Rocky's journal: ending approach anxiety

[r0cky]

Tonight was not too good. I sarged with an experienced member of my lair. I did not do good as a wing. All the 3 sets we gamed were started by my wing. I couldn't do open any. and when I would try to wing the set he had opened, I was quiet. I didn't speak more than 5 sentences in each set. ****. I do much better with girls who are alone. I have to get out of my shell. Right now I'm thinking a lot of "I should've said...".
At least tonight I realized the level at which I am right now and the the level at which I must aim to be (my wing). Today was an eye opener. I learned that interactions are easier inside my head than in real life.
But I will tackle this.
My goal is to open and close sets properly by the end of the summer

 

[r0cky]

Ok today I went to NYC and did group approaches, I only managed to do 2.

1st
2 dudes standing around by the park. (they dont have to be girls to count as a group approach)
I went in with "Hey guys I'm looking for some recommendations, are you guys from the city?" Them: yeah
Me: "ok i'm looking for some social venues for me and my friends to go to tonite" Then they went on to give me some pretty cool places to hang out.

2nd
I was leaning against a fence surrounding a park txting and 3 black girls took a spot 3 feet away from me. I asked them the same opener, they gave me some recommendations.

After that I walked around to look for more sets. The park was packed with people, it always is, but it wasnt target rich. Most people seemed to be older or druggies or couples. I'm a little disappointed because I thought I would do at least 5 approaches in the 3 hrs i gave myself. Hopefully tomorrow I will have time to go back and try again.

 

[r0cky]

Its me again with another entry:
Today I went to the same hang out spot in the city. Lots more targets this time.

1. The first one took me a lot of balls. But I had already warmed up a little by approaching non targets. So I approached this group of 2 guys and 2 hb6's. One of the guys was smoking a cigar. i asked for a light, he gave it to me. The whole group was silent haha. Then I said cool man is that a cuban? to which he laughed and said I wish. Then I asked the group for some bar rec's. One of the girls responded with "We're not from the area but theres lots of bars around here." I told her yeah but the best ones are found thru word of mouth. She said yea thats so true. Then I bounced. This gave me a lot of momentum

2. Random interactions with not much content in the park and at a bookstore. This is my sticking point I don't bringmuch content to the convos. I really have to improve my energy level. smile more often, and bring more stimulating topics.

In the last interaction a chick actually approached me in the train platform. But I feel that I have to include it because it shows how much progress I've made. I was noticing this girl before she approached me because she was wearing a short skirt showing a tattoo in her thigh which I thought was interesting and sexy.
She was a hb 7.5 kinda drunk and asked me for a cigarette.
I didn't have any but I complimented her on her tattoo. After that she became really friendly and stared to kino me. I started to play around with her and sending her inuendos like when she said I suck for not having a cig I said "No you suck" to which she laughed.
Anyways I told her she should back to her friend so that she doesn't feel lonely, but she stayed accusing me of getting her turned on. After some strong EC and some teasing I asked her if she wanted to kiss me.(if she had said no I would respond with "I didn't say you could, it just seemed like you had something on your mind. credit- Style) She went crazy with her tongue. but I had to stop her because there were people watching us from the beginning and I didn't wanna seem like i was taking advantage of the poor girl.
This whole interaction wasn't me being a DJ as much as taking advantage of something that was practically thrown at me. BUT I have no doubt that if it wasn't for my recent effort to overcome shyness I would not been able to make her stay more than 10 seconds. I have made some progress at being more outgoing and giving less of a sh.t.

 

[r0cky]

Ok Im here with another report. This one better than the ones before.
We to a night club/ lounge.
1. Warmed up by making small talk with bouncers. Approached 2 HB8s. Opened with "What are you guys drinking". I could barely hear them but they were receptive. Then I walked away.

2. I approached a 2set, Irish HB7s both, with a thick accent. Love it. I asked them if it was ok for a guy to use eye liner. They talked about sum confusing crap I cant remember. Then intro. Did the best friends test. Then asked a couple situational questions. I began to feel uncomfortable even tho they were both being receptive, I just felt like the convo was not creating attraction and that it was going nowhere. Now that I reflect on it, I could've stayed longer and done some push/pull and c&f.

3. I got some good EC from HB8 went straight up to her. "how you doing?" With big smile like I know her already. Shook her hand and intro, then she asked me where do I know her from, I said from last weekend. She didnt take the bait and told me she doesn't know me. I told her it must've been someone with the same dress.
Then bounced.

I did a better job at winging. In fact I almost stole my wing's target at one point. A drunk HB8.5 that seemed to have a thing for me from the moment I entered the set. But I went by the rules and didn't try to game her. I was stuck with her fat HB4 friend for a couple minutes. Ugh.

I need to do more approaches. I keep waiting for the perfect time to approach but we know how rare that is. Thats what I must work on. The perfect time to approach is anytime they don't seem pissed off. Dont matter if they're busy.
My most notable improvement is that my energy level is a little higher than before and I'm now able to smile without much effort.

