“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Running the Field! Tips from a former dating coach.

ValiantMale

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Thought I'd give some value to everyone from what I've learned over a decade in the field and 6 years of coaching. I was originally going to make a post about trends I've noticed in the men I've coached which I feel would be an interesting topic but I might save that for later as I think these days on SS there aren't as many coaches as there used to be back i nthe day to relate with/share experiences as a coach.

Anyways, here it goes: Tips for gaming in the field!

Tip #1
: If you are day gaming, GO SOLO!. If you are Night Gaming/Clubs/Bars/Parties, always go with friends! Just don't hover around friends who won't benefit your sets!.. Move around, you want to be seen having a blast with your friends, but alone when you approach unless its a multiple person set! Your guys/friends should already be primed at nightlife andk now how to handle the ****blocks, distract the other women. We all take one for the team, in hopes that it is reciprocated in the next set or next time we go out.

Tip #2: No more than 4 drinks the whole night, you don't want to be wasted, just loose enough to let your true confidence shine.

Tip #3: Don't go into interview mode.. Nothing turns off a girl more than boring interview questions about where she's from, what school she went to or goes to, how far she lives from the bar, etc

Tip #4: Stand directly facing her, not perpendicular to her, or side by side. She's not a dude.. Women are receptive to face to face conversations, it's how they talk to close friends, best friends, romantic partners, etc.
Protip/Hack: If you can manage to stand very close to her without it being uncomfortable,t his will trick part of her brain that tells her she knows you well already/or that you guys are alot closer than you are. This is a psychological thing and this is probably the #1 secret of alot of major pickup artist that they will not publish nor share with the dweebs they coach! Thank me later. (if you have to ask what happens if she backs away or he rbody language is uncomfortable, she probably isnt attracted to you-- move on)

Tip #5: Don't be concerned with if she is seeing anyone or has a boyfriend. What I noticed after more than a decade of gaming is in recent times, many women are open to the prospect of sex with a guy they just met, irregardless of whether they have a man at home--and don't like to be reminded that they are in a relationship. The ones tha tare good girls are going to stay at home, so don't worry about ruining a good relationship.. Focus on having fun as it is pivotal to have as much practice as possible both in approach, conversations,and in the bedroom whenbuilding experience.

Tip #6: be consistent. The more you go out and practice, the better you'll get and guess what, you'll develop your own methods.. No two people are the same.. While there are objective fundamentals to game, much of a mans game is going to be unique to him in some way or another.

Tip #7: Lead with sexual confidence.. Intelligence, wit, sharing experiences or building a "character" in her mind can all be important tools, but the sexual confidence is what "available" women are looking for.. They want to have a good romantic time. Most women have already experienced alot of dining out, conversations, flowers, etc from many men--especially if they are attractive. What most men lack is the sexual confidence/passion. Why that is is probably due to alot of shame.. or feeling bad for how society has objectified women for so long or unhealthy diets affecting EQ or performance.

Tip #8: Do not fear a temporary disconnect. Where I saw alot of my clients fail is.. After having an initial good approach, good conversation, them feeling defeated at a woman leaving the set to go back to her friends, or go dance, etc. In some small occasions its good to follow them -- but unless you feel a subtle invitation, its always better to smile and be respectful and also show that you got your own thing going on in this place.. Women like to tease, they like to scour around like cats, before you run into each other again and continue where you left off.. It's almost like a scene in a movie where 2 high value people of the opposite gender meet and go aroudn doing their own thing before meeting again and capitalizing on each others interest.. Movies and programming has alot of affect on women, even moreso than men. Regardless, they also sometimes do this to see if there is any other prospects they may be missing out on before settling on you. No worries, because when you do get tha tdisconnect,it also gives YOU a chance to see if there are better prospects. THat, and you can't also expect a woman to completely ditch her friends to spend the whole night with you. As men, we might do this but we're hardwired a bit differently.
The point is, you should reconnect if it seem worth it, and the 2nd connection is where you both should be a bit more loosened up and things should be more spicy.

