I've much improved my base in confidence, humor, sociability...so now it's time to make some use of it. Here's a list of all the girls who have any prospect potential right now (in no particular order):

Sherman C-really athletic girl. could be pretty good looking if she actually wore something other than athletic wear and hoodies and stuff with her hair tied up. im gonna make plans to go bowling with her, probably sunday.
Petunia S-hot b1tch. known prude (yep, i'm setting myself up for a fall...but whatev.), control/attention wh0re, really smart academically. past one-itis and LJBF as of now. sits at my lunch table. rejected me last year when i asked her to hc.am working push n pull on her. gotta make pseudo-date active plans with her.
Faith L-goes to a different school. I met her over the summer literally by playing guitar. Just got out of a 9 month relationship like a week and a half ago. pretty cute and just a really nice girl. gonna make plans with her (we promised each other that we'd see Where the Wild Things Are back when it came out)
Paula H-girl i see every once in a while at school. really nice but always wears hoodies. something about her personality REALLY intrigues me. gonna see if we can do some volunteer event together cuz that's her type of thing.
Winnie M-HOT HOT girl. has had the same bf since freshman year. I'm not even trying to do anything with her because I really like her bf and respect him. My goal is just to hang out with her cuz that would be cool. instead of making plans with her though, since she's a big time HB i gotta work to it in convo.
Mel K-random junior girl who started fb chatting me that one day about some paper in a class that we both have but during different periods. never met her, but it basically ended up set up that i "owe" her ice cream. so pretty much a pseudo-date...

Basically, I'm not sure if this really is a good list. The main reason being that most of these girls are prudes, most likely. Faith L I know has experience sexually, and Winnie M of course but she isn't really on this list in the same way. I know I should be focusing on just trying to get some hookups right now, maybe some FBs but it just happened to turn out that all of these girls are more gf type, except Petunia S (and even she should be but I personally don't like her personality) and Winnie M. Here's how they rank in hotness:
Winnie M (9-9.5 and acts like a 10)
Petunia S (8-9. she would be ridiculously hot if she dressed up)
Faith L (7.5, definitely in the 'cute' category as she is short)
Paula H (7-8. she's actually pretty attractive but i've never seen her not wear a hoodie)
Sherman C(7-7.5. athletic.)
Mel K (haven't even met her in person)

the more relevant factor is prudeness. gonna rank them in this aspect from best to worst too...not gonna rank Winnie M
Faith L-I know she'll actually do stuff, her school is much less prude than mine and i can sense it, i'm pretty sure i'm right.
Sherman C-she's athletic, so she should be more open to experiences...pretty sure she's never had a bf.
Petunia S-word got around that she made out with the black guy who took her to prom last year. i couldn't believe it. HOPEFULLY after i'm done with her she'll be different...hehehe
Paula H-just seems to be really religious. when we talked once way back about hangin she tried to get me to go to her youth group.
Mel K-no idea since i haven't met her. to take a guess tho, i'd probably have to rank her better than Sherman C but not as good as Faith L.

 

[sageproduct]

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Today, I acted a little more "nice guy" than I have for a while. Didn't feel as sure of myself as I usually do.

Sherman C (athletic girl)
Didn't even realize it until about an hour ago, but she's actually been on my mind quite a bit the last few days. Gotta use the tactic of thinking about all the other girls on that list anytime she gets on my mind to fight one-itis.

I forgot that yesterday when we were walking in the hall she said she really wanted to go ice skating and that she had never gone before. I was leaving her to go to my class, but I kinda said like "Oh we'll go sometime" or something like that. I was gone before I even saw her reaction.

Walked with her again today in the hall. It was kind of weird because she kept making some really strained face and said she wasn't feeling good. BongDuy's recent field report about cheering up a girl came to my mind immediately but I wasn't able to do it. Instead I ended up asking her what was wrong. She said nothing. Then told me to go to the counseling center with her and for some reason I just agreed to. Most days, I wouldn't have gone with her but I guess today I was just a little weak and I said "ok".

