Robyn923b: Girl is very high IL, yet...Pt.2

[Naughty Ninja]

Robyn923b:The girl is simply insecure and prefers that I take the leadership so that she doesn't have to put herself at risk of rejection.

(Ran out of post count for the day but thought this might be a good seperate thread in regards to chicks who are insecure and letting your guard down/ becoming unaware to negatives that could occur due to them even IF everything is going great. No negativity nor need to get paranoid..just a heads up awareness tip.)

The only advice added advice I’d give at this point is don’t let her insecurities possibly take leadership of YOU. Not that that’s going to happen but since she’s said/you noticed she is insecure it’s best to watch out for the negatives associated with insecurity.

It may be “cute and endearing” at first and since you obviously like this chick, feel good being the man/having your head gassed up, are getting consistent secks etc, it can be pretty easy to let your “guard” down to the insecurity factor, and let yourself slip emotionally by becoming unaware with all the good things between you to the negatives of her insecurity then wind up getting caught in possibly having to keep re-assuring her or “proving” things to her in which she could subconsciously and or consciously start using to manipulate you/flip your own words against you and have you feeling like sh1t and or you becoming the insecure one who puts her on a pedestal. (Possibly)

If you find yourself slipping and constantly needing to re-assure her that you are going to “always be there for her” or things of that nature, things could turn for the worse in her using her own insecurities as a mind game against you and the “leader” will become the lead. Be aware of that no matter how nice she is or how much you like her. If you sense that starts happening have a serious talk with her and start putting the breaks on that. Eventually insecurity would turn anyone off.

Make sure she becomes a confident chick with you for her own sake REGARDLESS if you are in her life in the future.

Again. Just a heads up. This thread may apply in the future or may not in regards to you and your chick. If nothing like that happens...then don't worry about it.

Other than that…Keep on keepin’ on you AFC, beta, feminist controlled, one-itis inflicted, pvzzy pedestalizing American simp! Hahahaha

 

[zinc4]

I just reread the OP's original post and would like to just say sorry for being so negative in the original thread.....i kind of jumped on it because of the texting thing...

Still think you should try your best to stop the texting and say you are just not a phone guy in general when she texts you.....high IL is not fullproof and nothing kills it faster than talking on the phone too often and texting too often.......but you are obviously the dominant one in the relationship right now. Reminds me of a girl i am currently seeing....she will never iniiate like your's very traditional and submissive.....but i actually hurt her IL a little early on by giving in and talking to her on the phone once a day at her request saying that she wanted to talk to me more often....so just to let you know her IL will never be fullproof if you are too available...mine is back on track now.

 

[Masculinity]

No negativity nor need to get paranoid..just a heads up awareness tip.)

Agreed

The only advice added advice I’d give at this point is don’t let her insecurities possibly take leadership of YOU. Not that that’s going to happen but since she’s said/you noticed she is insecure it’s best to watch out for the negatives associated with insecurity.

It may be “cute and endearing” at first and since you obviously like this chick, feel good being the man/having your head gassed up, are getting consistent secks etc, it can be pretty easy to let your “guard” down to the insecurity factor, and let yourself slip emotionally by becoming unaware with all the good things between you to the negatives of her insecurity then wind up getting caught in possibly having to keep re-assuring her or “proving” things to her in which she could subconsciously and or consciously start using to manipulate you/flip your own words against you and have you feeling like sh1t and or you becoming the insecure one who puts her on a pedestal. (Possibly)

I think I know what you mean by here. Are you saying I shouldn't lose the frame and let her insecurities take control my character/behavior?

If you find yourself slipping and constantly needing to re-assure her that you are going to “always be there for her” or things of that nature, things could turn for the worse in her using her own insecurities as a mind game against you and the “leader” will become the lead. Be aware of that no matter how nice she is or how much you like her. If you sense that starts happening have a serious talk with her and start putting the breaks on that. Eventually insecurity would turn anyone off.

Make sure she becomes a confident chick with you for her own sake REGARDLESS if you are in her life in the future.

Got it.

Again. Just a heads up. This thread may apply in the future or may not in regards to you and your chick. If nothing like that happens...then don't worry about it.

I want to update you all on what has been going on since I cleared up the original issue of my plate not reaching out to ask me to hangout with her ( I had to do all the work). She has called me over two times since and has left me very sweet voicemails (I know I sound like a mangina, but that is the best term to describe them).

The morale of this story is although most DJ's on here will want to pursue hit-it-and-quit-it relationships, the majority is very likely to want a steady, longer term relationship with a quality woman over the long run. I had to leave an incredible woman back in the East coast because I hated the weather there and because I wanted to attend college. My life has changed completely since. And although I will not forget my first significant other, I am glad I left and discovered all the opportunities available to me. This second girl I met is incredible (see thread titled "Girl is high IL, yet..." and I intend to keep her.

I must add, however, that during the time she did not initiate hangouts, I was spinning another plate and actually got that moving forward, too. For some reason, I attract 26-27 year olds. They practically assume I'm older and it isn't until I'm already in that I find they are in their late 20's (at which point I do not reveal my age ) and they are intrigued. I can definitely see the difference between younger and older chicks. The older ones will play fewer games and tend to be more open (at least in my experience). However, the same dating game does take place. In conclusion, I am fulfilled with this girl and I think this might be the one that will take me off the market soon (sorry girls, I may not be available soon, haha).

This is my interpretation of winning the game.

Keep being money, all.

-R

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I think I know what you mean by here. Are you saying I shouldn't lose the frame and let her insecurities take control my character/behavior?

Basically if you sense her insecurities keep creeping up sit down and have a face to face talk with her.***If she never mentions anything or doesn't come off as insecure anymore just make sure you at least have a conversation about open and honest communication so you get that out of the way and she's not hiding feeling insecure.***

Something like: Look babe. I'm happy we have a great relationship with open communication and can be honest with each other. We need to keep growing together in a positive direction. You should always feel you can talk to me and vice versa. We shouldn't ever feel insecure about one another. If things never worked out in the end between us I'd want you to be a better person for having known me not someone who feels insecure and vice versa. If we both kept feeling insecure it will destroy what we are building.

Something kindof like that. Not coming off as everytime she gets insecure you have to come to her rescue. You have to let her know that NEITHER of you should ever feel insecure about one another.

It's like say you both had a kid (or parents with a kid) If the kid cries and the parents keep having to cottle it constantly while at first the "parents" should be in control...the kid would start to equate crying with getting it's way and eventually run all over the parents if they don't put a stop to it.

This is my interpretation of winning the game.

Keep being money, all.

-R

Keep being money you AFC, Beta, pvzzy whipped, pedestalizing, One-itis inflicted, Feminist controlled, Big Simpin, American mangina! (Those terms are pretty lulzy.)

On behalf of yours truly,

The So Suave DJ discussion forums.

(Don't leave us! Misery loves company bro! Hahaha!) Good luck dude!