 

[r0cky]

Hey dude thanx for the encouragement!
I've seen Scott's videos before and he's awesome I've gotten many ideas from those vids.

 

[macallik]

2. I approached a 2set, Irish HB7s both, with a thick accent. Love it. I asked them if it was ok for a guy to use eye liner. They talked about sum confusing crap I cant remember. Then intro. Did the best friends test. Then asked a couple situational questions. I began to feel uncomfortable even tho they were both being receptive, I just felt like the convo was not creating attraction and that it was going nowhere. Now that I reflect on it, I could've stayed longer and done some push/pull and c&f

I was gonna tell you that #1 doesn't cut it coz you aren't getting anywhere by asking about a drink but you seem to know that by approach #2...

3. I got some good EC from HB8 went straight up to her. "how you doing?" With big smile like I know her already. Shook her hand and intro, then she asked me where do I know her from, I said from last weekend. She didnt take the bait and told me she doesn't know me. I told her it must've been someone with the same dress.
Then bounced.

Lol. You don't get much more 'in' than this. You have to ride it til the wheels fall off for these kind of approaches. Attempt some kind of close next time coz if the chick shows interest and you go in confident and with a smile that is half the battle won already.

I need to do more approaches. I keep waiting for the perfect time to approach but we know how rare that is. Thats what I must work on. The perfect time to approach is anytime they don't seem pissed off. Dont matter if they're busy.

I would suggest waiting for the better time, maybe not the perfect time but not during the inappropriate time either. For example a chick on the way into the bathroom will probably blow you off but a chick coming out the bathroom probably is feeling good that she just applied make up and took a piss (lol) or whatever it is that girls do in there and will be more receptive to being opened. I've heard of guys hangin around picking girls off @ the bathroom and it does make sense. That, the bar and the entrance are where almost every girl in the venue will walk by at least once, so it is a good place to see what girls you want to pursue for the night or try and get some eye contact and work from there.

 

[r0cky]

Ok I have a few more from today and I will probably have more tomorrow and the day after. Want to do at least 10 approaches this weekend.
Went to a bar today:

1. Winged a 3 set for my buddy. It was pretty smooth, the girls where a HB7 and a HB6. Yeah I had to take the 6 but she was pretty easy going, and seemed interested in me. But why couldnt I escalate with a hb6? thats what I want to know too. The convo didnt have any sparks. Yea I made her laugh a couple times but I didnt feel like the convo was creating attraction and I couldn't come up with any clear routines to create attraction. Anyways I did some storytelling which I'm still working on and some other DHVs like cold reads. The set actually went for a while, about 30 mins I'd say, then I had to take a phone call and left. A buddy had to go be the wing. Anyways I feel a little down for not being able to attract a freaking hb6.

2. A 2 set which turned out to be a 4 set but was divided with the 2 hottest girls together and the 2 UGs together. Naturally I opened the HBs and prayed that they wouldnt incorporate the other set. Which luckily they didn't. I didnt have enough wings for that. an asian HB7 and a white brunette HB8. The asian girl seem to be drunk, or at least tipsy. Opened with "do you guys think i need a manicure?" works good in this case because you could get manicures at this bar... you heard me right. Then blah blah. This set was actually more fun because the asian girl was funny and witty, my target was kinda quiet, but laughed at my jokes. The asian seemsed really interested in me she gave me a bunch of IOIs but im a noob and i didnt know how to handle them/ how to escalate. The convo started to die down and I knew i was gonna crash it but the asian girl revived it by cold reading me. She could tell I was from jersey. To which I said how do you know.. and I can tell you guys are from Rhode Island, they burst out laughing. Then convo started to die down again after 5 mins. They eject.
I got a hook point, but couldnt keep them hooked. That is sumthing I should work on. Maybe if my wing had not been busy he could've helped me.

3. Ok last set. This is at a different bar. My wing who is a natural opens a set. hb7 dominican and hb7 white. His target was the dominican. In my eyes she was the ugly girl of the 2 so I was happy to have the other one. At first she wasnt too friendly but after I gave her the freeze out she started talking. My wing was doing good but I wasnt into to the girl because she wasnt that interesting. Partly my fault because I have to bring out her interest.

I have to open more sets. IDK if its luck or not but all my approaches since I started approaching have succesfully opened. So I must be doing something right.
Ok so I have the opening down or phase a1 of the mistery method. Now I have to put all my focus on phase a2 which is female to male attraction.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Keep on making approaches, man. It sounds like you're getting smoother every time.

Also, keep this in mind. By doing all this in NYC you are getting the BEST training possible. Succeeding with women in New York requires stronger game than just about anywhere in the country. Honing your skills there is like practicing your tennis game with Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal. Take the skills you develop in NYC to most other cities and you'll find scoring to be a MUCH easier task.

Keep it up!

 

[r0cky]

AAH not being in state sucks!
Last night I felt like crap from drinking too much the night before.
I was almost sleep walking when I went out. I couldn't bring my energy level up. This not a good state for approaching and I was unable to open properly. I've never tripped over my words while opening before haha.

