Ruined Date

[Vikman]

I went out on a date with girl tonight. We ate, and then went back to my place. Everything was going fine. I layed kino on her and did exactly what this website said. She was even giving all the right signals.

I go in for the kiss, at my apartment, in my bedroom and then she backs off and ducks. She said that she might like another guy (who lives 10 hours away she met online and who might have a gf). She said that she was feeling really confused; I tried to reason with her about all of this(told her not to see the guy who lives 10 hours away and might have a gf) and she asked me to bring her back home.

What happened? What possibly went wrong? And, what should I do now?

 

[Stéphane]

You tried to negotiate to get into her pants, what were you thinking? You needed to say "That's cool" , and keep using kino. That was a **** test, and you failed harcore.

 

[Vikman]

Whoa- I was not trying to get into her pants. All I did was bring up the fact that the guy lives 10 hrs away, you never met him and he might have a gf. I also said to her 'that's cool'.

 

[Stéphane]

I tried to reason with her about all of this(told her not to see the guy who lives 10 hours away and might have a gf)

Then WTF is this, don't BS me.

 

[Vikman]

Yea- all I did was remind her about the circumstances about the other guy. That's it.

You tried to negotiate to get into her pants, what were you thinking? You needed to say "That's cool" , and keep using kino. That was a **** test, and you failed harcore.

I did not negotiate- in fact, I even told her thats fine b/c I didnt want to make her feel uncomfortable.

I just want to know what to do now.

 

[amoka]

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your endeavor. Not many people make it to where you did...
Secondly, the first mistake I noticed was when you took her to your bedroom start kissing her. Kissing should be done in the living room, if not before entering your house. Any girl that goes on a date with you and comes to your house after the date knows very well of what she wants. She knows she wanted to get fucked but then, after she realized there was no action going on when you brought her over, she begun playing gave with. Her having a boyfriend thing is bullshit. Much worse: she is not sure her fantasized boyfriend who she met online might have a girlfriend. BS. She definitely trying the mess up with your minds. Let her know you're not in for game. She had her chance of being with you and she just lost the privilege. Don't give her any attention. Girl like her deserve no second chance...

 

[LostAndConfused]

Amoka while thats all good and true, unless Vikman is leaving out key details (ie she gave him a HUGE opening and he didnt take it, or he pulled some milktoast AFC move), I doubt she'd really flake if he tried to kiss her in the wrong location, as long as he kept his cool and controlled the situation like a man should. But I agree with the rest of what you said.

 

[Vikman]

Actually even b4 the date I knew about the other guy and his potential gf.

Should I ever contact her again?

 

[amoka]

Actually even b4 the date I knew about the other guy and his potential gf.

Should I ever contact her again?

What for? Are you trying to be her options? Just in case she is unsuccessful with her imagined online guy?

 

[Vikman]

Dude, during the date, the guy's 'gf' called her up and talked smack to her. Now, she had no clue that the guy had a gf. That's why she was confused.

But, you didnt answer my question, should I ever contact her again?

 

[Vikman]

I understand totally (no contact), im just a lil bummed out. I mean she was in my frickin room and I couldn't close the deal.

BTW, what exactly does she have to apologize for?

 

[Obsidian]

agreed.

And you also screwed up by giving her the impression that it was okay to answer the phone while you were on your date.

 

[Vikman]

Whoa- you can't answer the phone when you're on a date?

I understand where you're coming from, but I cannot agree with that.

 

[EFFORT]

I went out on a date with girl tonight. We ate, and then went back to my place. Everything was going fine. I layed kino on her and did exactly what this website said. She was even giving all the right signals.

good job

I go in for the kiss, at my apartment, in my bedroom and then she backs off and ducks.

pretty token

She said that she might like another guy (who lives 10 hours away she met online and who might have a gf). She said that she was feeling really confused;

"yeah lifes a *****" (go for kiss again)

I tried to reason with her about all of this(told her not to see the guy who lives 10 hours away and might have a gf)

chicks are beyond reasoning, don't ever try to reason with one be in the bedroom or for anything


and she asked me to bring her back home.

that sucks

What happened?

You didn't get her horny enough to want sex from you

What possibly went wrong?
There wasn't enough sexual tension built up between you two and you also didn't come off as a sex worthy guy, if she really wanted to have sex with you then she would of

And, what should I do now?

message her and say that you think shes cool but if theres going to be no sex its not going to work......if that doesn't end it then you'll be getting sex next time

bold

 

[Vikman]

its best to ignore her.

Trust me, I will ignore her, I'm just really bummed out of the whole situation.

 

[Bible_Belt]

oh well, live and learn.

This part was the mistake, the reasoning with her, as others have pointed out.

Whoa- I was not trying to get into her pants. All I did was bring up the fact that the guy lives 10 hrs away, you never met him and he might have a gf.

But now you know. Next time will go better.

 

[Jitterbug]

You encountered a pretty big LMR. I think it's because you failed to apply the "one thing leads to another" method. You know how chicks describe it. You should've started kissing her way earlier, before you even got back to your apartment. Say, at the traffic lights on the way back (if you were walking back), or in the car, in the elevator, whatever. Then tone it down a bit when you get back, show her some cool stuff in your cave, then escalate to a more serious makeout session on the couch, take off one thing at a time, and all the way to the bedroom. One thing leads to another... You waited until you got her into the bedroom to go for one big bang. Big mistake. That never works, unless she's paid and/or you have a camera and a website.

Don't listen to her explanation. It was just some random sh!t she came up with while under pressure. You laid too much pressure on her at that point. The pressure was that the moment before you two were in the bedroom together, nothing romantic/sexual had happened, but all of a sudden she had to make her mind up about sex in that one moment. That is why you need the "one thing leads to another" method to slowly turn up the sexual volume knob, as women don't have an on/off switch like we do. As you escalate slowly, she'll be more comfortable with your lead and will forget about some random dude living 10h away when she's receiving mind-blowing orgasms from you.

Better luck next time.

 

[Harmonix]

Hey what should I do when I'm on a date and the chick I'm with answers the phone, (eg. parents calling), what should I do? I was thinking if I go all disappointed the chick I'm with might go WTF? lol

 

[mutambo]

Hey what should I do when I'm on a date and the chick I'm with answers the phone, (eg. parents calling), what should I do? I was thinking if I go all disappointed the chick I'm with might go WTF? lol

I think there is no harm in a short conversation.. if it last longer than let's say two minutes im outta there.

 

[LeComteDeMonteCristo]

Whoa- you can't answer the phone when you're on a date?

I understand where you're coming from, but I cannot agree with that.

What?

That is as much a part of good manners as saying please and thank you and holding the door open for the person behind you.

And I'm not talking about "Don Juan rules" or whatever, I mean basic common courtesy.