Tip #9: If gaming the club, don't go for the number unless you have ha dsome significant impact on her.. Its moot compared to capitalizing the same night. If you leave things for later, chances are she wont even remember who you are or care. At the very least, you should have some level of impact on her-

Tip #10: If she's all sh1t tests, she doesn't see you as higher value than her/does not respect you.. You can choose not to bother or you can prove your worth. Your choice. Girls that have high interest in you won't sh.t test you plain and simple.. But they also will not try to come off as easy or desperate.. so have a bit of discernment, but do not be phased.

Tip #11: The final tip: Always THINK OF THE END GOAL. What I learned in 6 years of coaching men of all walks of life is this: Most men are defeated because they are phased by simple words, actions or lack of actions.. because they forget or don't put emphasis on the end goal: the sex. At the end of the day you are trying to close a deal. You're trying to capitalize on pleasure and accomplishment of reaching the goal of giving her the concentrated attention and satisfaction that women seek, while reaping the confidence, satisfaction and benefits that come with it. The men I've seen who are successful often are unphased by all the little mishaps and jabs and sh.t tests that lead up to their end goal.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Divorced w 3

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Could you please post one conversation of you and a member of the opposite sex setting a date? Ideally recently

Asking for a friend, thanks
 
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ValiantMale

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Tip #12: Be the only person with alcohol by the end of the party, so women are required to approach you and compensate for your lack of game.
Hey man, its clear you took some things I said personally. Once again, it wasn't a big deal to me.. you tried to call me out and I stated facts that you've iterated about your own personal life and it clearly struck a chord.. It's quite immature to bring that into a whole different thread, but I'm glad though because this will show some of your character for those who might have considered becoming one of your coaching clients.

Also thanks for bumping this thread. I hope it helps some people :)

But yes, I will add that to the thread..

12) Be the one with the nice bottles of alcohol at a big party where the booze is bound to run out at the end of the night. :)

Some popular yet inexpensive bottles to bring to parties these days:

Tequila:

Don Julio Reposado
Casamigos


Cognac:
Dusse is very popular right now
Hennessy is classic
Remy Martin VSOP


Bourbon/whiskey:
Woodford Reserve Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Knob Creek


Extras:

Rum: (most people arent too picky with Rum, seems like Tequila, Vodka and Cognacs dominate parties these days, as well as beer and pre mixed packaged junk)
Bacardi Superior
Captain Morgan
Sailor Jerrys
Havana Club
Don Q


Vodka: again no one is picky about their vodka
TIto's
Grey Goose
 
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SW15

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Tips for gaming in the field!
There was some useful content in the tips. I'll review some now and maybe more later.

Tip #1: If you are day gaming, GO SOLO!. If you are Night Gaming/Clubs/Bars/Parties, always go with friends!
I agree with this. Daygame approaching is well suited for solo approachers. In the majority of daygame, non-bar scenarios, the woman is already isolated from her friends. It's automatically a one-on-one approach scenario.

When women go to nightlife venues (both bars and nightclubs), they are usually going out with at least one other person. Women don't go out to nightlife venues alone, mainly due to safety risks. When interacting with women in nightlife venues, they are part of a group of some size and they will have some level of expectation that a male is out with at least one other person too.

There is some debate about the ideal group size to approach. Former PUA Roosh believed that women in groups of 2-3 were the best for finding sex. He theorized that women in groups of 4+ were less serious about meeting men. Mystery was not opposed to men approaching groups of 4+.

I have done some solo nightlife approaching sessions and I wouldn't recommend. It makes nightlife approaching more difficult and less fun for many reasons.

I'm not sure what you meant by parties. A lot of parties are at private parties at someone's residence. They are closed, social circle gatherings. It's possible for a man to show up alone to parties because he will know other party attendees at a private party. The last time I randomly showed to parties at a residence without knowing people was in college when I was under 21 in the early 2000s.

Tip #2: No more than 4 drinks the whole night, you don't want to be wasted, just loose enough to let your true confidence shine.
This is good. This is part of remember the end goal of sex for the evening, part of Tip #11. Too much alcohol will affect sex if sex becomes part of the night. Prior to sex, too much alcohol can affect approaches and create socially awkward situations. These situations will not result in sex.

