RLE: If You Are Doing It Right....The Woman You Are With Shall Be Slighty Insecure

[TheException]

A sure to be controversial topic....but non the less....important.

When you are dating a woman "non-exclusively", its paramount to avoid catching ONEitis or becoming insecure and needy. These characteristics are unattractive to women and will doom a relationship before it even starts. Having attractive qualities will eventually lead a woman to yearn for your undying commitment......she will eventually broach the subject of dating exclusively.

It is at this point that every man must weigh whether he would like to keep this girl and forsake all others......or to keep his many plates and live with the fact that he will most likely lose this one, even though she may be high quality. What we are going to look at is the path of the exclusive relationship....

Ok....so you guys are now dating exclusively....congratulations. But....the fun of dealing with female behavior is not over....it is ever long. Even if you spend the rest of your life with this female, you will still have to deal with her emotional being and hypergamy. If youve done everything right up to this point, the relationship will be a relatively balanced one....with a slight tip in your favor. The woman recognizes you(maybe not aloud with words) as the higher value individual. She is more attracted to you than you are to her. This is a good thing and is the most beneficial environment for a relationship to blossom and flourish.....YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

However....this does not exempt her from her emotional core. If she is indeed the lower value of the two.....then she will ALWAYS have a bit of insecurity. Whether that be
-fear of losing the man
-fear of him cheating
-jealousy
-feeling inadequate at times
-etc

She will over analyze your words....and spend hours thinking about one or two words you may have said. This fear will lead to bad thoughts and her emotions will take over turning her into either a woman with hurt feelings or feelings that she "is not good enough". It is OUR job as a high value man.....to come to terms with this, and to not engage in this behavior and simply let it run its course. I will give an example below of how this manifests itself....and how to handle it.

GF: Can you make me a new workout regimen. I am bored of this one.
Exception: Yes
3 days later
Papa Exception: Hey son, I need your help with something. blah blah blah I need a workout routine
Exception: No problem, here it is.

GF: I dont like how you put off making me my workout plan but you make one asap for you dad (me and my dad are not on good terms)
Exception: I understand where you are coming from. Your situation is more complicated and I need to get it right. I will have it Monday for you.( she has a bad joint from a previous injury and weak shoulder muscles because of this)
GF: Ya but still.....its not like you didnt know I needed a new one
Exception: I didnt have time. Been busy. It will be finished monday.
GF: k

And from there on, I didnt bring it up and simply finished the plan for which she was excited to have. This is a VERY EASY situation to blow up and get mad over. She was being selfish and was feeling hurt because it seemed like I care more about my dad than her. To her.....this made her feel insecure and who knows how long she thought about this for.....but the bottom line is you as a man DO NOT DO DRAMA. You only need to confront women for very serious offense such as blatant disrespect or extremely sh1tty behavior.

The rest of the issues should be handled like above.....very stern and blunt responses, being sure of oneself, and not feeding more emotion or attention to the issue.

 

[DonGorgon]

10000% true whom love insecurity and anxiety makes them feel more excited and dramatic about you and keep them interested... they like too feel like they have to try to get you and keep you ...

always make them feel lie you could come and goo any time and they are not in control ... its easy to do until you meet one that is great and you fall in love with her then its impossible to treat her bad and eventually you will lose lol

 

[TheException]

10000% true whom love insecurity and anxiety makes them feel more excited and dramatic about you and keep them interested... they like too feel like they have to try to get you and keep you ...

always make them feel lie you could come and goo any time and they are not in control ...

I agree with this, and its not done in some malicious way to hurt the female or even something done on purpose exactly....its a side effect from having the "prize mentality".

its easy to do until you meet one that is great and you fall in love with her then its impossible to treat her bad and eventually you will lose lol

I see where your concerns are but to describe it as impossible is false. Men are certainly capable of loving a woman.....yet not grow ONEitis and let themselves be blind to negative behavior.

What does the first part of your post have to do with your nagging(again) girlfriend?

We ve previously exhausted this conversation pal...you and me see "naggy behavior" quite differently.

I agree with the first part, women should know that they are competing with other priorities in your life(particularly the potential desire on your part to get new hot women). Incredbily, you twisted this truism into a way to defend your agitating GF.

Is it twisting to describe cause and effect? I am not defending any one because her actions need not be defended. If you agree with the premise how can you not agree with the result? It would be like setting an ice cube directly in the sun, and expecting it not to melt.

If your GF was demonstrating insecurity in some positive way then it would be her cooking you a steak dinner hoping to outcompete your dad for your affections, not b1tch and moan and order you around(which you waived the white flag and submitted to). That is not her respecting you as an alpha with higher priorities. I would tell her to fvck off and make her own workout.

Insecurity does not often manifest itself as "positive" pal. Sure...it can lead to her putting out in the very beginning stages of a relationship because she is trying to win you over from other females, but to expect insecurities to manifest themselves as 100% positive experiences 100% of the time is naive. The "negative" actions that will result from insecure females need not be negative after all. You dont linger on these feelings or exacerbate the situation by trying to a "tough guy".

