You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Heroeverywomanshero said:If you've gotten so desperate that you're willing to pay men of dubious nature, it's probably time to think about spending a little of that $$ on psychological help for esteem/self-concept issues instead. I haven't met any of the particular people so I won't pass specific judgement on them, but kid if you think those guys have the answers to your problems, you're just prolonging your recovery to a healthy life which naturally includes intimacy.
Basically, my take is that thinking some random dude is going to give you the magic bullet that avoids your need to address the funk of depression, low self concept, or whatever is your actual root problem is delusional. Furthermore, believing that some kind of trick or something other than a willingness to engage others and show your true personality is needed is also delusional and is perhaps the reason you're not already dating a beautiful and successful woman.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.