We got there, and she realized she had something to do there, leaving me late to class without a pass. As I was walking away, we held eye contact and she said "sorry" twice. I just had no idea how to respond so I don't think I said anything. Actually I just said like "I'll be fine" or something gay like that. whatever.

Goin to her bball game tonight, they're playing a team that's 10-0 and it's supposed to be a huge game with quite a bit of people going. Yesterday I told her to let me know how the game goes cuz I'm gonna have to leave early.

Petunia S
I've been talking to her very little. Today in our class together we were free to do some work on our own so I was just chillin in the front talking and laughing with a couple guys. She was workin with some people in the back and called for my attention a couple times. Since I wasn't really on top of myself today, I didn't really use it to help me really. She was reminiscing about a funny teacher we had together freshman year and I just agreed and laughed along.

Weekend Plans
HAVE to start actually making plans. sunday morning i'm volunteering with a really hot yet REALLY stuck up girl. saturday...i could do quite a few things. i could set up a pseudo-date with Petunia S, ice skating or bowling w/Sherman C (but she might be busy during the day), or either see that movie with Faith L or another type of hangout with her. maybe workout together. Also, sunday I could text Mel K to go and get ice cream with her that I "owe" her. just realized that she had initiated almost every convo with me and might think that i'm 'rejecting' her by not initiating also (i read somewhere that girls view this as rejection...)

 

[eaglez1177]

Yo sage sry i havent been able to keep up but if you ever need some advice or want me to look at sumtin important just shoot me a pm

goodluck

 

[sageproduct]

eaglez no worries man, your time is valuable and i am deeply grateful for every second you have spent helping me.

Thursday Update
Sooo basically I went to Sherman C's bball game and they got destroyed. the other team was f_cking amazing. I had to leave early.

Around 1030 when I got home, I went on fb chat and Sherman C was online. I started talking to her and using personal judgement I decided this was not a time to use c&f or any of that stuff...I remember one article that talked about knowing when to be the "bad boy" and when to be "great", or else you'll just demonstrate immaturity.

I gotta be careful. I was a little lax in keeping my mind under control today and let my IL in Sherman C soar. I wouldn't say it's one-itis right now but it's a threat, so I gotta be alert and in control of myself. What kinda scares me is I feel like my attraction to her is in no way sexual...the feeling I get when I think of her is that I just really want affection from her. Which sounds really b1tchy, needy, and un-manly. Gotta remember to be a man...and one who needs a woman to feel good and loved is not a real man.

 

[sageproduct]

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Fwck yeah.

Introducing a new girl
Erin S
HB 9. Attitude. ****y. Stuck-up a little bit. Really popular.
Had a class with her last year so we knew each other. Didn't leave the best impression on her as an AFC of course. Maybe I'm changing that though...

This Morning
Did this volunteer thing at school and the other two people who were signed up for it were Erin S and some other freshman kid who was actually pretty cool. Started out just all sitting at a table doing absolutely nothing. Pretty boring and I was tired from waking up early and a tad wimpy I would say.

Talked to Erin S a bit. Nothing good, just a little fluff talk. Then we saw people with food walking by so I asked her to get McD for me. She came back 20 min later with it and said "I could have gotten more but I don't have your phone number" and I should have JUMPED on this. But I wasn't on top of my game and didn't.

In the first half of the session, I basically didn't really do much but I just made sure to not be AFC by following her, being clingy and "too nice". I was more just acting indifferent to everything.

Then I started getting a little better. We were walkin around n stuff, she stopped to talk to a really popular football player and I talked to him a little and even joked around with them. Then we watched some dance routines cuz we were volunteering at a dance competition and I made her laugh a couple times.

With about half an hour left I finally was able to kino her a couple times. We talked a little about piano, which we found out last year we were both really good at and did all the same stuff. Then she said we should come back to watch a couple of the afternoon performances and I made sure not to be too eager by saying "I'm probably gonna be busy" (she laughed at this, idk why) "but maybe".