Tip #3: Don't go into interview mode.. Nothing turns off a girl more than boring interview questions about where she's from, what school she went to or goes to, how far she lives from the bar, etc
Agree with this, though I think this is more relevant on extended dates than in initial approaches.

In initial real life approaches, the conversation should be fun and light. Showing some charisma is good. The boring, interview style questions won't create attraction.

I think more men need guidance on how to be conversationally interesting. It's a problem in both approaches and on first dates.

Boring, simple type questions are worse in nightlife approaching than in non-bar approaching.

Tip #5: Don't be concerned with if she is seeing anyone or has a boyfriend. What I noticed after more than a decade of gaming is in recent times, many women are open to the prospect of sex with a guy they just met, irregardless of whether they have a man at home--and don't like to be reminded that they are in a relationship. The ones tha tare good girls are going to stay at home, so don't worry about ruining a good relationship.. Focus on having fun as it is pivotal to have as much practice as possible both in approach, conversations,and in the bedroom whenbuilding experience.
I have mixed feelings about this one.

Part of what makes non-bar approaching so difficult is that isn't well targeted. The majority of women between ages 18-49 aren't seeking new penis at the moment they are approached in a non-bar setting. As a result, non-bar approaching is inefficient, even when it is done in a targeted way. A man could be doing non-bar approaches in a part of his city where the majority of people are unmarried. I recommend doing this. Even with this good idea, these majority unmarried women aren't majority unattached. Most won't be seeking new penis at any given moment due to a boyfriend or a situationship. The majority of these women will not be very open to having any meaningful conversation and these conversations will fizzle out in less than 60 seconds. That's not enough time to assess compatibility and offer a future social outing. These are meaningless conversations that go nowhere. Additionally, in these conversations, it is unlikely that the woman discloses her boyfriend in those less than 60 seconds, so the man wonders why his approaches aren't getting the intended response.

In the USA, I don't recommend doing approaches in suburban venues because most of the women in the suburbs will already be married. That's even less available for the random approacher as compared to unmarried women with boyfriends.

Nightlife venues are a different setting. If a woman is in a nightlife venue, it is more of a signal that she is open to new penis.

Doing approaches is going to be easier if there are more interactions with women actually seeking new penis. It's best to find venues where the attendees are women in the market for new penis. It drains energy to even have short interactions with women who aren't seeking new penis. It's disappointing to approach a woman after a fitness class, have her not engage, and leave that class setting without setting future social outings. It's frustrating to not know if she wasn't responsive due to not seeking new penis in life or being available and not feeling a connection.

Tip #9: If gaming the club, don't go for the number unless you have ha dsome significant impact on her.. Its moot compared to capitalizing the same night. If you leave things for later, chances are she wont even remember who you are or care. At the very least, you should have some level of impact on her-
Nightclub (loud music, DJs, dance floor) gaming is mostly done with the goal of same night sex. There's no point in bothering to get a phone number or even set up a future social outing (commonly called a date) in that environment.

In a bar environment (no DJ or dance floor), same night sex is ususually going to be the priority as well. In a bar, it's possible to arrange future dates, especially if it is earlier in the night (before 9 PM) and on a weeknight. The 5-9 PM time frame can work for finding approaches for future dates. On Sunday night - Thursday night, bars between 5-9 PM are usually dates (often arranged from the swipe apps) or random friend groups who can be open to socializations.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BadBoy89

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The OP may have some tips but there is so much theory on this site, very few field reports.

I suggest instead of posting what men “should do” in order to attract women, we should post on what “women want”, how the “female mind works” and field reports. We tell men “make sure you do this, act like this, dress like this.” We barely hear “find out what’s important to the woman and run with it.”

My thoughts only. For the record, I hate alcohol.
 

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The OP may have some tips but there is so much theory on this site, very few field reports.

I suggest instead of posting what men “should do” in order to attract women, we should post on what “women want”, how the “female mind works” and field reports. We tell men “make sure you do this, act like this, dress like this.” We barely hear “find out what’s important to the woman and run with it.”

My thoughts only. For the record, I hate alcohol.
OP is a self admitted bull****ter, massively overweight, in a trailer, previously banned for major emotional dysfunction, posting under a new handle
 

Prepostereax

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I've found that one of the trickiest keys is to isolate the woman.
Especially as an introvert.
Once I can get her undivided attention, the chemistry can happen, and everything else falls into place..

