"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Running into an ex and her sister.

Suspens

Master Don Juan
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And it wasn't the first time it happened. There is a shopping center near my house and her sister comes here a lot. They live far from here so I'm not sure if she(the Ex's sister, let's cal her Megan) is stalking me, missing me or just trying to get attention. I mean Megan doesn't need to visit this mall that often.

Every time we ran into each other I completely ignored Megan and acted as if we are total strangers. Probably that made me look like a sore loser as we were pretty friendly before breaking up with my ex and she even admitted she likes me and thinks I'm a cool guy in front of my girlfriend (her sister).

Now I don't give a fvck about the ex and she doesn't even turn me on at all. But I really like her sister. This is a confusing and weird situation, I don't know what to do.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Willard

Senior Don Juan
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Why don't you ask out the sister, what do you have to lose?
 

ChemGod

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I would also suggest just asking out the sister. You might want to do it when your ex isn't around but even if she is, fk it lol. Just ask her if she wants to grab some drinks.
 

Suspens

Master Don Juan
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She is eighteen. And the breakup was a rough one.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

Master Don Juan
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Obvious. If you see her a lot, then talk to her cuz that clearly means she wants to talk to you.
 

Suspens

Master Don Juan
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Sent her an idiotic emoticon through SMS:

That was it. No reply yet. I kinda regret acting like an egoistic loser and ignoring her.
 

Suspens

Master Don Juan
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The first time we saw each other she had a genuine happy smile on her face. I acted like a sore loser, ignored her and walked past her.


Now she realizes it was all a phony immature act. "Go F yourself suspens, I can enslave any guy I want and you know it. You are a nobody"


Still, I have no idea why we ran into each other so many times. WTF is this paranormal crap anyway.
 
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