R's Boot Camp Diary

[Asteconn]

Well, I've been inspired by a few other diaries kicking about. So this here is mine.

By letting everyone know about my progress, I now have an incentive to make serious effort to do it; as opposed to be a bit half arsed about it. Comment if you like.

Week 1

Day 1: Today, monday, I usually work on site for a small training company with 2 other employees. Sounds dull, can be at times. Anyway - During lunch, I nip to the shops nearby and buys some stuff. Unfortunately for me, some fool had pretty much dropped their tank of petrol onto the forecourt, and the fire brigade were there hosing it off. That meant the place wasn't too busy. Needless to say though, I said hello to 6 complete strangers: 3 customers, all guys; 2 members of staff, both ladies, neither particularly attractive; and one fire-woman.

University tomorrow! Should see plenty of randoms to say hi to

Day 2. Up to 17 now. Mostly women of various qualities. I'm surprised at actually how good a mood it puts you in. People look a bit shocked when you say hello to them. I didn't say Hi to anyone at the gym, most were busy working out, so I left them to it. Didn't miss much though =P

More tomorrow

Day 4 now. I'm on 35 hellos =D. Took advantage of a careers fair to say hello to plenty of people. I'm no DJ, but there was one very attractive young lady on one of the stands, so I asked for her number after talking to her for a few minutes. No success, but I felt good for at least asking =] 15 to go for tomorrow! =D

Day 7: Clocked up a total of about 51 hellos. =D I lost count a couple of times, but erred on the side of caution as not to unduely credit myself with anything I'd not achieved.

Over the last week I've been to the Gym 3 times, and made a special effort today to go there (as I forgot my kit on Friday, when I'd usually go)

Week 2 starts tomorrow!

 

[jdon23]

+1 Good job man!! Keep going!! And yes I agree with you, saying hello to random people makes you feel good.

 

[Asteconn]

+1 Good job man!! Keep going!! And yes I agree with you, saying hello to random people makes you feel good.

Thanks. I was really surprised at it's effectiveness actually. If ever I feel poor again I'll just go out and say hello to people =D

I've just read the task for week 2; should be challenging. I'm going to take advantage of my weekly night out with my mates on Wednesday especially I think, hoping that the place will be busy of course.

 

[Asteconn]

Week 2, Day 1

I knew that this wasn't going to be easy, and especially so as I got next to no sleep last night (for all of the wrong reasons). So, in the spirit of the challenge I threw myself at it with some vigour, with a pinch of pepper.

As it's a Monday, I do my usual thing of go on site for this small training company; which curtails my ability to interact with people somewhat, as there are only 2 people in that office. At lunch however, I took the opportunity to get into the swing of things by engaging in random chatter to one of the workers in the Tesco that I frequent for my lunch. Nothing exictin really, just discussed the fuel spillage the week before. She wasn't too interested in chatting though.

Having procured my lunch (some chicken and a couple of bottles of squash) and joined the queue, I noticed a middle-aged woman (about a 5) eying up the chocolate near the tills. I used that as a starting comment saying something like "Just looking at it is unhealthy". She seemed to appreciate the comment, and managed to talk for about 30 seconds or so before it was my turn to pay for stuff and go.

After work, I had a training thing at uni, and I took the opportunity of the ice breaking exercise to solicit some interaction. I talked to one girl for a minute or two, but I ran dry and she disappeared. A little later, I had some much greater success with another woman, talked about assorted stuff for quite a while. Really my only success story of the day to be honest.

Let's see what tomorrow brings

 

[jdon23]

Good work! Keep on it

You seem to be learning how to pick up small details.. this is a KEY to carrying on a conversation. I work as a cashier and I have to talk to people CONSTANTLY. I used to be scared to even talk to the customer.. hell I even felt embarrassed at them looking at me. Now I am the one to break the ice, and smile at them. It completely changes their mood. I have learned "people".. its quite a good skill to have.

The secret is that there isn't a secret. The more you get inside your head and say "omg what am i gonna say next?? come on!! think fiaster!!" the more you will come off as anxious and awkward.