Last few minutes, we talked about colleges a little bit and I was real playful by now. I mentioned how I'm going to apply to a college because there are 2000 more girls than guys (actually kinda serious...lol) and she laughed at that. Then she mentioned her bf about something (he's in college) and then said "well ex-bf, i don't even know..." and I didn't press.

By now I was planning my exit and thinking of a way to get her number that isn't chumpy cuz well, she's hot and she knows it. So I said, "Are you coming back in the afternoon to watch?" she said maybe so I said, "If you are can you give me a ride?" And she said maybe and asked for my number. I got hers too and left, saying I have stuff to do. Cool.

Sherman C
So all those "soft" emotions I was feeling about her thankfully kinda went away over the weekend as I was occupying myself with stuff. On Friday we were walking together in the hall and for some reason I just wasn't able to say like "We're going bowling this weekend" cuz I already said that last weekend or "we're going ice skating" cuz that one convo we had about it died down way too quickly. Ah should have just said "hang out"...it's not too hard. damn.

Mel K (girl i "owe" ice cream to)
Haven't talked to her in weeks, or even met her in person at all. But she was initiating all our convos before so I kinda wanna just text her saying it was time for me to 'pay up' or whatever. And don't worry when we were talking online and texting I way overdid the c&f and stuff so just this me paying her back thing won't be too chumpy.

Body Language
I had read one of those posts about it a little while ago and I think it's helped me a TON. The most basic thing I've been doing is just to make sure that my body is 'open' and I'm taking up as much space as I can. Slow, purposeful body movements also. Not only does this project confidence, I actually FEEL more confident doing it too. I'm definitely sure this helped today.

Also, lol idk if this is just me being weird but to make sure that I'm acting like a sexual being, I'll actually like point my crotch at a girl or like open my groin towards her. Not like in a weird way but just like leaning back, facing a girl and spreading my legs when I'm sitting down or leaning back, bringing my pelvis forward when I'm standing.

 

[eaglez1177]

time to digest

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Fwck yeah.

Introducing a new girl
Erin S
HB 9. Attitude. ****y. Stuck-up a little bit. Really popular.
Had a class with her last year so we knew each other. Didn't leave the best impression on her as an AFC of course. Maybe I'm changing that though...

This Morning
Did this volunteer thing at school and the other two people who were signed up for it were Erin S and some other freshman kid who was actually pretty cool. Started out just all sitting at a table doing absolutely nothing. Pretty boring and I was tired from waking up early and a tad wimpy I would say.

Talked to Erin S a bit. Nothing good, just a little fluff talk. Then we saw people with food walking by so I asked her to get McD for me. She came back 20 min later with it and said "I could have gotten more but I don't have your phone number" and I should have JUMPED on this.this is a definite IOI. You gotta seize the moment, and be able to make good decisions on-the-go. You shouldve gotten her number later that night, simply cuz you now know that you can easily get it. But I wasn't on top of my game and didn't.always be on top of your game

In the first half of the session, I basically didn't really do much but I just made sure to not be AFC by following her, being clingy and "too nice"(i think this was a typo, you prolly meant NOT following her, being clingy, etc. I was more just acting indifferent to everything.

Then I started getting a little better. We were walkin around n stuff, she stopped to talk to a really popular football player and I talked to him a little and even joked around with them. Then we watched some dance routines cuz we were volunteering at a dance competition and I made her laugh a couple times.

With about half an hour left I finally was able to kino her a couple times.try to kino her the entire time rather than just at the end. You should be comfortable with kino at all times We talked a little about piano, which we found out last year we were both really good at and did all the same stuff. Then she said we should come back to watch a couple of the afternoon performances and I made sure not to be too eager by saying "I'm probably gonna be busy" (she laughed at this, idk why) "but maybe"good response here...you made it seem like your time was valuable.

Last few minutes, we talked about colleges a little bit and I was real playful by now. I mentioned how I'm going to apply to a college because there are 2000 more girls than guys (actually kinda serious...lol) and she laughed at that. Then she mentioned her bf about something (he's in college) and then said "well ex-bf, i don't even know..." and I didn't pressgood. always avoid talk about ex bf's.

