"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Rohan Murphy, Paraplegic Wrestler

Bible_Belt

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http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive/2005/10/10-18-05tdc/10-18-05dsports-06.asp

Oct. 18, 2005

Paraplegic wrestler inspires team

By Scott Cooper email
Collegian Staff Writer

For Rohan Murphy, sometimes the trip to wrestling practice can be just as daunting a venture as the intense practice itself.

The 125-pounder must go from the wrestling locker room to the South Gym staircase in the company of teammates. That stairwell is not wheelchair accessible, and Murphy, born without legs, will routinely receive help from teammates in order to simply descend those steps which lead to the lower level -- and ultimately the wrestling room -- in Rec Hall.

"I've got some very good teammates," Murphy said. "They'll carry me down the stairs, sometimes give me a piggyback down."

While Murphy may require a bit of assistance in getting to practice, he needs little help while at the practice environment itself -- be it on the mats, the steps of ****** Stadium or the ski slopes of Centre County.

"When we went to the ski slopes last year, I thought my assistant coaches were asking a bit too much when they told him to go up halfway," Penn State wrestling coach Troy Sunderland said. "But not a complaint, didn't bat an eye, he was just ready to go and found a way to get up. By the time he got halfway up he said, 'There's no way I'm stopping.' So he went up the whole way, and we had a couple guys piggyback him down."

When thinking back to his first meeting with Murphy, a smile starts to spread on Sunderland's face. The coach received an e-mail in March of 2003 telling him that a student at Altoona was coming to University Park in the fall, and that he wanted to try out for the team. Giving his typical response to such an e-mail, Sunderland replied that the student should stop by his office in the fall in order to try out and complete the necessary paperwork.

Six months later there was a knock at Sunderland's office door.

"There's Rohan, who came to introduce himself," Sunderland recalled. "He said, 'I'd like to be part of your program.' I asked how he'd like to help us, what he had in mind. Then he says, 'I wanna wrestle for you.' I was just like, 'Really.' "

If Sunderland was surprised by Murphy's announcement and confidence, then was even more surprised by the young man's ability despite the absence of two limbs.

"He got out of his wheelchair, showed me his stance," Sunderland said. "He talked about his style, what he likes to do on the bottom, on the top, that type of thing. I called up my athletic director, explained to him the situation, and he said that Rohan sounded like a great young man and that we should add him to the team."

Murphy was fully confident that he would make the team after training hard over that summer. Wrestling was the only sport that opened its arms to Murphy, the only sport that would afford a paraplegic student athlete the opportunity to compete at a Division I level.

"It's the only sport I could play that wasn't just a disabled sport," Murphy said. "It's kinda hard to play soccer with no legs."

During Murphy's first week of practice he fit right in with his teammates. The team was doing fitness testing, and it was time to complete the timed hang on the chinbar. Murphy got up to the bar and was talking trash right away, confidently predicting how he would outlast everyone on the hang.

Murphy backed up his talk, lasting for what one Nittany Lion estimated was around four minutes.

"Rohan has fit in great with the guys on the team," Sunderland said. "He doesn't ask for anything special; he's in there and does whatever's asked. We ran stadium steps and he's out there doing those with us."

Murphy must use his hands for mobility, and has developed a very strong upper body that obviously accounts for most of his weight.

"Strength-wise, he's equal to or stronger than the others in the 125 group," Sunderland said.

He's been bench pressing 275 pounds lately, but Murphy said he could put up 280 if need be.

Murphy describes his wrestling style as funky. Since he doesn't have legs, he says that he must use his whole upper body when he wrestles -- obviously making it look far different from when someone with legs is on the mat.

"He does force opponents to try to wrestle a different way," Sunderland said. "If they're just trying to go around him, he's very mobile and strong enough in his upper body that he can really keep guys at bay that way."

The Long Island native redshirted his first year with the team, then went 1-8 last season. The losing, or at least the hatred and fear of it, inspires Murphy to train and focus the way he does. It's what makes him so competitive.

A senior with junior eligibility, Murphy is majoring in kinesiology with plans to attend graduate school.

"I'd like to go to grad school for occupational therapy," Murphy said. "I'd like to work with disabled children."

Murphy wants to make the challenges faced by those kids a bit less daunting; he wants to give them a boost. He knows first hand that sometimes one needs a little help doing things like getting food and going up or down the stairs, and now Murphy wants to be the one lending that hand.

But Murphy's mere presence and determination do more to help his teammates than he thinks, Sunderland said.

"It's just amazing for all the guys on the team to see him," Sunderland said. "It's given them inspiration for whenever they're feeling tired or feeling sorry for themselves."


http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06064/665352.stm

"I hated disabled sports when I was growing up," he said. "Just something about them, they're so cheesy. You know, just like the whole motto that everybody's a winner in disabled sports. I just hated it. Sports, there's supposed to be a winner and a loser -- right down the line."
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Brian20o2

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Insperational. I also find it crazy that he can bench 275 while only weighing 125. Thats more than double his weight! I would be stoked if I could get off 300, let alone twice my weight!
 

Bible_Belt

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another inspirational wrestler

http://www.mercextra.com/blogs/hssports/2007/01/09/blind-wrestler-continues-to-excel/

Blind wrestler continues to excel

By Dennis Knight
January 9th, 2007

Santa Teresa sophomore Jeshua Aveno showed that his blindness can’t hinder his success on the wrestling mat on Saturday by finishing third at 125 pounds at the 22nd Annual Cupertino Memorial Tournament.

Most spectators watching Aveno have no idea that he was born with retinitis pigmentosa and is legally blind. He is lightning quick and once he takes an opponent down, he doesn’t really need to use his eyes. He just reads his opponent’s body movements and works an effective vine leg riding technique.

Aveno pinned Gunn’s Dylan Gorman in 2:45 to take third at 125 pounds, even though he weighed in at 117 earlier in the week. Aveno improved to 12-3 on the season.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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comic_relief

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great inspiration

comic_relief
 
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