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When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Rotator Cuff Strain/shoulder tendonitis

Barrister

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Anyone have any experience lifting weights through this? I have had some stiffness/soreness in my right shoulder after lifting for about 3 weeks now (I had tried to increase the weight on military press and this arose). I have actually cut the weights I have been lifting in half and it has allowed me to continue lifting but I am still experiencing soreness. I have full range of motion so I don't think there is any tear. Reaching behind my back is definitely an uncomfortable feeling.

I notice the stiffness most after doing bench press or dumbbell military press. I can do my biceps and triceps essentially with no issues. I used to do pull-ups pretty religiously but I have completely cut them out as I am worried they might make it considerably worse. Any of the other DJs have some pointers to offer on this? I definitely don't want to stop lifting altogether if I can avoid it.
 

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Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Lookatu

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I had a rotator cuff injury on my left shoulder two years ago and had to go through 4 months of physical therapy to bring it back to 90%. I don't wanna go through an invasive surgery to try to get back the other 10% that's not guaranteed.

I hurt my right rotator cuff like 10 months ago but since pandemic, I haven't had any PT yet on it. It has gotten progressively worse. I have cut down on my weights but still continue doing them. I'm doing dumbells mainly because it will allow more varied movement as opposed to any machines or a solid bar that can lock you into a certain range of motions.

Rotator cuff only gets sore or hurts on very specific motions. If you search for rotator cuff physical therapy exercises on youtube, it will bring back quite a few. The best thing is to get resistance bands to do these on alternating days that you work out. You need to let it rest after doing these types of exercises. It might take you 2-3 months for it to improve though.
 

Barrister

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I had a rotator cuff injury on my left shoulder two years ago and had to go through 4 months of physical therapy to bring it back to 90%. I don't wanna go through an invasive surgery to try to get back the other 10% that's not guaranteed.

I hurt my right rotator cuff like 10 months ago but since pandemic, I haven't had any PT yet on it. It has gotten progressively worse. I have cut down on my weights but still continue doing them. I'm doing dumbells mainly because it will allow more varied movement as opposed to any machines or a solid bar that can lock you into a certain range of motions.

Rotator cuff only gets sore or hurts on very specific motions. If you search for rotator cuff physical therapy exercises on youtube, it will bring back quite a few. The best thing is to get resistance bands to do these on alternating days that you work out. You need to let it rest after doing these types of exercises. It might take you 2-3 months for it to improve though.
Do you use dumbbells for bench instead of the bar? It’s definitely a frustrating injury since I’ll have workouts when it seems to do great then later in the day it flares up and is sore for a couple days. I don’t think I could stand stopping completely.
 

logicallefty

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Yes I dislocated both shoulders playing high school hockey, one shoulder once and the other three times during HS. I've been able to lift weights my whole life but there are certain exercises that I cannot and will not ever be able to do, anything up and back over the shoulder. If I move too far in that motion it doesn't feel safe. Just learn what motions you can't do and find exercises to work around them and you will be fine. I've dislocated my shoulders two additional time since HS but never during weight lifting.
 

Stoic

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I've fixed my shoulder issues and buddies shoulder issues with a stupidly simple fix.

Stop doing the exercise or activity that caused the issue in the first place

And then do dead hangs. Get on a pull up bar or a tree branch or on a door. Do 3 to 5 sets or so everyday and literally just totally relax and hang for 30 seconds or so. Most likely, it will fix itself or get a lot better in a couple weeks.

The book I got this information from I believe was from "Treat your own shoulder" or "treat your own rotator cuff" written by a physical therapist.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Lookatu

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Do you use dumbbells for bench instead of the bar? It’s definitely a frustrating injury since I’ll have workouts when it seems to do great then later in the day it flares up and is sore for a couple days. I don’t think I could stand stopping completely.
Yes I've switched to dumbells for everything since I'm doing lighter weights now.
 

EyeBRollin

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Shoulder soreness from lifting in my experience is an imbalance of push-pull mixed with poor form. Make sure your form on presses is perfect and double up on scapula retraction (pull ups and rows) for the near future.

Don’t be scared of pull ups! On the contrary, cutting them out is a huge mistake.
 

Lookatu

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Shoulder soreness from lifting in my experience is an imbalance of push-pull mixed with poor form. Make sure your form on presses is perfect and double up on scapula retraction (pull ups and rows) for the near future.

Don’t be scared of pull ups! On the contrary, cutting them out is a huge mistake.
In my case it wasn't due to lifting. One side was from a fall where I hit my shoulder. The other side was from banging up against an equipment rack when putting weights back after I was done. Kinda ironic but it is what it is.
 

Barrister

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Shoulder soreness from lifting in my experience is an imbalance of push-pull mixed with poor form. Make sure your form on presses is perfect and double up on scapula retraction (pull ups and rows) for the near future.

Don’t be scared of pull ups! On the contrary, cutting them out is a huge mistake.
I was using the machine for behind the back pull downs but I have switched to using dumbbels for the rows. I have to say the pull-ups kind of scare me right now. I don't want to strain it. Maybe I will try to do a few and see how it feels though.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Any of the other DJs have some pointers to offer on this?
I've messed up both elbows from over training. Particularly pullups.

I've also had tons of issues with achilles tendonitis.

The only thing that ever helped was rest and zero movement exercises (various planks, yoga poses, etc.).

I tried different motions but that didn't help.

But I'm 54 and my tendons ain't what they used to be.

Without question, the majority of my lifetime doctor visits was due to over training.
 

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Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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rjc149

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There are guys on this forum who seem pretty qualified to answer this, I don't consider myself to be one of them.

