"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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running Attention Wh0re game

sosilky

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KontrollerX mentioned that there are two types of histrionic personality disordered women in the world ie the pathological kind of AW and they are dealt with in somewhat different ways from eachother. Not too differently mind you but there are different techniques at dealing with each.

Anybody familiar with these differnt techniques? wether it be getting them interested or geting them interested again.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

KontrollerX

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If either type falls out of the false fantasy daydream kind of love its usually game over for the guy involved with them and especially so if after she ditches him he chases her wondering what went wrong because there is usually no warning signs that the AW is going to turn on you soon and run off with her new ready made soulmate Bob the bald boring 40 year old bastard she met at Jiffy Lube or Raymond the 19 year old overweight otaku tard with severe acne.

If a guy knows what he's been dealing with and doesn't chase she may come back to see if you still want and care about her and then after she gets enough of that validation she's gone again this time with the night manager at Mcdonald's.

So to keep her around in that scenario initiate breakups with her so she can get her emotional high and want you again since they only want what they can't have and keep doing this for as long as it works.

Alternatively if she doesn't come back to you find some way to make her jealous, let her see you around with some new hot chick or aquire a big social group and a lot of status among women and men.

She may start to yearn for you from this from not only appearing to move on effortlessly in life without her but because your newfound status screams attention goldmine to her.

In her mind if she can win you back not only does her fragile ego get a boost where she can feel worth something again but also to have you she gets the attention being the girlfriend of...
 
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sosilky

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what if?

KontrollerX said:
If either type falls out of the false fantasy daydream kind of love its usually game over for the guy involved with them and especially so if after she ditches him he chases her wondering what went wrong because there is usually no warning signs that the AW is going to turn on you soon and run off with her new ready made soulmate Bob the white trash 40 year old janitor or Raymond the 19 year old overweight otaku tard with severe acne.

If a guy knows what he's been dealing with and doesn't chase she may come back to see if you still want and care about her and then after she gets enough of that validation she's gone again this time with the night manager at Mcdonald's.

So to keep her around in that scenario initiate breakups with her so she can get her emotional high and want you again since they only want what they can't have and keep doing this for as long as it works.

Alternatively if she doesn't come back to you find some way to make her jealous, let her see you around with some new hot chick or aquire a big social group and a lot of status among women and men.

She may start to yearn for you from this from not only appearing to move on effortlessly in life without her but because your newfound status screams attention goldmine to her.

In her mind if she can win you back not only does her fragile ego get a boost where she can feel worth something again but also to have you she gets the attention being the girlfriend of...
What if she pissed you off but you overreacted by severly yelling and insulting her tryed to aapologize and haven't talked for a month? lol no but seriously what if? by the way did you get my PM Reply Kontroller?
 

KontrollerX

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Well remember they are babies in adult female body's so in their case a little AFC sweet talk and supplication just might do the trick and bring her around.

Its a risk though as not all AW's love this sort of thing as it can be taken as the chasing love that drives them away.

So this technique is a risk so its a highly personal decision for you to make of whether you're going to use it or not.

After all if it crash's and burns you're going to feel like a pansy symp b!tch.

The other tactics I already posted in this thread have a much higher success rate and can be applied to your situation so no worries about that.
 

sosilky

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KontrollerX said:
Well remember they are babies in adult female body's so in their case a little AFC sweet talk and supplication just might do the trick and bring her around.

Its a risk though as not all AW's love this sort of thing as it can be taken as the chasing love that drives them away.

So this technique is a risk so its a highly personal decision for you to make of whether you're going to use it or not.

After all if it crash's and burns you're going to feel like a pansy symp b!tch.

The other tactics I already posted in this thread have a much higher success rate and can be applied to your situation so no worries about that.
very interesting me and her had another 2 or 3 month time with out talking and acts of kindness did not help in mending things. we wound up breaking the ice again because she thought i was sending nasty text messages through random numbers. then she called! anyways thats partly why I broke down and insulted her. I thought maybe she would respond to that. well that di the oposite this time lol. anyways here's my full story http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=142108&page=2&highlight=back thanks again for your help Kontroller. let me know if you have any other ideas after reading the story. our story is peculiar. we were a generaly down low relationship liked to keep things down low. yet sometimes i wondered why she wouldn't bring me around her friends. (a clue of attention ***** activity) yet she made an effort to in the begining. until we started having little tiffs. perhaps we had higher or unreasonable expectations of eachother. ok i'm pontificating now. thanx again for your help kontroler. please read my story. by the way i looked up histrionic personality disorder and the traits online don't seem to go along with your diagoses. for example it says that they are prone to becoming attached quickly.
 
