S*!T happens

[Pozitron]

This post isn't about girls, it's about some s*** that keeps happening betwen me and my parents, especially my father.

He is maybe coleric or I don't know and honestly I don't give a s*** and he get's mad real quick.
When mad he screams at me is just very aggresive (not physically, but in what he does and speak) . He yells and just swears at me and stuff like that.
My mother isn't rwally like that but she sure does have her moments.

Wtf is happening and what can I do about it?

For instance... one time I would want to ask my mom to iron something for me, as usually. And I went to look at my shirts to pick one. He saw me and yelled something about why now and not sooner. I don't remember how it went exacly but I know he had his typical reaction. So I couldn't stand it and I left the room saying " When I'll learn to iron I swear I'll never ask yu to do it for me ever again". 3 min later he came to be and grabed me and said he would beat me if I would say that again.

Later in the day... he kind of apologied and tried to make it back but ehat's done is done. BTW.. I learned how to iron and since then ( 1 week ) I did it myself. I never asked my mom to do that or mak my lunch again ever since( because of that and because I had a goal to work on my independence)

Similar... s*** like this happens often enough. Now, today, it did again..
He fixed my light and I grabbed a chair afterward and started to arrange the light spots to point in the direction I want.
He called my name in a tone I disliked and I said "yeeees" (in a "what now" manner). This made him angry and he yelled at me again loud ( no surprise here) and at one moment punched my closet cause he was angry.. when my mom asked what was the problem he told her I answered that way and she was like punch him in the face or something.

Similar when we discuss and it turns into a quarrel and He doesn't let me speak.

Sorry if not accurate but I can't realy transtale the discussion as it is.
SO yea... as I shaid stupid s(!t like that happens.. and I feel like I hate them after that.. I feel like If I was independent of them I won't give a fu** and move out.
Of course after I forgive them but really when it happens it drives me crazy. I always shut up in the end of course..

So how the hell could I be happy or mentain a positive attitude or be relaxed and not take things seriously ( as I wanna do) when s*** like that happens regularly?

Huh.... sory for the long post.. I had to let it out..
What do you think?.. i sometimes feel like soon I won't give a f*** anymore about anything.

 

[Pozitron]

So.. ?
Update on this... he got hurt cause of what he did.
my mom said I was responsable for it.

I can say this to my mom but I say it here: No s***? From when the hell am I responsible for other people's f***** action?.
Don't wory, I'm not mad or anything... just lighty sad she doesn't get it.

But shoooo. Away from me all this drama... it was what it was.. they're my parents. They're human cause I know I am and I also know we all make mistakes and have flaws.
I'll forgive and forget..

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Dude, I don't know how we can help you really. Just remember, it's always on you.

 

[BigSmooth]

Life will go on. I know it's hard to stay positive when you always deal with crap from parents. However, the world won't come to an end.

Are you also showing your parents affection? I know most teenagers think it's all their parents' fault, but have you just tried randomly going up to your parents, and just talk to them, help them out without the intention of getting back anything in return?

What's important is keeping your calm, and knowing that whoever keeps their calm is in control of the situation.


~B-Smooth

 

[nickcaeb]

Do both your parents work? Sometimes the stress of both working and the stress of managing a household, cooking, doing chores, paying bills, puts an underlying stress on parents that boys sometimes don’t pick up. Girls seem to be more sensitive and talk more with their moms.

My mom would get upset if I asked her to redo my shirts because of some rinckles. One day she said in a disgusting tone, “Here, you do it yourself” and threw the shirt at me. From that day in 5th grade, I ironed all of my clothes. You might try helping out with the laundry, mowing the grass, doing more things for yourself to show that you’re growing up and not so dependent on them.

Basically, calm yourself and control your emotions. Control your tone of voice when you talk to them. Nothing snide or sarcastic. Your parents will pick this up, maybe unconsciously, and change the way they interact with you.

 

[Pozitron]

Thanks.
Yep.. you kind of nailed it.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Yeah, nickcaeb did nail it. It's all about paying attention to them and their stresses. Trying to intuitively pay attention to what bothers them, then calming yourself and having compassion for those problems. My parents let me smoke without much hassle now, just because I never fought over it. I was clear, logical and respectful, and it's worked out beautifully.

(Also when I'm blazed, I chat with my mom forever about our dogs. She's a cute little girl at heart, it's a lot of fun)