By now I was planning my exit and thinking of a way to get her number that isn't chumpy cuz well, she's hot and she knows it. So I said, "Are you coming back in the afternoon to watch?" she said maybe so I said, "If you are can you give me a ride?" And she said maybe and asked for my number. I got hers too and left, saying I have stuff to do. Cool.You definitely have a shot with this chick. Dont let it slip through your hands...talk to her more, get more rapport, and get more kino.

Sherman C
So all those "soft" emotions I was feeling about her thankfully kinda went away over the weekend as I was occupying myself with stuff. On Friday we were walking together in the hall and for some reason I just wasn't able to say like "We're going bowling this weekend" cuz I already said that last weekend or "we're going ice skating" cuz that one convo we had about it died down way too quickly. Ah should have just said "hang out"...it's not too hard. damn.yea its as simple as: "hey lets hang out this weekend...we can watch a movie at my house/get somethin to eat/watch a favorite tv show/anything

Mel K (girl i "owe" ice cream to)
Haven't talked to her in weeks, or even met her in person at all. But she was initiating all our convos before so I kinda wanna just text her saying it was time for me to 'pay up' or whatever. And don't worry when we were talking online and texting I way overdid the c&f and stuff so just this me paying her back thing won't be too chumpy.

Body Language
I had read one of those posts about it a little while ago and I think it's helped me a TON. The most basic thing I've been doing is just to make sure that my body is 'open' and I'm taking up as much space as I can. Slow, purposeful body movements also. Not only does this project confidence, I actually FEEL more confident doing it too. I'm definitely sure this helped today.good

Also, lol idk if this is just me being weird but to make sure that I'm acting like a sexual being, I'll actually like point my crotch at a girl or like open my groin towards her. Not like in a weird way but just like leaning back, facing a girl and spreading my legs when I'm sitting down or leaning back, bringing my pelvis forward when I'm standing.lol i do the same thing. If im sittin on a couch, and a girl is sittin on the couch across from me, instead of puttin my legs together and hunchin over sittin straight up, I will instead spread my legs apart, lean back, and just be cool. If your doing this standing though, you dont wanna make it extremely obvious that your bringin your pelvis forward, cuz if girls start to notice that your purposely doin that, theyre gonna be kinda weirded out

 

[sageproduct]

thanks man. ya that was a typo I had and hahaha yeah that'd just be weird if I were obviously thrusting my pelvis or something haha.

Update

Erin S didn't text me about going back to see the dances later. I'll just have to find some way of talking to her.

Mel K (haven't met in person)
So this is really weird. It's all text stuff but this whole thing's just kinda interesting. I swear this girl's like a female DJ or something because she seriously uses VERY ****y c&f that kinda copies the ****iness I was having while talking to her, making herself unavailable, etc...the weirdest thing is I'm pretty sure she's not even hot. I think she's one of those quiet smart girls who doesn't really do anything and only hangs out with her girlfriends. So weird.

Thing is, idk why but I LOVED the ****y attitude she texted with for some reason...it like ignited this fire in me haha it's really weird. Basically I asked her if she had done this thing for some class and she turned it around by calling ME out for basically everything a guy should call out hot girls for (mooching hw, flaking/being busy, being ****y, being difficult). Well I 'owe' her ice cream and I had offered to take her to get it a while back but she was busy. I asked again today and she said "I have zero time today so youll have to work it in to your busy schedule another day." feisty...

 

[sageproduct]

December 15, 2009

Haven't updated in a couple days, i've been dealing with a lot of college sh1t

Erin S (hot, popular girl who asked for my number after we volunteered)
Said hi to her in the hall. Haven't built up enough of anything to text plans with her so my best bet is to hope I see her around so I can talk to her.