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“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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KontrollerX

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Yours wasn't all over you quickly you mean?

Thats part of what it means by attachment pertaining to them.

Its being all over you and clingy basically the stage where you can do no wrong often called the white knight stage before they paint you black and want nothing to do with you or begin hating you and wanting nothing to do with you.
 

Telos

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KontrollerX said:
If either type falls out of the false fantasy daydream kind of love its usually game over for the guy involved with them and especially so if after she ditches him he chases her wondering what went wrong because there is usually no warning signs that the AW is going to turn on you soon and run off with her new ready made soulmate Bob the bald boring 40 year old bastard she met at Jiffy Lube or Raymond the 19 year old overweight otaku tard with severe acne.

If a guy knows what he's been dealing with and doesn't chase she may come back to see if you still want and care about her and then after she gets enough of that validation she's gone again this time with the night manager at Mcdonald's.

So to keep her around in that scenario initiate breakups with her so she can get her emotional high and want you again since they only want what they can't have and keep doing this for as long as it works.

Alternatively if she doesn't come back to you find some way to make her jealous, let her see you around with some new hot chick or aquire a big social group and a lot of status among women and men.

She may start to yearn for you from this from not only appearing to move on effortlessly in life without her but because your newfound status screams attention goldmine to her.

In her mind if she can win you back not only does her fragile ego get a boost where she can feel worth something again but also to have you she gets the attention being the girlfriend of...
This is insanely spot on. I've dealt with this type before a few times, the first time I got burned badly and it took a long time for me to recover and realize what the f*ck had happened, but the second time around I was prepared and secured the most wicked hot freaky ass f*ck buddy ever. You just have to make sure you are capable of completely disassociating yourself from them emotionally, and that's pretty easy to do if you don't buy into their candy coated fantasy world.
 

sosilky

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KontrollerX said:
Yours wasn't all over you quickly you mean?

Thats part of what it means by attachment pertaining to them.

Its being all over you and clingy basically the stage where you can do no wrong often called the white knight stage before they paint you black and want nothing to do with you or begin hating you and wanting nothing to do with you.

I guess she was like that at first but I don't think I could have done no wrong. I mean there are certain things I could have gotten away with with her i suppose. But the first time we started a downsloap is when I git beligerantly drunk, got emotional and called her out on another guy she was seeing. Then again this was soon in the relationship and I embarresed her. Maybe even AWs don't forgive that. anywyas if you have any more advice its appreciated. My full story is in the link provided in my previous reply.
 

KontrollerX

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They take extreme offense to being called out because you are supposed to be their property ie an object that fulfills only a function that they want you to fulfill and getting angry and emotional at them isn't one of those functions that they'd like to see from their TV set, refrigerator or microwave which to them you are really no different than.

Even when a guy knows the game and works the AW just right like Telos has done they will still test you by cheating on you.

And well cheatings function by them isn't only as a means to test you but its also practically necessary for them because they literally need more and more and more new excitement, attention and validation that they are still attractive and worth something.

One man's attention and validation of them typically isn't enough.

Being the ultimate DJ of a man isn't enough either as they do not value your unique traits as a human being and so get no extra boost out of what you bring to the table other than your role as an object serving base functions that they require.

Oh and some guys swear their AW's never cheated on them during the relationship but they are most likely wrong.

Instead they were probably gaming the AW so well for a good long while that she still cheated on him but kept it extremely hidden and didn't test him with jealousy games for fear of losing her ideal man.

Guys like this lose the AW when they go AFC and symp the fvck out.

They having done so well become convinced that they were wrong to think of their girl as mentally messed up because after all she's behaved so well with them that maybe her being messed up was all in their minds so they start to give this emotional vampire and blackhole of need their heart and then they get swallowed and spit out back into cold hard reality and the AW then leaves them with one of the many men she was seeing behind this guy's back that he didn't know about and then he comes on forums like this asking how she can get with someone immediately after all that they had together and I will then say to them it wasn't immediately it was likely going on from the start of your relationship with her or two or three months before she broke it off with you but you just didn't see it and not necessarily because you were blinded by love but because they just know how to hide their tracks so well.

They are natural born predators after all.

That or they are made that way through parental (mostly motherly) neglect while babies.