To pick the interesting part of your other thread:
ValiantMale said:
".. I run into her again maybe 15 minutes later and she gets all heated saying something along the lines of "Where the fucc did you go? I was waiting for you.. you said you wanted to take a shot together.. but you disappeared.. so I took mine" I used that to turn it back around to her like "oh you took your shot without me? thats messed up".. "
So this is the cue to "take your shot" with her elsewhere, ie get her away from the party to somewhere quieter.

Parties are great for meeting people, but rarely does any action happen at the party itself.
Keep in mind good alternatives, a series of them if need be: your car/ a bar /cafe/ pub/ hotel/ somewhere nice to stroll/ your place/ her place, etc.

One of the most natural players I know irl (a "Tyrone-lite") would zoom in on the hottest girl at any party, and rarely stayed longer than it took to get her away, even if it means booking a hotel room nearby.
 

ValiantMale

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I've found that one of the trickiest keys is to isolate the woman.
Especially as an introvert.
Once I can get her undivided attention, the chemistry can happen, and everything else falls into place..

To pick the interesting part of your other thread:

So this is the cue to "take your shot" with her elsewhere, ie get her away from the party to somewhere quieter.

Parties are great for meeting people, but rarely does any action happen at the party itself.
Keep in mind good alternatives, a series of them if need be: your car/ a bar /cafe/ pub/ hotel/ somewhere nice to stroll/ your place/ her place, etc.

One of the most natural players I know irl (a "Tyrone-lite") would zoom in on the hottest girl at any party, and rarely stayed longer than it took to get her away, even if it means booking a hotel room nearby.
Yeah that's definitely a part of what it is, but besides that it's more or less understanding that a set /situation doesn't end the moment she goes back to her friends or goes somewhere else to dance.. Or even if she dances around some other guys for a bit.. The point is you want to make your impression, sometimes you'll continue and stay on set for as long as needed before you make a move.. Other times, you might need to re-connect with her one more time before the night is over to really seal the deal. Sometimes its even better not to exchange contacts on the first interaction adn find her again and continue , and then capitalize on the number.. It all depends on how you play your game and how your interaction is going. Alot of times a guy might ask a number, and they exchange numbers--and htat's where the set ends.. But by the time the night goes on, the girl is lost and distracted in other potentials and nothing ends up happening by the time you text her.

The OP may have some tips but there is so much theory on this site, very few field reports.

I suggest instead of posting what men “should do” in order to attract women, we should post on what “women want”, how the “female mind works” and field reports. We tell men “make sure you do this, act like this, dress like this.” We barely hear “find out what’s important to the woman and run with it.”

My thoughts only. For the record, I hate alcohol.
I agree for sure, but the big thing is everyones game is different..What works for some might not work for others, thus these are alot of general statements from my own experience in the field and as a coach.
 

ValiantMale

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There was some useful content in the tips. I'll review some now and maybe more later.



I agree with this. Daygame approaching is well suited for solo approachers. In the majority of daygame, non-bar scenarios, the woman is already isolated from her friends. It's automatically a one-on-one approach scenario.

When women go to nightlife venues (both bars and nightclubs), they are usually going out with at least one other person. Women don't go out to nightlife venues alone, mainly due to safety risks. When interacting with women in nightlife venues, they are part of a group of some size and they will have some level of expectation that a male is out with at least one other person too.

There is some debate about the ideal group size to approach. Former PUA Roosh believed that women in groups of 2-3 were the best for finding sex. He theorized that women in groups of 4+ were less serious about meeting men. Mystery was not opposed to men approaching groups of 4+.

I have done some solo nightlife approaching sessions and I wouldn't recommend. It makes nightlife approaching more difficult and less fun for many reasons.

I'm not sure what you meant by parties. A lot of parties are at private parties at someone's residence. They are closed, social circle gatherings. It's possible for a man to show up alone to parties because he will know other party attendees at a private party. The last time I randomly showed to parties at a residence without knowing people was in college when I was under 21 in the early 2000s.



