Road to Redemption

[Kidd]

Hello fellow sosuave'rs...

Countless words regarding being a man and living to the fullest have been spoken. Countless words about honor and valor.

I have sinned. I have stopped following those words. It has led me back where I started. Back to misery.

Last year, my grades have been crappy all year. I have put myself and my parents through alot of **** because of it. I have always tried to get by regarding school. I just do not feel desire to work. Freshman year, I got by. I managed to pass my classes, but with terrible marks. Marks I am not worthy of. I KNEW I could do better, I just never did. New year begins. I look back at all the **** I had to put up with, and promise myself never to let it happen again.

I have made a PROMISE to my mom and dad and myself, that I will do better at school this year. However, I failed to keep that promise. I was simply getting by again. Well, if anything, the most important thing I learned that if you constantly continue to deceive and get by, you will get slapped. Slapped hard. By life itself.

This I learned too well. When my mother saw my grades come in today, she freaked. She was in tears. Why? Because she TRUSTED me. She BELIEVED in me that I was a mature enough person to keep my promise to do better this year. I have not kept it. Now, I dont think my parents can trust me again. And I am to blame.

This month has probably been the most miserable one in a while. My best friend has moved away to a different state. My grandfather died. Plus this..

I do not feel sorry for myself, because I am to blame. I feel sorry for my parents, because they had to suffer because of my mistake.

I have heard someone on this site say that some things the mind has to learn on its own... It is that time for me.

This whole act has made me lose my valor. I am once again questioning my potential and my character. Yet, it in a way made me feel stronger. It helped me find my flaws. Flaws I will work my balls off to get rid of.

It is time again... time to get that fire going. Time to act. No longer will I let this dishonorable act happen. Never again.

 

[RaMar]

That was a very well written post. If you can write this well you are definately capable of the honor roll. Just put some effort into school, Work on your self discipline and put some effort into school. Do this and I guarantee your grades will get better.

 

[Sammo]

Originally posted by Kidd
It is time again... time to get that fire going. Time to act. No longer will I let this dishonorable act happen. Never again.

You've allready said that to yourself before and it failed. Obviously something else has to happen; willpower and authentic determination. Good Luck

 

[Kidd]

Re: Re: Road to Redemption

Originally posted by Sammo
willpower and authentic determination

Right on.

 

[Supero Masculus]

Dude, it is great that you realize you need some help, its awsome that you wrote about it, BUT WAKE THE **** UP!!!!! It is VERY obvious that you cannot motivate yourself. Sounds like you need outside motivation. So, you need to start a system where you are rewarded for what you do right and punished when you **** up. Cash, freedom, girlfreinds, sex or whatever as a reward and anything from physical torture to a spanking for punishment. It all depends on two things; how extreme your situation, and how badly you want RESULTS.

It has been said that pain is the best teacher. That is truth.

 

[Kidd]

Originally posted by Supero Masculus


It has been said that pain is the best teacher. That is truth.

Learned that the hard way.

Another thing that I learned:

It is always better to simply to be a man and tell the truth (which I failed to do in the past), then try to bull**** your way out of the situation, because the truth WILL be uncovered. And it wont be pretty.

This time, however, when my paretns saw my grades, I simply sat down and told them I have been disobeying them and not doing my work. I told them that it was entirely my fault and I was not living up to their expectation and my promice. I sat there and just took everything they told me, without excuse, without saying a word.

At the end, I was surprised, that my dad told me that he respected the fact that I was man enough to tell them the truth without any excuses, unlike the past.

It is always better to be a man and accept responsibility for your actions rather than try to cover them up.

 

[iMat]

You have to remember:

You're grades are not for your parents. They're for yourself. Your mother was only in tears because she couldn't bare to see you like that.

How would you feel if you saw your father come home witha pink slip because he failed at his job?

--iMat