What I used to do was just pretend that i've known the person for my whole life. This took away any pressure because I already knew the person accepted me, so I didn't need their validation. I could talk about anything I wanted.. and casually and funny too.

But now I've reached a point where I am so comfortable with myself that I just project my image upon whoever I meet. I don't have to "coach" myself anymore. Its just natural

 

[coolf1r3]

How do you plan these weeks out? Like, week 1 goals, week 2 goals, etc.

 

[Asteconn]

Thanks for the feedback chaps.

Week 2 Day 3

Yesterday and today have been pretty weak to be honest. A couple of times I didn't use my initiative after greeting or smiling to initiate a conversation - a few other times I've bottled it. Not going brilliantly so far. Tomorrow - university again. This time I'll be certain to spark up random convos after revising the advice in week 2.

edit: forgot to mention that I did manage to get a couple of conversations going. Nothing special though.

How do you plan these weeks out? Like, week 1 goals, week 2 goals, etc.

It's in the DJ boot camp. This is week 2 I'm on:
http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloads/djbc.pdf

Seriously - download it, and throw yourself at it.

 

[NewJack]

nice work!

 

[Asteconn]

Week 2 Day 4

Today went much better. I think I was riding the high of a good mood - my car passed its MOT yesterday without any work needing to be done.

First thing I did when I got out of the car - I spotted a guy with a guitar case. I asked him "Hiding any machine guns in that?" and struck a conversation from that. Tried not to run my mouth too much and focus the conversation back at him ad get some practice in.

A little later, in the computer lab, I interjected into the conversation of a group of four ladies, one of which was particularly nice. I concentrated my conversation on her, whilst acknowledging the others. Again, I did my best to bounce the conversation back at her.

When they left, I conversed randomly with some random guys who were doing some powerpoint. Gave them a hand and again, had a good practice.

Not too long after that, in the same lab, I had a chat to two ladies in my class - one of which is quite nice and I've never spoken to before. Again, kept the conversation bouncing back to her in particular. Didn't do as well here though, as they conversed betwen each other too. But not to worry.

And now, right this very second, I'm going to strike up conversation with a Finnish lady in the room with me - see where it goes! Update: it went really well. Keep her talking for about 30 minutes in the end. She didn't seem to interested in me, but it was nice to be able to talk to someone randomly for that long and let them do most of the talking!

 

[Asteconn]

Week 2 Day 6

Week 2's gone very well I think so far. I'm holding a LAN party over the next couple of days, so I don't think I'll be getting out much from now until Monday! lol.

So far I think I've managed to talk to at least 20 different people, some in groups, randomly.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

You seem to be pretty objective about yourself and the reaction of others, which is quite an accomplishment in itself. Also,

First thing I did when I got out of the car - I spotted a guy with a guitar case. I asked him "Hiding any machine guns in that?"

You seem to be quite funny :cheer:

 

[Asteconn]

You seem to be pretty objective about yourself and the reaction of others, which is quite an accomplishment in itself. Also,

You seem to be quite funny :cheer:

Thanks. The thing I've found is that I'm funniest when I don't *try* to be funny. The machine gun comment just popped into my head, oddly from the computer game Gangsters (fun game btw).

Week 3 should be fun! Being a bit of a short sighted fool, I did an all nighter at uni thursday / friday, which meant that I didn't gym on friday night. Going an extra time this week to make up for it.

 

[jdon23]

Thanks. The thing I've found is that I'm funniest when I don't *try* to be funny. The machine gun comment just popped into my head, oddly from the computer game Gangsters (fun game btw).

Week 3 should be fun! Being a bit of a short sighted fool, I did an all nighter at uni thursday / friday, which meant that I didn't gym on friday night. Going an extra time this week to make up for it.

Haha yea, you are funny. Once you get out of your comfort zone, you will find that conversation will flow more and more naturally. You won't even have to think about "what should I say next?".

Great progress so far! Good luck on week 3

 

[Asteconn]

Week 3 Day 1

Today was a pretty disinteresting day. But! I did go to the shop before I went for a hair cut to get some cashback so I could pay for the hair cut.