However, I cut out military press precisely because it aggravated a past shoulder dislocation. I've read quite a few men's fitness op-eds which advise phasing out this lift.

If you're recently off an injury, I suggest re-strengthening your rotator cuff tendon system with pushups -- use a pushup bars to increase range of motion. If weights aggravate it, skip them.
 

Lookatu

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Rotator cuff has 4 distinct muscle areas. You need to work on the specific set of muscles that are weak or injured. This is where professional physical therapy comes in since they know how to target those specific areas. This is what I'm going to be doing soon for my injury.

Currently my rotator cuff isn't torn in all areas. Only some. This allows me to have certain range of motions like doing shoulder presses, yet I can't put my phone away on my nightstand as those range of motions target one of my 4 rotator cuff muscles.

Another common one is bending your elbow and reaching your back from below like when you have to scratch or lather up in the shower.

Starting Physical Therapy next week...
 

EyeBRollin

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There are guys on this forum who seem pretty qualified to answer this, I don't consider myself to be one of them.

However, I cut out military press precisely because it aggravated a past shoulder dislocation. I've read quite a few men's fitness op-eds which advise phasing out this lift.

If you're recently off an injury, I suggest re-strengthening your rotator cuff tendon system with pushups -- use a pushup bars to increase range of motion. If weights aggravate it, skip them.
Rotator cuff has 4 distinct muscle areas. You need to work on the specific set of muscles that are weak or injured. This is where professional physical therapy comes in since they know how to target those specific areas. This is what I'm going to be doing soon for my injury.

Currently my rotator cuff isn't torn in all areas. Only some. This allows me to have certain range of motions like doing shoulder presses, yet I can't put my phone away on my nightstand as those range of motions target one of my 4 rotator cuff muscles.

Another common one is bending your elbow and reaching your back from below like when you have to scratch or lather up in the shower.

Starting Physical Therapy next week...
On the contrary. The military press is the best shoulder lifting exercise there is. It works all muscles in the shoulder. The problem is counterintuitive; isolation and accessory work actually causes imbalances that can aggravate of lead to further injury. Natural movement compound lifts are naturally limited by weakest muscles. To train a weakened shoulder, decrease the weight substantially but double down on military press.
 

speed dawg

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I've fixed my shoulder issues and buddies shoulder issues with a stupidly simple fix.

Stop doing the exercise or activity that caused the issue in the first place

And then do dead hangs. Get on a pull up bar or a tree branch or on a door. Do 3 to 5 sets or so everyday and literally just totally relax and hang for 30 seconds or so. Most likely, it will fix itself or get a lot better in a couple weeks.

The book I got this information from I believe was from "Treat your own shoulder" or "treat your own rotator cuff" written by a physical therapist.
This. Stop using the shoulder if it the movement hurts, stretch it (unless there is distinct pain) and then add one more thing. You need to get blood flow to the injury. Obviously that is moving your shoulder around in circles, etc., but you need to find the area that is hurt. Probe around with your fingers, and when you find it, rub it across the muscle grain. This will greatly aid in the healing process. For any muscle injury.
 

Barrister

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On the contrary. The military press is the best shoulder lifting exercise there is. It works all muscles in the shoulder. The problem is counterintuitive; isolation and accessory work actually causes imbalances that can aggravate of lead to further injury. Natural movement compound lifts are naturally limited by weakest muscles. To train a weakened shoulder, decrease the weight substantially but double down on military press.
I think this was what caused my problem to begin with. I was using the machine military press when I began experiencing the issue.
 

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She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Barrister

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This. Stop using the shoulder if it the movement hurts, stretch it (unless there is distinct pain) and then add one more thing. You need to get blood flow to the injury. Obviously that is moving your shoulder around in circles, etc., but you need to find the area that is hurt. Probe around with your fingers, and when you find it, rub it across the muscle grain. This will greatly aid in the healing process. For any muscle injury.
I've fixed my shoulder issues and buddies shoulder issues with a stupidly simple fix.

Stop doing the exercise or activity that caused the issue in the first place

And then do dead hangs. Get on a pull up bar or a tree branch or on a door. Do 3 to 5 sets or so everyday and literally just totally relax and hang for 30 seconds or so. Most likely, it will fix itself or get a lot better in a couple weeks.

The book I got this information from I believe was from "Treat your own shoulder" or "treat your own rotator cuff" written by a physical therapist.
Are you just hanging on the bar or are you doing pull ups?
 

Stoic

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Are you just hanging on the bar or are you doing pull ups?
Just a dead hang and relax everything. Like I said, its stupidly simple but damn if it doesn't work!

The title of the book is

Shoulder Pain? The solution and Prevention by Dr. KIRSCH
 

redskinsfan92

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I injured my shoulder in 2019 while hiking Old Rag Mountain in Shanendoah. Not sure what happened. Strained it during a rock scramble, but didn't feel it until an hour later. Hurt really bad the first few days. Could barely lift my arm. Had to wait a week before returning to any lifting with the upper body. I did some leg and ab exercises in the meantime.
 

darksprezzatura

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I'm going through a shoulder injury myself.

It's mild with slight discomfort in a specific position.

I haven't gone to a PT yet.

Completely skipping strength training for a month.

Just pull ups, crunches, squats and resistance band stretches for me.


Good time to deload, let my whole body recover.

Good time to max out cardio, aggressive calorie deficit.

Use this time to get shredded while working on my V taper and abs.

I'm going to try @Stoic 's advice out. Seems like he knows what he's talking about.
 

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I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

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