Ruined a New Years Chance.

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Me and this girl work at this nightclub on new years eve and previously weve establish rapport and stuff so things have been pretty good lately.

I was a yardie and she's a barmaid there so everything is in close proximity like bumping into each other and sharing funny stories we've seen that night.

I think this girl is into me because shes initiated the kino like bumping into me intentionally and barging me out of the way playfully and even grabbing me and putting me in a head lock and stealing my glowsticks for the party (but returned it soon after). Basically she was vying for my attention and I played into it but got busy on other things straight away.

After the club closed we cleaned up the place together and we were just playing around there and teasing her. I was like slapping her on the a** to make her fall off the railing when she was sitting on it. Teaasing her when some guy makes an drunken AFC comment on her a**. So when we finished our shifts she asked what I was up to and suggested we go to a 24hr shop for food (the time was 4am) but 2 of our friends asked to join in so the chance to be isolated had to wait.

One of my friends just assumed we were hooking up already so that kind of put ideas in her head or something. We were eating at the shop then decided we will call it a night but she mentioned that her old apartment still needs cleaning (i previously offered to help her clean a few days back) and that she wont be able to crash yet. So I offered to come around soon as I drop my friends off and have a shower. I then got her digits and said I'll call wen I'm ready.

When I got to her place, it was already cleaned as it is!!! I only did like 30mins of ligt work and wiping down cupboards...So the question is Was it definitely on there???

I also noticed that she changed her clothes and her hair not a bit of mess in it. She continued on her light bumping and also while I was sittingon the chair wiping dirt, she stood on the same chair without even just asking me so her legs and thighs were touching my back. I was being CnF with her the whole time and even laid down on the couch with my feet on her lap. I was challenging her to try and hit me cos I was being mean and cheeky to her lol. We had breakfast at McDonalds then had a lil more chat before going home to sleep.

This girl started talking about her misfortunes with her friends and other peoples lives and such so I dont know if shes got the hots for me or just wants to be friends.I always try to relate to her stories then straightaway direct the convo to a more positive note.

So is there anything I missed out? I wish there was a show called DJ eye for the AFC guy. Was there definitely hook up overdue there?

If I did muck this one up is there a chance I could pick this up and continue on next week when I see her? I know the co-worker thing aint good but half of the people there are either f*cking or dating with no problems. By the way I would mind laying the mack on the other 5 girls there but I integrate the whole cool personality on every girl I meet regardless.

 

[superman2k6]

one of the DJ principles is to not be a therapist for a girl's problems, but like you said, you tried to steer the conversation away from that.

however from my experience, it's not as if "oh if a girl talks about her problems then she DEFINITELY only wants to be friends".

with my last gf, our 1st deep & meaningful convo, she told me about all the tragedies from her life and ended up being with me for 6 months and only broke up because i moved interstate

to ensure that she will see you as more than a friend, you have to make it clear that you're flirting with her to show that you're interested without being AFC and qualifying to her

you can do this by holding long eye contact with her, and for a bit of kino you should've used games such as palm reading while maintaing strong eye contact (lemme know if you want any examples of this, i'm just too tired to type it out right now)

and from there on, you can go onto a kiss test

 

[sapphire]

Originally posted by superman2k6
one of the DJ principles is to not be a therapist for a girl's problems, but like you said, you tried to steer the conversation away from that.

however from my experience, it's not as if "oh if a girl talks about her problems then she DEFINITELY only wants to be friends".

with my last gf, our 1st deep & meaningful convo, she told me about all the tragedies from her life and ended up being with me for 6 months and only broke up because i moved interstate

to ensure that she will see you as more than a friend, you have to make it clear that you're flirting with her to show that you're interested without being AFC and qualifying to her

you can do this by holding long eye contact with her, and for a bit of kino you should've used games such as palm reading while maintaing strong eye contact (lemme know if you want any examples of this, i'm just too tired to type it out right now)

and from there on, you can go onto a kiss test

Yes, I agree. Just because a girl starts dishing out her problems does not mean she sees you only as a friend. Nonetheless, you need to sexualize your interaction with her ASAP meaning stepping up the kino, etc.. Otherwise she will write you off as just an emotional tampon/friend.

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Thanks for the reply.


Now did I ruin my chance if I didnt make any moves when I was at her apartment or did she see it as me playing hard to get? I want to make my move on her on Thurs night as I'm inviting her to join me for drinks where we work.

If nothing happens then I'll stay friends with her and try on other girls. The way I behave around wont change if she rejects me but if things pan out right then I'll have to escalate from there

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Ok, I rang her tonight and had a really fun chat and gother laughing on the phone. I asked her what her new address is and she gave it to me. Then I asked her heck what are you up to we should catch up (she was jokingly mention that I give her free filtered water from this new place I work)

Now I got to her place and she was sitting on the ground outside reading a magazine...ok this is weird but she didn't seem the fun person on the phone and things got boring and quitened down. Plus I find it rude that shes texting her friend back and fro the whole time I was there. Now I'm started to get bored and feel snubbed. Shes all different now. She'd rather play phone msging with her friend than entertaining a guest.

Her RED FLAGS:
She mentions she gets *****y, likes to be alone sometime. Lives by herself in a 3 bedroom apartment. She was treating me with 2nd rate behaviour by sticking by next to the phone the whole time I was there. So I had no choice but to get up and leave...we previously made plans to catch up for drinks on thurs night but I have doubts on that now. She says she will send me a msg then and I just said ok as if I couldn't give a f*ck. I just said well I dont want to keep you up your pretty tired, I'm going to cruise home.

Well this is a next'd but It annoys me that I must have burst the bubble of attraction cos it seems to have died out. This has happened before with another girl who was really into me and I literally killed it with my anxiety, my CnF self died and I became a boring AFC....Damnit why does this happen once I get a good start then it goes downhill.

I need to find out why this keeps happenin so I know what to do and not to do. I dunno why I seem to die in the ass after the first good solid starts.

 

[superman2k6]

Man don't beat yourself up about this

It's easy to let your guard down and revert back to your old ways, just always remind yourself. I used to have the same problem. You see, you have to practice your DJ ways so much that it becomes 2nd nature to you

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Got drunk on Hospitality night...

Kissed her at the pool party..kissed her other friend a lil earlier

Shes not happy and making my job harder where I work.

But I'm just laughin it off. Shes always the cranky one.

I am the one being chased around and got options...she will have to chase me now.

I feel like a d*ck for kissing her and her friend (both barmaids) at the same night and they might hav known about it too. But meh..who cares I'm leaving town anyway