Guys here often get the mistaken impression that AW's ie the pathological kind like BPD and HPD are formed via daddy issues and that is mostly just not true.

It is the interaction or lack there of with the mother while a baby that determines whether a girl will grow up HPD or BPD.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

sosilky

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KontrollerX said:
They take extreme offense to being called out because you are supposed to be their property ie an object that fulfills only a function that they want you to fulfill and getting angry and emotional at them isn't one of those functions that they'd like to see from their TV set, refrigerator or microwave which to them you are really no different than.

Even when a guy knows the game and works the AW just right like Telos has done they will still test you by cheating on you.

And well cheatings function by them isn't only as a means to test you but its also practically necessary for them because they literally need more and more and more new excitement, attention and validation that they are still attractive and worth something.

One man's attention and validation of them typically isn't enough.

Being the ultimate DJ of a man isn't enough either as they do not value your unique traits as a human being and so get no extra boost out of what you bring to the table other than your role as an object serving base functions that they require.

Oh and some guys swear their AW's never cheated on them during the relationship but they are most likely wrong.

Instead they were probably gaming the AW so well for a good long while that she still cheated on him but kept it extremely hidden and didn't test him with jealousy games for fear of losing her ideal man.

Guys like this lose the AW when they go AFC and symp the fvck out.

They having done so well become convinced that they were wrong to think of their girl as mentally messed up because after all she's behaved so well with them that maybe her being messed up was all in their minds so they start to give this emotional vampire and blackhole of need their heart and then they get swallowed and spit out back into cold hard reality and the AW then leaves them with one of the many men she was seeing behind this guy's back that he didn't know about and then he comes on forums like this asking how she can get with someone immediately after all that they had together and I will then say to them it wasn't immediately it was likely going on from the start of your relationship with her or two or three months before she broke it off with you but you just didn't see it and not necessarily because you were blinded by love but because they just know how to hide their tracks so well.

They are natural born predators after all.

That or they are made that way through parental (mostly motherly) neglect while babies.

Guys here often get the mistaken impression that AW's ie the pathological kind like BPD and HPD are formed via daddy issues and that is mostly just not true.

It is the interaction or lack there of with the mother while a baby that determines whether a girl will grow up HPD or BPD.
Holy Cow! you are to good with these girls. She was adopted and had an abusive mother. I think that falls under what you were talking about. and if i didn't do the investigating I did I probably would have never known what was going on behind me back. ANswer me this: is there any hope for these girls? Scary. Well the question still remains. How do I get her to talk to me again so I can hate nail her and blow a load on her face? You said send an email inviting her out also mentioning that i have other choices I will have to go with if she doesn't. Isn't that kind of forward since I havent talked to her in a month because we had a falling out and then I tried apologizing? Don't I have to ease back into it?
 
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KontrollerX

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"is there any hope for these girls? Scary."

Only professional therapy and it is not a guaranteed fix.

It varies in effectiveness from one Cluster B Personality Disordered patient to another and for maximum chance at effectiveness the patient must be absolutely committed to the process of healing.

There are no pills and medications for the personality disorders themselves to cure them either.

Pills are only given if depression or someother pharmaceautically treatable condition is present alongside the personality disorder.

Oh and before you ask no you cannot save them/help them recover from it by yourself or through your love.

Supporting them is alright ie emotional support but only when it is verified that they are in professional therapy and you can get verification of their attendance from a credible outside source such as a parent that knows what their daughter is and is willing to share this information with you.

Most parents do not know their child has this illness because they either have it themselves or have never heard of it before and just noticed their daughter has had troubles in life and chalked it up to having troubles like everyone else or to a restless spirit or someother misinformed but well meaning nonsense that any normal rational person who does not know of these disorder's existance might think of.

"Well the question still remains. How do I get her to talk to me again so I can hate nail her and blow a load on her face? You said send an email inviting her out also mentioning thay i have other choices I will have to go with if she doesn't. Isn't that kind of forward since I have talked to her in a month because we had a falling out and then I tried apologizing? Don't I have to ease back into it?"

No easing back into it.

Just act like the bad stuff never happened between the both of you and invite her to some great place that she would want to go to and be casual about it.

If by some chance she does bring up the bad stuff between you just say well that was a long time ago I thought we were passed that now?

Then if she insists you apologize to her and does this angrily like it is a demand say on second thought you think this whole thing is a bad idea, wish her well then say goodbye and hang up the phone.