You simply have not experienced enough women in your intimate life to realize the main point of the post(and most of my RLE to be frank). You are stuck in a mindset that says if a woman is not 100% perfect all the time you should say things like "fvck off, go make your own workout". You make situations bad....where they dont have to be.

 

[JohnChops]

100% this.

My girlfriend is still insecure when I go out to bars and stuff. She let's me and is fine with it. But before she falls asleep she texts me "don't do anything stupid " and all I can do is laugh.

 

[3agle 3yes]

...Sure...it can lead to her putting out in the very beginning stages of a relationship because she is trying to win you over from other females...

I've never f*cked a girl with this mindset before...that's because it's stupid. How does putting out in the beginning stages of a relationship keep a man? After a few f*cks she will lose her novelty...and b*tches know this.

Also the OP is contradictory in it's message and unrealistic.

Most girls I've gone out with have been independent...that is they don't text me every minute, they can leave me alone and NOT expect me to cheat and nor do they think they're inadequate.

Personally though I have had experiences with "needy" girls and I've never had too much time for them...

They tend to moan a lot and they're not fun to be around.

Trying to keep your woman insecure so that she will stay with you makes YOU insecure, didn't you know that?

 

[goldengoose]

DO NOT DO DRAMA

Funny that you say that because insecure girls are the biggest drama queens ever. They take up all your time and project their insecurities on to you. Your girlfriend is insecure so that's why you put up with it. Betas have to make her feel insecure so they think she won't leave. You will be quite surprised when she cheats and leaves you because of her insecurities that you projected on to her.

I had an insecure girlfriend and I got out of that relationship. All the constant calling and texting checking up on me to see what I was doing. Reassuring her all the time. Too much drama and headaches with those girls. Once she went distant for two weeks and was rude to me. She had this crazy idea I was going to break up with her. She was taking it out all on me for no reason. After she found out I wasn't, she was all lovey dovey again. 5 months later I had to pull the plug.

Also the OP is contradictory in it's message and unrealistic.

Trying to keep your woman insecure so that she will stay with you makes YOU insecure, didn't you know that?

His OP's usually are. Don't argue with him because he thiinks he's always right and doesn't come here to take any advice.

The man who does that is already insecure to begin with, that's why he has to make her feel insecure, so she won't leave.

 

[TheException]

100% this.

My girlfriend is still insecure when I go out to bars and stuff. She let's me and is fine with it. But before she falls asleep she texts me "don't do anything stupid " and all I can do is laugh.

She definitely cares more. This is the correct balance for a healthy relationship. Just remember to do those cute(gay) things for her once in awhile. The relationship can easily tip toooo far in your favor which turns the woman into a psycho insecure girl with attachment issues. Keep doing what you are doing my man.

I've never f*cked a girl with this mindset before...that's because it's stupid. How does putting out in the beginning stages of a relationship keep a man? After a few f*cks she will lose her novelty...and b*tches know this.

Well.....maybe you are different. Maybe you dont like sex. Maybe you like to date girls for 2 months before having sex with her.

That is detrimental to a relationship. Relationships should be about sex,and this is why women will fvck you every time they see you in the beginning. Any women that makes you "wait" is not worth the time.

Also the OP is contradictory in it's message and unrealistic.

To say its "unrealistic" is a self limiting belief. If you cant see it.....it will never become reality for you. It is possible as ive laid it out with an example from my very own life.

Trying to keep your woman insecure so that she will stay with you makes YOU insecure, didn't you know that?

Not insecure......slightly insecure. BIG difference......and Im not "making her" that way on purpose. I am not making her insecure "so she stays with me". Its a side effect from a mindset. Its healthy for a relationship.

 

[3agle 3yes]

I'm going to go against goldengoose's advice and continue this discussion.

...Well.....maybe you are different. Maybe you dont like sex. Maybe you like to date girls for 2 months before having sex with her...

You know what's funny? I never mentioned anything about whether I f*cked girls earlier in a relationship or not...girls f*ck because they want to f*ck, I know the last thing they're thinking about is trying to keep me...

...To say its "unrealistic" is a self limiting belief...

It's unrealistic because a woman as insecure as you described isn't worth keeping around, besides a healthy relationship is an intradependent one.

...Not insecure......slightly insecure. BIG difference......

A quote from the OP, bold emphasis are mine:

...She will over analyze your words....and spend hours thinking about one or two words you may have said. This fear will lead to bad thoughts and her emotions will take over turning her into either a woman with hurt feelings or feelings that she "is not good enough"...

Doesn't look like slightly insecure to me...

...I am not making her insecure "so she stays with me"...

A woman isn't going to think you will cheat on her, fear that she will lose you or feel inadequate unless you do things that make her think otherwise.

...Unless she is real f*cked up to begin with...

 

[TheException]

You know what's funny? I never mentioned anything about whether I f*cked girls earlier in a relationship or not...girls f*ck because they want to f*ck, I know the last thing they're thinking about is trying to keep me...

