So there's this girl i like, we have a bunch of classes together. I'm sitting with her one day, and her and her friend seem to be making plans to go somewhere, I've got somewhere to be, so I say good bye and go for a quick lunch. I end up running into her in the cafeteria and she jokingly comments "What are you stalking me?" I laugh, we move on with conversation. At that point, I decided (also some advice from here) that it wouldn't be a good idea to 'run into' her too many more times, just in case she's at all creeped out. Well, yesterday I was with a couple friends and I saw her in the hallway, and she saw me, and I wasn't even trying to run into her! I was going to go and talk to her, but she walked off somewhere else before i could get her attention. If she is actually worried about me being creepy (even though I'm not) what can I say to her that will relax her about it? But not sound too weird if she doesn't feel that way? Should i just pretend like it didn't happen?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
running into a girl too many times?
- Thread starter yowhatsup
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Instead of just laughing and moving on, make fun out of the situation with her. Consistantly laughing it off or moving on could seem creepy if it's done often enough, it seems as if you're hiding something.
War Against Betaism
Master Don Juan
You should make the situation be as if she's the one intentionally running into you. As soon as she said "Are you stalking me?" she set the frame that you were the one that's following her.
Confidence is definitely an issue of yours. If we can see it so can she. Work on it, you obviously have some positive qualities if you have been communicating with her to this point. Each time you address her be confident. As others have said, each time you see her, approach her with the "your a horrible stalker," she should eat it up. Tell her that it would just be easier for her to ask you out on a date then follow you around all day. If that doesn’t stimulate something, keep trying, your on your way.
NewB
NewB
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Someone Much cooler
Senior Don Juan
I'd say "well since your gonna stalk me and you won't have it any other way besides bein my groupie, i might as well have some manners and invite you to sit your pretty self down and have a bite to eat.
Is it even worth pointing it out at all? You're both in the same building for several hours per day going to different classes, it's just a fact of school that you're going to see each other several times per day every day. Do you want to point out this obvious dynamic and make it awkward every time you pass by?
Just Another Guy....
Don Juan
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ligyron said:Is it even worth pointing it out at all? You're both in the same building for several hours per day going to different classes, it's just a fact of school that you're going to see each other several times per day every day. Do you want to point out this obvious dynamic and make it awkward every time you pass by?
Right on, make no mention of it. There is nothing you can do unless you start going out of your way to not see her.
I'm in the same boat, waiting for her to say something like that to me. We both have a class that starts at the same time (different classes) in the same building. We both get to the parking lot near the same time and park near each other. We both go to class and leave the class at the same time and head to our next classes which are in the same building again. We see each other a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm stalking her/she's stalking me, it's just something that happens due to the setup.
Someone Much cooler
Senior Don Juan
yeah i understand, what i'm sayin is if they are gonna be around each other alot wether they want to or onot, then he might as well make the best of it and try and get @ her.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.