If she acts girlish about wanting you to apologize and goofy apologize in a joking way and try not to stay on that issue for too long afterwards.

Get the apology out of the way by making a joke of it all and then move on to the date with her.
 

sosilky

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KontrollerX said:
No easing back into it.

Just act like the bad stuff never happened between the both of you and invite her to some great place that she would want to go to and be casual about it.

If by some chance she does bring up the bad stuff between you just say well that was a long time ago I thought we were passed that now?

Then if she insists you apologize to her and does this angrily like it is a demand say on second thought you think this whole thing is a bad idea, wish her well then say goodbye and hang up the phone.

If she acts girlish about wanting you to apologize and goofy apologize in a joking way and try not to stay on that issue for too long afterwards.

Get the apology out of the way by making a joke of it all and then move on to the date with her.
You know these chicks to well Kontroller. Sometimes I feel like she needs so much attention because she has been adopted and had bad experiences with family and relationships and her families live far away. She still has guys from years ago sending her ****! She'll be like I don't know why they do this? Shut up I know hotter and cooler guys then you that don't get this attention. Seems Insane! feel like i make acceptions because of her tough child hood but damn enough is enough.

Is it possible to make repeated mistakes with these girls and still have them come back? (like the same thing over and over again?) that would be awsome. their mental state from your view tells me yes.
 

KontrollerX

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"Is it possible to make repeated mistakes with these girls and still have them come back? (like the same thing over and over again?) that would be awsome. their mental state from your view tells me yes."

If the mistake was chasing her trying to figure out what went wrong when she coldly ends the relationship I'd say this usually ends it for good as they get the validation that you absolutely love and want them.

Then they can feel free to deny your love much like their parents denied loving them when they were a baby.

Of course they don't consciously understand this is why they don't let you back into their lives, they just get extremely unattracted and disgusted towards you but therapy almost always reveals the disdain for you was a result of issues with their parents and they then feel absolutely awful about the way they acted towards you, it makes them cry for days, genuine tears this time and they hurt so incredibly badly. I know this because I found it out from an HPD I talked with who was considering therapy and wanted my opinion on whether she should go forward with it or not. I told her she wanted to do this and only needed someone to verify it was a good decision and said I approved so she went and felt horrible but also she began to find out who she really was so it was all worth it despite the horrible pain and remorse that she felt over what the disorder had influenced her to do throughout the course of her life.

Succesful therapy also lets them become close to being normal people and they view all of their past interactions as extremely self destructive and can now tell the predatory men from the men that really loved them but since the guys that really loved them tended to be sick themselves via co-dependancy the recovering AW isn't likely to go back to any of them because she would now want to have a healthy relationship with someone for a change of pace.

Clean slate as it were.

Anyway something else I want to say about the guys that chase them...

Its a long shot but if that guy eventually stops chasing them for whatever reason and goes years of no contact and then suddenly re-appears on her radar ie she sees him out and about happy as can be looking successful with a new and hotter chick under his arm this may make her want him again because there is new life in his eyes and new challenge to conquer and vampire off of as well a need to get her validation back from you now that you are a new man.

Many of them might not get this need but there are some AW who I think would.

So could you despite making mistakes this large or even small with them win them back at some point?

I'd say its possible but you'd have to be very patient and be in the right place at the right time.

Which is why DJ's just encourage you forget about such a chick and focus your time on attracting healthy women rather than wait and plot to win back an AW who can never give you what you want (outside of sex) from her anyway ie love, affection and a real relationship basically.

You will never get a real relationship from an AW based on trust and mutual respect.

As long as she is unrecovered she will be a danger to your mental health.

Even to guys that make a decision to cut off their emotions towards them the AW have a way of getting to you over time.

In truth only sociopaths the most dangerous of Cluster B or Narcissists the second most dangerous are truly qualified to handle and have an AW since they have no emotions at all and simply focus on winning the game and doing it better than an HPD or BPD ever could.
 

sosilky

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KontrollerX said:
"Is it possible to make repeated mistakes with these girls and still have them come back? (like the same thing over and over again?) that would be awsome. their mental state from your view tells me yes."

If the mistake was chasing her trying to figure out what went wrong when she coldly ends the relationship I'd say this usually ends it for good as they get the validation that you absolutely love and want them.