Introing another new girl
Eileen S
Has been sitting to the right of me in my 1st period class since we got our new seats like the week before thanksgiving. Now I haven't really talked to her much (boring and VERY unsocial class, desks are awkwardly far apart, excuses i know)

I've only talked to her a couple times. Commented on a hoodie she wore cuz it had my favorite (our local) NBA team on it. Oh weird on Friday when I got to school she said she was going to pick me up but traffic wouldn't let her...this was a little confusing. I guess she saw me on her way to school while I was walking. IOI? anyway i've tried to stop looking for ioi's (well i mean tone down and not depend on them) and trying to read them.

Anyway I just gotta interact with her...hard cuz it's a real quiet class but I feel like if I can just set up some funny inside joke or something it'll take off.

Sherman C (athletic girl)
My IL in her's kinda soaring...some good kino today. Walked into class early and she was already there. She said something to me, I walked over to her seat and she kinoed my arm...which surprised me cuz this whole school year I've been kinoing her (including my very beginnings when i was first learning kino) and she NEVER did it back. Unless you count allowing me to walk close enough so that our sides touch when we're walking together. but she said something about her hands being green or something so I immediately held them to see.

That tip I picked up indirectly from you eaglez. I remember some post (probably a long time ago) where you said anytime a girl says she's cold you'll put your arms around her and move your hands up and down on her arms. Kind of the same idea...I actually did do this with a girl the other day and even though she's a LJBF (mutually) I could tell her mood toward me IMMEDIATELY changed.

Anyway back to Sherman C, it's possible that it's too late. I've been talking to her at school for at least two months now. The first month and a half, i was in the stage where I thought being a DJ meant 'hiding' your interest and because of this never really tried to make plans to hang out with her. The last month I've been trying but she's been busy. Texted her last Sunday (Sher[my nickname for her that she hates]. Bowling. Today.) and she didn't respond but I didn't bring it up at all. Just gotta make sure I make plans with her this weekend.

And wow I'm already typing too much about this girl...but basically I'm kinda weird. I'm like emotionally interested in her but not sexually? Like I could not picture myself going past kissing her. LJBF would be fine actually (not that i'm going to turn down my game with her at ALL) but I remember before hc when i knew I didn't want to ask her cuz i just felt like grinding with her would be weird.

Other Musings/Ramblings
I really like how I've developed socially. Still don't have a very good wit but there's no doubt I can hold a conversation with anyone. I can have good convos and crack some jokes with the popular guys, and I'll talk to some weird freaks occasionally just for the heck of it.

True alpha male-NOTHING can affect them. When people call me out, make fun of me, or insult me in any way, not only do I not show any reaction, on the INSIDE I don't feel anything. I used to get really pissed about this kind of stuff and would react by shutting down socially. Now it just bounces off of me.

 

[sageproduct]

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Eileen S (girl who sits to the right of me in a class)
She was late, didn't talk to her.

Erin S (hot popular girl who asked for my number)
We had a class-wide assembly today and I saw her briefly on the way there but didn't approach and talk. Fwcking should have.

Sherman C (athletic girl)
Saw her after lunch which I don't usually. I put my hand on her back and rubbed for a little bit to say hi. She seems to be depressed/tired a LOT lately...she was just walking slowly and lifelessly, I tried to cheer her up and put my arm around her and gave her a quick squeeze. It's been tough for me to kind of lighten her up withOUT talking about why she's so upset. Haven't really tried to do it before. I joked how her being this way was making feel a little depressed (maybe i shouldn't have?) and she laughed and apologized.

Last week she told me she got in a huge fight with her mom...I steered away from that topic

Winnie M (HOT, popular, bf since fresh year, talks like dumb b1tch and superflirty)
Today I was wearing a dark blue abercrombie shirt that's pretty fashionable and tight around my chest (yaaaa around my bulging muscles, ya know) At the beginning of one of my classes today I was talking to some guys about how good I felt cuz I went to bed real early last night. Winnie M was a little distance away and said "You look good too." I turned to her, held eye contact the whole time, and replied ****ily "I always look good Winnie M." When I turned back to the group, I could tell the guys were just kind of shocked that I had said something like that to the hottest girl in the class...before I would have been too wimpy to even say "thank you".

