"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Rookie, desperately needed step by step guidance

andy surianto

Don Juan
Joined
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43
Location
jakarta
Hi Everyone. Needed your guidance on this one. Really want to increase my success rate on this one.

Here is the situation :

About two weeks ago, I met went to the movies with my friends. One of my friend know her. So he introduces us. Before we were able to have any conversation, the movie is starting. SO that's it, just brief introduction. She is really cute.

Few days later i looked her Facebook up in my friend's friend list. and i add her. She then later approved me and we are starting messaging each other via facebook. I also add her YM a couple of days later.

I started to try to communicate with her through YM. But she rarely responded. Sometimes when she responded, she will just stop replying in the middle of the chat. I tried to ask for her number but failed miserably

WHen i am about to walk away, she call me on YM on friday night. Just w hen i got home from work that day. We have a little chat, then she said she is still in her office doing stuff. I offered to give her a ride home with my motorcycle (pretending that i was also still in my office. She works in a building across my office building). She didn't respond to my offer. Than we continue with the chat.

Later on, i mention that i'm already home. Then she asked " If you are already home, why did you offer me ride home?" and i said to her "cause i think you won't dare ride with someone you hardly know." she replied "who said i don't dare ride with you?" i said "if you dare ride with me, give me your number and i'll be there in 20 minutes."

Then i went and meet up with her in a mall next to her office building with her. We had a walk in the mall for like about an hour, before i took her home. I enjoy the conversation we had very much. She seems to enjoy it very much too.

Yesterday (saturday) she called me again on YM. Asking question like "You didn't get lost on your way home, did you?" and the same pattern reoccured. She just stop replying all of sudden.

Earllier today i saw her YM online. I called her. She didn't respond. I go offline. and I just go online a moment ago, and there's a respond from her. She responded 3 hours after my message on YM. Then she appeared to be online too. I then replied. But she has't responded at all till now. here is my last interaction with her :
me: morning
her (3 hours later) : Yes. Hi
Me (3 hours after her respond): yoh. Sorry, I was busy. How was your day?
Me (after an hour without respond) : Busy? okay. talk to you some other time.
And she didn't respond at all till now.

Please help me with analyzing the situation and please help me with what is best to do next. I like the girl so much. She is smart and cute. Really want to score with her.

info from my friends are saying that she is really popular. And she got a lot of guys ready to do anything to get her attention. She just broke up with a really needy BF.

i forget to mention, i came from Indonesia, where girls and guys relationship are still somewhat really conservative. So, for a girl to be willing to ride motorcycle with a guy is already something. Hahahaha.

Thx in advance guys.

Nb. Pardon my english. I'm not a native speaker afterall. Hahahha
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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CarlitosWay

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
830
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Location
In the damn boonies...of Michigan
andy surianto said:
Hi Everyone. Needed your guidance on this one. Really want to increase my success rate on this one.

Here is the situation :

About two weeks ago, I met went to the movies with my friends. One of my friend know her. So he introduces us. Before we were able to have any conversation, the movie is starting. SO that's it, just brief introduction. She is really cute.

Few days later i looked her Facebook up in my friend's friend list. and i add her. She then later approved me and we are starting messaging each other via facebook. I also add her YM a couple of days later.

I started to try to communicate with her through YM. But she rarely responded. Sometimes when she responded, she will just stop replying in the middle of the chat. I tried to ask for her number but failed miserably

WHen i am about to walk away, she call me on YM on friday night. Just w hen i got home from work that day. We have a little chat, then she said she is still in her office doing stuff. I offered to give her a ride home with my motorcycle (pretending that i was also still in my office. She works in a building across my office building). She didn't respond to my offer. Than we continue with the chat.

Later on, i mention that i'm already home. Then she asked " If you are already home, why did you offer me ride home?" and i said to her "cause i think you won't dare ride with someone you hardly know." she replied "who said i don't dare ride with you?" i said "if you dare ride with me, give me your number and i'll be there in 20 minutes."

Then i went and meet up with her in a mall next to her office building with her. We had a walk in the mall for like about an hour, before i took her home. I enjoy the conversation we had very much. She seems to enjoy it very much too.

Yesterday (saturday) she called me again on YM. Asking question like "You didn't get lost on your way home, did you?" and the same pattern reoccured. She just stop replying all of sudden.

Earllier today i saw her YM online. I called her. She didn't respond. I go offline. and I just go online a moment ago, and there's a respond from her. She responded 3 hours after my message on YM. Then she appeared to be online too. I then replied. But she has't responded at all till now. here is my last interaction with her :
me: morning
her (3 hours later) : Yes. Hi
Me (3 hours after her respond): yoh. Sorry, I was busy. How was your day?
Me (after an hour without respond) : Busy? okay. talk to you some other time.
And she didn't respond at all till now.

Please help me with analyzing the situation and please help me with what is best to do next. I like the girl so much. She is smart and cute. Really want to score with her.

info from my friends are saying that she is really popular. And she got a lot of guys ready to do anything to get her attention. She just broke up with a really needy BF.

i forget to mention, i came from Indonesia, where girls and guys relationship are still somewhat really conservative. So, for a girl to be willing to ride motorcycle with a guy is already something. Hahahaha.

Thx in advance guys.

Nb. Pardon my english. I'm not a native speaker afterall. Hahahha
If I wasn't on a site and some one read this to me....I would automatically awww nice two friends chit-chatting and having a good time.

Bro if you want drastic results you sometimes have to take risks and take drastic measures (meaning escalate a good fun rapport, while simultaneously escalating sexual tension).

I like your idea with the bike though....Start taking more action like this, less chit chat online. More talking in-person!! More on the phone to (just to set up dates, not endless jibberjabber)!!! Show her the adventurous, fun loving man you are.

:cheer: :cheer: for you!
 

andy surianto

Don Juan
Joined
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43
Location
jakarta
Okay okay, Thx bro...

so after the last interaction, when will be the right time to call her and ask her out to not look desperate? I ride with her 2 days ago.
 

n00bPimp

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Okay okay, Thx bro...

so after the last interaction, when will be the right time to call her and ask her out to not look desperate? I ride with her 2 days ago.
Something tells me you'll still look desperate even if you dont call her after many years. Relax man, let her come to you, don't offer no rides, shes not your gf.
Let her be the one to initate the next conversation, and try to talk about things that dont make her fall asleep halfway through the conversation.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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andy surianto

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2005
Messages
14
Reaction score
0
Age
43
Location
jakarta
n00bPimp said:
Something tells me you'll still look desperate even if you dont call her after many years. Relax man, let her come to you, don't offer no rides, shes not your gf.
Let her be the one to initate the next conversation, and try to talk about things that dont make her fall asleep halfway through the conversation.

Hahahah. thx you for your honest input. That's why i am a rookie
 
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