1. A HB7.5 in b&n. She was sitting on the floor reading. I approached with "you seemed really focused there, what ya reading?" she told me. "I asked how is it?" she responds "its all right so far just read the first 3 pages..." I got this feeling like she wanted to be left alone. Yeah I was not feeling like a king after that one... or before it.

2. Approached a seated 2set of hb8 and hb7 with "do you think i would look good if i used eyeliner" My body language was ****ed up. I was leaning too much and got in their faces... I realized this and try to gain composure Then i tripped on my words... I wasnt feeling it. I eject

3. Ok this one went well I approached what seemed like a 2 set but was really a lone wolf HB7 and some stranger ordering a drink. The one ordering the drink didn't respond but the lone wolf was very friendly. She was a french girl working in the city for a few weeks. Then her guy friend came over and took the seat next to her. He was kinda friendly not very talkative tho. I intro myself to him and tried to bring him into the convo, then told her she was really nice and hoped all french girls are as nice as her meh. Then I ejected.

Nothing went according to planned just felt out of state the whole night
Today I feel energized and will try again. Matter fact I'm gonna take a jog around the park before I go sarging. Life is good.

 

[r0cky]

Right on!!
Today was excellent still have some energy left and its 4am. Gonna type this now or else I'll forget the details by tomorrow. I opened about 6 sets but there are 3 which are worth mentioning:

1. Went to a bar which I've frequented alot. I opened a set just to show my wing the right body language. Because thats one of the things im really great at. Went great used my opener, then used the Esp DHV. It didnt work at all haha one guess 6 and the other one 4. If they had picked the right number i would've probably reached a hook point. The girls seemed cool but I couldn't engage them. Felt like they wanted to go back to their group so I let them go.

2. This was an awesome approach. I was looking at a dancing 3set. They were high energy and they seemed to be in their own little world I couldnt open with an opinion opener or any verbal opener. I spotted some gay guys right next to them (which was close to the bar) dancing with high energy also. So I ordered my drink, and while waiting I opened the gay guys with "This is where the party is at!" big smile high energy. I talked to them for a bit. I did this for social proof. While still in the gay set I tapped HB8 of the girls in the 3set and gave her a high five.
She didnt let go of my hand! So I spun her around.
She says to me and her friends "I've never done this before" I smile
Then I ask her whats the ocassion, she says "no special ocassion just having fun" and we talked for a bit while dancing.
Then I called my friend to wing me. He's high energy but kinda new and couldnt maintain their attention. So they started to pull her away and I bounced.
This set was good I would like some feedback on how I could've gone further/ improve.

This one was at a techno club:
3. This was sweet, I wanted to get my wing to approach, and I noticed a 5 set with a hb6.5 giving my wing (lets call him mywing) EC. I went up to her and introd my wing so as to force him in to the set, "This is mywing" and he took it from there. He actually did great.
There was a girl in the set wearing a tiarra (sp?) she saw what I did and she was dancing in the middle of the group so I gave her a high five and spun her around. Then she started dancing with me. She was a hb6 so not a big accomplishment. They took took some pics of us. In the set I met another dude gaming one of the girls in the group. He must've been a PUA because he was peacocking like a mofo (boxers on top of his pants and goggles!) and he took one of the girl's phone#.

Other than that just high fives around the club and some small chit chat.
And with that I've accomplished 10 appraches for this weekend.
I've learned so much but the road is still a long one.

 

[r0cky]

Its been a month since I started this journal. I'm getting closer to my goal of opening and closing sets properly. However, I havent had time to do any updates. Dont get me wrong, I have been going out sarging at least 3 times a week, I have not stopped approaching. But I'm going to stop updating this journal for 2 reasons:

I tend to forget a lot of what I say, so in the eyes of whoever reads this, all my interactions probably seem the same because I dont write down a lot of details. Which I tend to forget.

And I've been opening more sets than I can talk about. So I really dont see the point in keeping this journal anymore. It helped me a lot at the beginnng. Writing down the interactions is very constructive becuase it helped me see everything from another persepective.

I want to point out 2 very powerful ways of thinking that have lately helped me open sets and do better while in an interaction with any girl. Hopefully they will help you be better in the field too:

For approaching:
You must have this fu.k it mentality. When you spot a set, tell yourself "fu.k it, I don't care what happens". This puts you in the right state and breaks that "wall" that is preventing you from approaching.

While in a set:
you must think "I know this will END UP BAD so I will escalate until they reject me". If you think about all the interactions with girls you've had in the past, what happened when you didn't get laid? NOTHING! it ended up bad, meaning nothing good happened (by good i mean getting laid by ONS or LTR). So expect the interaction to go bad.
Expect to
Get rejected, or
see them walk away after a few minutes, or
end up with a phone number which they will probably not answer, or
if they answer they will flake, or
if they don't flake they will not put out.
If they put out or become your FB or gf then you've won.

But what are the possibilities of getting laid? I'd say 1 out of 100 sets for me.
So I have this probability in my mind.
I expect the set to end bad. AND THATS AWESOME because knowing what will happen gives me the freedom to end it how I want it to (by escalating until they blow me off)!