Paula H (really nice religious girl who kickboxes)
Also saw her on the way to the assembly...convo was a little awkward. She said hi by punching me on the arm and I turned away (should have while kinoing) and came back with a joke about practicing her kickboxing on me. Wasn't funny enough. Made a little bit of normal conversation about her kickboxing but she happened to be trying to talk to her friend the last question I asked so after she replied I ejected.

HERE STARTS A VENTING SESSION. UNNECESSARY TO BE READ.

While I was talking to her, my friend Louis L tried to call me out on some gay thing that Paula H didn't know about and I just shot some funny go-along joke real quick. This guy's been a huge d1ck to me lately. Literally taking every single opportunity he can to make fun of me and even making Asian jokes. I never let it affect my mood socially. But I just feel like he hates seeing me interact with girls for some reason. Waaay back when this girl was writing down her # on a sheet of paper for me for this DVD drive I was doing he was walking by and just called out "he won't stop calling you." When we're in ANY kind of social group interaction, be it with guys or girls, he completely changes his interaction towards me and occasionally would even call me out for things that I told him in private (we used to talk a lot before this school year and during the beginning of it).

Thing is tho he's not a d1ck to anyone else. He's actually the ultra-social kid who'll talk to everyone. He's overconfident and is smart academically and likes to show it off. Brags about ANYTHING good that happens to him. This one time I was describing a girl to him who was weird in the sense that she seemed to be attracted to guys with low self-confidence. He replies smugly, "Well a lot of girls are." On the inside I was like um no.....but i didn't say anything.

I've just been showing him I don't care what he thinks by going along with his insults and never fighting back...but this has been going on for a while but I guess I should just ask him what the deal is next time he says something. Even though that signifies that I "think he's been mean to me" or something...other side of me wants to just ignore him completely. Meaning not initiate any convos with him, only talk to him when I have to...but he is more social than I am and talks to more people than I do.

He's gone out with two really weird girls, had sex with one of them (who was so weird he had to keep it secret) and one girl who's really nice and I talk to. the relationship with the last girl ended cuz she found out that he liked Petunia S but she rejected him. (thank god hah)

Gay Friends
Just venting more about how gay my group of friends has been...the girls are unsexual and unattractive (except for Petunia S) and the guys are WHIPPED by them. I don't have fun any more really when I hang out with them and have been with them a bit less. I still kind of like "have" to sit with them at lunch though. One girl who's kind of at the core of the group now I guess (who I used to be really close with) asked me if I was going to the movies with them on Friday (I wasn't even invited so this would be me just finding out about it) but I said I couldn't. She remarks "Too cool for us?" and the guy who's the most whipped agreed. I know it's more than just a joke because I've been more unavailable to them recently...whatever.

other Stuff that pisses me off
I kind of hate jumping into a conversation that I'm not a part of...I don't know why. And by not a part of i mean like people are talking about something that happened that I wasn't there for. Just feel like I'm rubbing my face in unnecessarily. So naturally, it pisses me off when other guys do it.

When I talk to Millie M about our inside jokes n stuff this guy who sits to the right of her (i sit behind her) will keep leaning in and ask "who was this?" or "for what?" and stuff. he's actually a hilarious, crazy guy who's really social but this thing in particular annoys me.

Anytime I'm talking to a girl and Louis L sees me, he makes sure to interrupt me in some way, even if we're in the hall and it's just him yelling out hi to me. He'll try to override whatever I'm saying and I don't let him take over the conversation usually but it still annoys me.

END VENTING

Couple other tidbits...
Yesterday I was walking through the empty hall after school and turned the corner and this pretty hot popular girl was walking toward me. I had english with her and she probably knew me as a wimp. Well I looked her straight in the eye, held contact, and confidently said hi and asked her how she was. I'm pretty sure I surprised her with my confidence.