When I strolled into the store, I saw quite an attractive girl with a crazy hair style - kind of like the sort a character out of an anime film has. I decided not to say anything, because she was in a school uniform and was with her mum; but in hindsight I should have at least complemented her on it.

Whilst I was there, I thought it prudent to purchase a lottery ticket. So I did. Queuing up, I noticed a cute lady (6-7ish) coming to join the queue. I decided there and then (unconsciously noting the 3 second rule) to talk to her.

As an ice breaker, I decided to say something on her glasses: funky designer things they were. I seemed to have caught her totally unawares! Which sucked. And the conversation slid downhill from there. It was very clear she wasn't in a chatty mood.

Did I mope at this setback? Don't be daft, of course I didn't! I actually found myself laughing at how awfully it went!

Let's see what tomorrow brings - University is tomorrow, and there are *plenty* of attractive ladies to chat to there.

 

[Asteconn]

Week 3 Day 2

Hasn't gone as well as I would have liked, but I have had a couple of conversations today.

The first wasn't brilliant to be honest. I started a conversation with the woman in front of me in the queue for the shop at uni. only a 4 or 5, but practice none the less. She was queuing up with some biscuits, so I used those as a starting point for the conversation. I do remember I got a laugh out of her, and a couple of others in earshot, when I declared that she should demand a pay rise so that she can afford really awesome biscuits rather than just hobnobs and bourbons.

Next conversation I had went very well, but was unduely short. Afterwards I found plenty of room for improvement. But anyway, she was very cute, I'd say a 7. This time I opened with "I love your coat!", as it was a deep purple coat, very unique. She took well to it. I really should have asked for her name and introduced myself in hindsight. I got cut short when the queue for the sandwich bar got to her, but she did say something to the tune of "Goodbye, see you later", which at least is a pretty positive farewell.

Lastly, I talked to a group of ladies; two of which I knew. This time it was about assorted university stuff. Again, I managed to get a laugh with the comment about a 'drop in' session that was going on in their lecture. This drop in session needed an appointment; wait a minute... it's not really a 'drop in' session if you need an appointment, it entirely defeats the object of 'dropping in'.

anyway. More uni tomorrow, not because I have lectures, but because I want to get more gym work done and talk to more ladies

 

[Asteconn]

Week 3 Day 5

Week 3's gone relatively well so far. Managed to engage a few ladies in random conversation. I kept forgetting to update this though, so I can't remember many specifics. I keep missing opportunities though, realising only afterwards I could have struck up conversation

 

[Asteconn]

Week 3 Day 6

Today I went shopping! I brightened up my outfit a little with the addition of a shirt from Officers Club.

Whilst I was out of course, I took the opportunity to strike up conversation with some attractive ladies. When my mate Paul went to get his watch fixed in the Jewellers, I struck up conversation with a very nice lady with a red shirt - which is what I commented on to break the ice. That conversation went quite well. Her answers were annoyingly short though, didn't give me much time to think of stuff to ask! I should have asked her name, but I forgot.

A little later on in a different shop, chatted to a tall young lady, tops 18. She seemed really flustered and a bit giggly. I'm guessing that's a good sign. That conversation went well too.

I've lost count of how many people I've talked to now. Hopefully I'll be feeling better by tomorrow for the start of the new week - I've come down with something which is cramping my style a tad.

 

[Asteconn]

Week 4 Day 2

Hit the ground running today; as I was too ill to leave the house yesterday. Still sniffling and coughing a little, but recovering nicely.

So far, asked two people; one I unknowingly already knew, so I backfooted and asked for a number on a professional basis rather than a personal one. The second person I'd never met before, and served me at the sandwich counter. I asked, she had a bloke, I asked when the marriage was! Established some rapport but no phone number. The rest of the week should be better than today, as I'm out of the house for longer.

 

[Asteconn]

Week 4 Day 3

A pretty momentous occasion occurred today. For the first time in well over a couple of years I actually managed to get someone's phone number!