This is good. This is part of remember the end goal of sex for the evening, part of Tip #11. Too much alcohol will affect sex if sex becomes part of the night. Prior to sex, too much alcohol can affect approaches and create socially awkward situations. These situations will not result in sex.



Agree with this, though I think this is more relevant on extended dates than in initial approaches.

In initial real life approaches, the conversation should be fun and light. Showing some charisma is good. The boring, interview style questions won't create attraction.

I think more men need guidance on how to be conversationally interesting. It's a problem in both approaches and on first dates.

Boring, simple type questions are worse in nightlife approaching than in non-bar approaching.



I have mixed feelings about this one.

Part of what makes non-bar approaching so difficult is that isn't well targeted. The majority of women between ages 18-49 aren't seeking new penis at the moment they are approached in a non-bar setting. As a result, non-bar approaching is inefficient, even when it is done in a targeted way. A man could be doing non-bar approaches in a part of his city where the majority of people are unmarried. I recommend doing this. Even with this good idea, these majority unmarried women aren't majority unattached. Most won't be seeking new penis at any given moment due to a boyfriend or a situationship. The majority of these women will not be very open to having any meaningful conversation and these conversations will fizzle out in less than 60 seconds. That's not enough time to assess compatibility and offer a future social outing. These are meaningless conversations that go nowhere. Additionally, in these conversations, it is unlikely that the woman discloses her boyfriend in those less than 60 seconds, so the man wonders why his approaches aren't getting the intended response.

In the USA, I don't recommend doing approaches in suburban venues because most of the women in the suburbs will already be married. That's even less available for the random approacher as compared to unmarried women with boyfriends.

Nightlife venues are a different setting. If a woman is in a nightlife venue, it is more of a signal that she is open to new penis.

Doing approaches is going to be easier if there are more interactions with women actually seeking new penis. It's best to find venues where the attendees are women in the market for new penis. It drains energy to even have short interactions with women who aren't seeking new penis. It's disappointing to approach a woman after a fitness class, have her not engage, and leave that class setting without setting future social outings. It's frustrating to not know if she wasn't responsive due to not seeking new penis in life or being available and not feeling a connection.



Nightclub (loud music, DJs, dance floor) gaming is mostly done with the goal of same night sex. There's no point in bothering to get a phone number or even set up a future social outing (commonly called a date) in that environment.

In a bar environment (no DJ or dance floor), same night sex is ususually going to be the priority as well. In a bar, it's possible to arrange future dates, especially if it is earlier in the night (before 9 PM) and on a weeknight. The 5-9 PM time frame can work for finding approaches for future dates. On Sunday night - Thursday night, bars between 5-9 PM are usually dates (often arranged from the swipe apps) or random friend groups who can be open to socializations.
Hey thanks for the thorough response. I really enjoyed reading everything you had to say. You seem to also share alot of similar perspectives and experience in this field as well. I look forward to engaging on more topics in the future.

As for the one you had mixed feelings on, that was in reference to nightgame rather than day game-- I should have emphasized that.. But I agree on your sentiments.
 

Bingo-Player

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I think a lot of men struggle with the notion of sexualising women

Women generally say they do not want to be sexually objectified by men yet when you see what they wear and how they act its clear this is diametrically opposed to what's coming out of their mouths

Conversely some of my best results have come from sexualising women especially when in close proximity

Fine line between turning her on and turning her off though

Food for thought
 

ValiantMale

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I think a lot of men struggle with the notion of sexualising women

Women generally say they do not want to be sexually objectified by men yet when you see what they wear and how they act its clear this is diametrically opposed to what's coming out of their mouths

Conversely some of my best results have come from sexualising women especially when in close proximity

Fine line between turning her on and turning her off though

Food for thought
I agree and I believe this can be a roadblock for a lot of men these days.
 

ValiantMale

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Woodford Reserve has both a rye whiskey and a bourbon.

Both the bourbon and the rye whiskey are very good.
Indeed. My favorite by them is their Double Oaked which is a twice barreled bourbon. If you like scotch whiskey, try Johnny Walker Black Label. That stuff is one of the best scotch whiskeys you can get for the price.
 
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