Today on my way to a class I happened to meet up with another hot popular girl i haven't mentioned before who is the DEFINITION of high maintenance, attitude, ultra-ambition (she transferred schools to improve her class rank...yikes). She greeted me with "Shalom, sageproduct!" I had no idea what that word meant but said hi n stuff. she ended up walking a little ahead of me and then used the word "shambles". I was a little confused so I said, "is this australian day or something?" hah turns out neither words australian or anything but whatever. Before she could respond we heard a tearing noise and looked down to see where it came from. Apparently I had stepped on the bottom of her jeans and tore a small piece off. Naturally my first instinct was to apologize, but then I remembered what I have learned and ended up not saying anything and just staring at her with my mouth open and a look of surprise. We were in class by now and she said "I'm gonna kill you sageproduct" while walking away. hah

 

[sageproduct]

Thursday, December 17, 2009

(last day of school before two week break)

Eileen S (girl who sits to right of me in a class)
I was late to this class today and while the teacher was talking (class is quiet) she suddenly turned and whispered to me "You're gonna want to get a calculator link cable". I guess I kinda suck at whispering at the right volume, i had to repeat myself like 4 times to explain to her that my calculator's not compatible. Was kind of strange, she just frowned haha.

Of course I took this as an IOI. Throughout the period the teacher kept droning on without a chance for open social communication. I just decided to play a long a bit and ask her a few other BS questions about math. Think she initiated a little bit too. I'm pissed though that I couldn't kino cuz the desks were literally too far for away for my arms to reach.

Sherman C (athletic girl)
During class she got up to throw something away and passed by my seat on the way back. She had put on too much hand sanitizer so she put some of it on my hand, I just let her do it. After class she called my attention from behind and was holding her phone, saying she got a new one. Then said she needed my number (we had already exchanged numbers before). On our way to our next class, I just continued a little fluff talk and it was ok.

Tried to talk to her more after the classes we have together but one of them she took a long time and I didn't want to wait for her and the other one she rushed out way before I left. During a class though the teacher was asking me about what I do for fun and I had replied "Anything." Sherman C said out loud "he bowls" (this is what we had made plans for before but haven't done it yet)

She did seem in a better mood today though.

Millie M (friend of a couple years)
Just getting some good practice with her in kinoing and using the right amount of C&F in conversation and just practicing being entertaining. I'm definitely improving cuz lately I've been making her laugh a lot.

Erin S (hot, popular girl i volunteered with who asked for my number)
Saw her once in the hall while walking with my friend and said hi. Just had an idea today that next time I see her I'll ask her if she's still working on this one piano song and then spark a short convo, then see if she wants to learn a duet together. Best I could come up with for seeing her on our own time.

Embracing My Sexuality
Something funny happened in one of my classes today. I was doing a short presentation when a few guys who I talk to in that class just burst out laughing uncontrollably. I paused to look at them cuz I thought they were laughing at something I said but I just kept going. When I was done and sat back down, they filled me in.

They said my belt was above the button (i was wearing jeans) so that the middle of my jeans were kind of hangin, making a big bulge at my crotch. I was making sure that I was projecting confidence so I remembered leaning back and kind of moving my hips forward, which they also laughed at. No one else in the class seemed to notice. I take this as a good thing though.

 

[sageproduct]

Friday, December 18, 2009

Last day before break

Eileen S (girl who sits next to me in math)
I missed this class today! Didn't get to talk to her, don't have her number, now two week break...I guess I could add her on fb and try to chat her. Or wait til after break.

Sherman C (athletic girl)
After a class that we have I walked out talking to a couple guys who have real high value. Then they went a different way and Sherman C tugged my backpack from behind and we talked a bit.

She sounded terribly sick and it made me seriously feel terrible so I put my arm around her for a bit. I tried to have her release her emotions on me but wasn't really able to get her to laugh at anything.

When we got to our classes I hadn't told her we were hanging out over break and then I realized that and called out her name again but she didn't hear me...

So after school I was reading BongDuy's FR and eaglez said he should text a girl and a lightbulb went off in my head, texting a girl to make plans isn't poisonous if I'm doing most of the things in person right...