Well I'll admit I do tend to try and apologize and with emails and texts stuff like that which she normaly doesn't respond well too.
I guess the mistakes I was talking about was acting like a jerk when out drinking or insulting her stuff like that. (Not that she didn't provoke me but obviously she doesn't see it that way)
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

KontrollerX

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Oh yeah they should forgive you for stuff like that so long as you are still their fantasy ideal guy.

It is said AW tend to be very forgiving.

Really though their forgiveness doesn't come from a generous heart, its simply a result of them being too lost in their various fantasies and daydreams to seriously hold onto anger for you for very long at all.

They easily forgive the jerk side and even are attracted to it but insulting them and especially insulting their looks by outright calling them ugly or something that doesn't get forgiven well or at all.

Neg hits are fine though like say you just met an AW in a bar or wherever and she tries to get you to tell her how attractive she is then you flick your cigarette at her feet and say meh, I've seen better. Besides I think you're too young to handle me.
 

sosilky

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KontrollerX said:
Oh yeah they should forgive you for stuff like that so long as you are still their fantasy ideal guy.

what is this fantasy ideal guy?

They easily forgive the jerk side and even are attracted to it but insulting them and especially insulting their looks by outright calling them ugly or something that doesn't get forgiven well or at all.

Uh Oh why is that? Thoiught maybe she would want the attention of feeling attracted by the guy that siad previously she was getting old and gravity is taking over lol dude I insulted everything from her upbringing to her future. So did her ex. So I figured go for it. If you read my story you'll notice when I try to do nice things she doesn't respond. she called me over the holidays cause she thought i was sending her nast text mesages. no it was her ex. so i resorted. but proly not a good idea. didn't work for me this time. plus whatever she wasn't always filled with compliments for me if i was out of shape she would call me out. And she said herself gravity was taking over her body. maybe shouldn't have come from me. just knew it would press her buttons. still tell me why you say its not forgiven well or at all and how to handle it please.

 

KontrollerX

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"what is this fantasy ideal guy?"

A person that doesn't exist ie a fantasy.

The attention wh0re conjures a perfect man up in her mind and the perfect man for her is one who can finally fulfill all of her life long needs for love and finally take her pain away and never being able to hold onto love. The perfect man also never makes mistakes, can read her mind, and knows and can recite the names of all U.S presidents in reverse order.

Ok just kidding about that last one lol but now I think you know what this means to be the ideal man for an AW.

Anyway with any new guy that becomes the main man that they stay with but cheat on with many short "flings" she projects the ideal man fantasy onto him and stays with him for as long as this image of perfection is not broken in her mind towards him.

"Uh Oh why is that? Thoiught maybe she would want the attention of feeling attracted by the guy that siad previously she was getting old and gravity is taking over lol dude I insulted everything from her upbringing to her future. So did her ex. So I figured go for it."

Well they tend to like the jerk because remember they want what they can't have and what they want to get from the jerk is his love for her so that then they can move on and abandon this man's love as their mother abandoned symbollically her love for her daughter by leaving or neglecting her in some way when she was young.

As for why the looks insults are not so easily forgiven...

Well by just being an AW they have so many impairments from the personality disorder that they cannot truly love themselves or find themselves of value. Value and love that they can hold onto and draw strength from you know?

It kind of pours out of them like a sieve so they spend their time with a lot of distractions so as not to focus on the emptiness of their life where it pertains to love and where it pertains to personal growth etc.

Looks are one of the things that stay with them for quite a while and it is something they can come to depend on and count on.

After all it gets them their much needed attention and validation.

So I think they get so offended even worse than a normal woman would when you call them ugly because of all the things in life that they have come to believe (most often mistakenly) that they cannot depend on looks are not one of those things ie they can depend on looks and by you attacking that you are attacking all that they are.

Sad huh?

At the end of the day looks are all they have.

"WOW the complexity in here is amazing."

Yep.

They are quite complicated creatures.

Funny thing is when they go into therapy the therapist is often fooled that true progress is occuring and it then turns out that the HPD was only acting the part for the therapist and trying not to dissapoint.

Also since they are bigtime story tellers and all about the dream world that they live in they continually get caught up in new stories that they weave as well which is why therapists that are clued in to what they are dealing with tend to set a cut off date for treatment of an HPD.

It helps to bring them into reality that way and make the therapy session real if they really want to get cured since their being a cut off date they just can't continue to spin a dream world that can be lived in for years and expanded while the therapist plays their unwitting audience thinking progress is being made.

Sometimes they are so determined to live in the dream world and not be truly helped that they will just switch therapists each time they run into one that sets a cut off date.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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