"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Romance out of LJBF?

English_Bloke

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Is it possible to still get romance out of this LJBF? Basically I didnt do anything really wrong, except picking a girl who has a phobia of relationships - she was abused really badly in one. So is there still much point in trying to have romance with this girl, because things were smooth until we got into a small argument which she said reminded her of her abusive BF and thats why we should be 'Best Friends'.......yeah its that line that makes any guy cringe. We already flirt and do the BF+GF thing but she is scared about it turning into something bad once we are dating. Now her looks and personality outweigh this issue she has, just I really dont want to waste time on this one if you guys think its not worth it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Docs

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Eeee...

Three options.
1. Use effort to show her how much you care.
2. You know the drill.
3. Do what you do, you don't need the title if she's a kissin you already.
 

English_Bloke

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Yeah, Ive thought about it again - ill put some effort into this, but I have so much more game to get down in Florida why waste my energy on this girl. Im already going with another down there so if im not getting what I want, I may get even futher on my vacation. I was having an AFC moment there.
 

Docs

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Or, you can re-read point number 3 and tell me if she is a kissing so you don't have to expend valuable effort forces >.<
 

English_Bloke

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Everything but full on making out, kissing; cheek, neck, feeling each other - you get my drift. So it seems that its all there and an actual kiss would make or break it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Docs

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For your reading pleasure, I will mark your text with flags.

Is it possible to still get romance out of this LJBF? Basically I didnt do anything really wrong, except picking a girl who has a phobia of relationships - she was abused really badly in one. So is there still much point in trying to have romance with this girl, because things were smooth until we got into a small argument which she said reminded her of her abusive BF and thats why we should be 'Best Friends'.......yeah its that line that makes any guy cringe. We already flirt and do the BF+GF thing but she is scared about it turning into something bad once we are dating. Now her looks and personality outweigh this issue she has, just I really dont want to waste time on this one if you guys think its not worth it.

Yeah, Ive thought about it again - ill put some effort into this, but I have so much more game to get down in Florida why waste my energy on this girl. Im already going with another down there so if im not getting what I want, I may get even futher on my vacation. I was having an AFC moment there.

Everything but full on making out, kissing; cheek, neck, feeling each other - you get my drift. So it seems that its all there and an actual kiss would make or break it.
So, she's in what I like to call, the 'too comfortable phase'. Anything that would touch on dating, she's not too inclined for, but she'll be your uber-close friend.

You're walking the edge of 'holy pickles! the friendship cliff is right there'. What you have to stop doing right now is driving full speed over that cliff. Catch my drift yet? Looking above, there's oddies of Red Flags and not enough green. The only green flags I marked were those things you had going for you, and they weren't with this girl.

However, for the benefit of the doubt, if you want to advance this for whatever reasons, you need to make a move and dodge EVERYTHING she'll pin down for why it shouldn't work. Turn to the bible and read up.

Or, you can stop wasting valuable effort levels and game up Florida!
Sorry -_-.
 

08aisaac

Master Don Juan
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Don't go by what she says.
She says she wants to be best friends. Be best friends with benefits.
If things aren't going your way, I'd leave it for a while to find another girl.
This one girl and I were doing great, until I screwed up, and was a little bit desperate. So I was like, **** this.
And she sees that I'm not a wuss at all, or desperate. So she wants me now. And all I had to do was persue other girls.
So go to Florida, and get with her later.
 

English_Bloke

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Thanks Docs for breaking it down for me. I wont put too much effort into this one, when for the next week I can probably get more than I could in an entire year with this girl. So I will see if this can go anywhere, if not than friends with benefits doesnt sound too bad as long as I dont put much time into it e.x. gifts etc.

I have one question left...friends with benefits...how far can those benefits go? As far as I push them or is it really capped at going to the mall togethor?
 

shydude

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Well i am a new don juan here! But I can tell u almost everyone says! Respect her as much as u can!! Talk about feelings, Ur past, and have fun with her@ there is alwyas chance unless u give up! But if things dont start changing in 2 weeks or so! NEXT here, in other words, the problems she has should not be ur problems!! U should have fun@ GOod luck mate
 

Docs

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English_Bloke said:
I have one question left...friends with benefits...how far can those benefits go? As far as I push them or is it really capped at going to the mall togethor?
Well, you totally have no idea of what you are even asking. Friends with Benefits, or fvckbuddies as we like to call them are as plain as the second name. It's a combination of all or parts of [kissing/sex/makeouts/casual sex with many girls with her knowledge (including her)/three-somes/etc] without the committment.

What is a limit again? :rolleyes:

Understanding that much now, how much of it do you want?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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English_Bloke

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Hm doesnt sound too bad! I think I may keep that one going and keep looking for someone new. Besides I dont have to worry about breaking up or p1ssing her off. Cool thanks.
 
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