Just texted her saying I hope she'd get a good nap before her bball game (she said she was extremely tired) and she responded "thanks i will try to lay down but bowling over break?" and I asked about tomorrow, she said she'll ask because her parents might not let her since she's sick. Then I said "you need soup. I'll bring you some...maybe" she sent a smiley, then accidentally said "duck" instead of "sick" so i teased her then told her to go to sleep and text me after her game.

Mel K (random girl i haven't met yet who i "owe" ice cream to)
On that same note, I initiated a text convo with her after school, saying that since i'm gonna be less busy without school I could buy her the ice cream i owe her soon.

Well basically I continued making myself a little unavailable and now we have plans to get ice cream tuesday night after i get home from tennis. Strange again, I've said this before about her but it's so weird that she seems to be playing the game perfectly but from what I know of her she's one of those shy girls who studies all the time and only hangs out with girls. She definitely does C&F, makes herself unavailable, teases me and makes me wonder.

Tango en la clase
So today in Spanish our teacher decided to teach us tango. Got all of the desks out of the way and we were all on the "dance floor" of the classroom...haha. Well at first I was just talkin to some friends and I was ready to gay dance when a pretty good looking popular girl who's had a bf since soph year asked me to dance. her friend danced with my friend. My spanish class though, is pretty reperesentative of my school though, in the following sense: there are 5 girls who are good looking and popular, and here are their statuses:
-bf in college (who i'm actually friends with)
-bf since fresh
-bf since soph
-bf(i think?) since 8th grade (they've gone to every single dance together)
-bf since i don't even know when

Yeah...pretty sh1tty. But I did dance with the one who's had a bf since soph. I've been talking to her since soph year, never hung out but we make good convo. It was awkward at first but once I learned the moves our teacher was showing us I got more confident and led more. I even guided her and started telling her what to do. We ended up getting kinda good at it...it was fun.
At the end, I realized that dancing is some of the best kino you can get, so if you dance with a girl you're interested in it's a huge plus.

 

[sageproduct]

Update...of nothing

So basically I've been a social hermit since school got out Friday. My "friends" (the gay group that's been sh1tty) invited me to hang out Fri and see a movie yesterday but I honestly couldn't because of a tennis tourney. Was kind of glad to not go though actually...

Mel K (girl i haven't even met yet)
Supposed to get ice cream with her after I get home from tennis tonight, we made these plans on Friday. Just texted her to confirm, waiting to hear back...

Sherman C (athletic girl)
My IL in her is now definitely above the safe zone. Thinkin about her too much. Friday she asked to go bowling "over break", I've been "busy" since and she's had bball games every day. Didn't talk again til last night when I texted her asking how her games went, she didn't reply to my last one. Looks like she's not a texter, I'll text her only for plans from now on. Gonna tell her to go bowling with me tomorrow.

I say my IL in her is too high because well, I've already typed a little paragraph about much of nothing. And I keep imagining myself doing things with her, like ice skating and even kissing and stuff. It started snowing today and it's perfect "play in the snow" conditions cause it's not even that cold.

 

[BongDuy]

haha im not going to lie, I tend to think of certain girls a little too much sometimes too, but that doesn't necessarily mean you're catching one itus. I mean, I guess I put it into two thinking processes.
1) Lust- Basically You just think naughty things with that person, which is totally normal lol
2) One itus Thoughts - The thought of " We would be perfect together", " She would make a great wife." or " I wonder we're ment to be". Thoughts like these should be avoided.

There are some girls I think about a lot, but i would like to believe its just a phase. For example, let's take this current girl Jackie ( Who's in my Journal ) I think about her pretty often, but i just don't catch those " we were ment to be" feelings with her. I don't mean to sound like a total d1ck, but I see her as a learning experience, as in sex. I guess I see women in two different ways. Sex ( Big booty/chest, sexy face, little personality). Or girlfriend Material ( innocent, cute, kind, honest) and Jackie Just happens to fall under The lustful category. I hope this makes sense to you lol