She was the barmaid. Not my sort at all, 6-7, but it was an opportunity. It was a very quiet evening in the pub, which is understandable really. So I struck up a conversation. She was seemed very interested in me. I talked to her for about 20 minutes I think. In the end I went back to my table for a while to spend some time with my mates. When we left, I asked for her number.

She asked "Why do you want my number?"

I replied "Why else would I want your number?" and smiled.

And she gave it to me.

In the second pub I tried talking to the bar girl there when my chums went to the loo. I used that as an excuse and an opener "Hello... no no don't get up I'm not ordering anything... just come to chat as my friends have abandoned me." She was markedly less interested. She was much more attractive that the first one, but still not the sort I'd go for. I didn't ask for her number in the end, I should have just to get the rejection, but I don't feel too dejected over it to be honest.

It's been a relatively eventful evening. Tomorrow I'll have to ramp up my efforts if I'm going to get 10 rejections by the end of the week.

 

[Asteconn]

end of Week 4

Week 4 was a pretty awesome week to be honest. Although I wasn't out a lot; thursday I had a severe bout of insomnia that caught up with me on friday night; whereby I actually slept for abotu 16 hours straight and missed a day at uni because I forgot to turn my alarm on.

Anyway. On Thursday I sparked up some conversation with a girl behind the sandwich bar at uni. She wasn't very receptive when I asked for her number though. She said "It's not going to happen", which was a bit harsh I think. That put me in a really poor mood about the whole thing for the rest of the day.

Friday, which was the day I spent 16 hours in bed quite unwittingly, was another story. Friday night I went out, and I was on a serious mission. We went to Bar 12 in Worcester city centre, and from there I began.

When we first sat down, there was an attractive lass on the next table with a group of friends. At the time, I was getting my nerve together. So as a starter, I went to the bar, where I could engage the barmaid in some conversation much more easily than the one sat nearby. So I talked to her, she seemed quite receptive, I said "I'd like your phone number." Or words like that. At which point she appologised and said that she had a bloke. Not to worry.

However, when I got back from the bar, the first one that I'd spied had gone! I mean, honestly, how rude? I was quite gutted at that. So I stepped up my efforts.

So, when an attractive young lass and a friend (turned out to be her mum!) sat down, when the HB8 went off someplace, I introduced myself to the friend. That's when I found out that she was the mum! Anyway, I got a number off of the young lady, and she went off to another bar. She's definately due a call.

I then went after a very nice young lady, easily a 9; but she was engaged. I really made a mess of this one to be fair. I had a go at a completely cold approach, but I sucked! I'm not recanting what I said because it was very AFC and I went in without a battleplan at all. Needless to say, I went back to her table and socialised a little with some of her friends. Mostly, and quite annoyingly, blokes; but it gave me an insight into her mates. None of which were worth it really.

Later on in the night, after a couple more stops in different bars, we finally came to rest in Slug and Lettuce on the high street. Nice place. Anyway, I soon identified further potentials. One was the barmaid, and the other was a curvy busty lass in blue.

I tried my luck with her first, introducing myself via her friends (who were also quite nice tbh). I declined, repeatedly, one of the friends' demands for a drink on me. When she came back, I started up a conversation with her, seemed to go pretty well. However, when they got up to leave, I went in for the number, she just replied "I'm not after a boyfriend at the moment thanks." And just carried on leaving before I could formulate a reply. That sucked. Really, she was the only one of the night that I really wanted the number from. Oh well.

Being as this was a couple of days ago there are a couple of bits that I can't remember. In total, 9 rejections.

Also, I may add that I was completely, stone cold dry sober for the entirety of the night. Alcohol is an excuse for some people, and I've proved to myself that it's not needed.

Week 5 Day 1

Yesterday, I was working on site for the the small training company that I get work with often. Lunchtime was uneventful, no-one worth talkign to at all. Afterwards though, I went shoppign for a few bits, and there was a member of staff that I thought that would be good practice for me. That failed miserably after the stage "What's your name?". Oh well. I laughed about that one it went that poorly.

And now to crack on with week 5, or at least try to. Assignments looming for uni won't help the time constraints much.