A woman isn't going to think you will cheat on her, fear that she will lose you or feel inadequate unless you do things that make her think otherwise.

...Unless she is real f*cked up to begin with...

How long have you been "game aware"? I ask because you have a low post count(which doesnt mean you are ignorant by any means) and you just sound inexperienced in the ways of the DJ Bible....

The whole point of male self improvement is to become the absolute best man you can be. This involves adopting the mindset of viewing yourself as "the prize". You want to have pure confidence. Girls who are with a man like this.....want to keep him to themselves. Its part of their "hypergamous nature"(I can link you some pages that explain this if you are unfamiliar"). Women dont view sex the same way men do. Period.

It's unrealistic because a woman as insecure as you described isn't worth keeping around, besides a healthy relationship is an intradependent one.

Dont suffer the same error as goldengoose. You are mistaking "typical emotional female" behavior for "negative" behavior. Once you realize how women are....some of their actions should no longer be viewed through the "moral" lense. It is neither good nor bad.....it just is. Women are emotional creatures and each one is not resistant to it. They will all act based on their emotions at times...separating what is emotional behavior and what IS TRULY negative behavior is challenging. It gets easier with experience.

And did you mean Interdependent? Where the relationship is based upon each mutually needed the other? I would disagree. It is best as I described.....balanced, with a slight tip in the male's favor.

Doesn't look like slightly insecure to me...

Everybody is entitled to their own standards.....no matter how ridiculous. There are men here that want only virgins, men that want women to have no more than 5 sexual partners or else shes a s1ut, men that want their women to have zero guy friends, etc. It is possible to have "bad standards". Although you are entitled to have them, I would suggest overall it is detrimental to your character growth.

You cant get upset with a woman because her emotions demand she feel a certain way. We are not talking about depression, bpd, or being a s1ut here....she felt hurt....and acting accordingly. Typical, predictable female behavior.

 

[TheException]

Amazing to see the guy with his first relationship tell me I don't have experience with relationships

Why do you want to be a punk about this? This is not my first relationship pal...

And I wasnt narrowing your experience to just relationships....I meant women in general. As of a few months ago, youve slept with.....6 women. So yes, Im speaking about women in a way you have yet to experience. Not being able to understand is not something I blame you for and even hold against you.....but you dont need to stoop to the classic PHM tactic of making up sh1t.....that makes me lose respect. I can have a conversation with someone on an issue, but not when theyre acting like a jacka$$ because they dont want to be wrong.

 

[3agle 3yes]

How long have you been "game aware"? I ask because you have a low post count(which doesnt mean you are ignorant by any means) and you just sound inexperienced in the ways of the DJ Bible....

I've been "game aware" long enough...and yes, my post count is irrelevant (especially when considered that I've been on this forum longer than you). I don't tend to post much, I read and reply when I think it's necessary...

...The whole point of male self improvement is to become the absolute best man you can be. This involves adopting the mindset of viewing yourself as "the prize". You want to have pure confidence. Girls who are with a man like this.....want to keep him to themselves...

Yes, this makes sense and I know all this. But I think your examples of a woman attempting to keep a man is OTT. My experience with women is that they feel better when around me and more confident...not inadequate. They like that I'm a man not a ***** and they feel they can take on the world...if I have an exclusive relationship with a woman she knows I won't cheat...and the very fact I'm having an exclusive relationship with her suggests she is worthy.

They may have felt bad when I have ended relationships or stopped seeing them, but whilst STILL in relationship?

-fear of losing the man
-fear of him cheating
-jealousy
-feeling inadequate at times

Maybe you're using poor examples, but the ones I just quoted suggest the woman in the example is insecure in a way that suggests she can't compete against OTHER women...

Not all women are equal, so consequently a women who attempts to improve themselves and are confident will get rewarded by me...of course women like this are few and far between...

...Once you realize how women are....some of their actions should no longer be viewed through the "moral" lense. It is neither good nor bad...

But there are healthy and unhealthy emotions.

...And did you mean Interdependent?...

No, I'm meant what I meant. INTRADEPENDENT (I'm surprised you don't know this word)...there is no definition in the dictionary so I'll define it for you:

Intra-dependent

1. A place of unified thought, word, and through the action of signature/seal, collective agreement.

2. A dynamic of being mutually and physically responsible to and sharing a common set of principles with others.

In other words, two people who are not dependent on each other (independent) but are in relationship because they realise together they are better. Both completely trust each other and either could end the relationship at any moment, but neither will feel hurt by it...they realise the relationship has simply run its course.

 

[El Suave]

You are all LAME!!!! Arguing back and forth like women

The post should be interpreted as in "make the women feel a bit insecure once in a while, PUSH-PULL" Keep her attention going and her focus on you.

Fvck, that's the only thing the OP was saying, but expressed it in a different way. And, YES it is healthy and should be done in a LTR or at any other time when you feel her attention is slipping.

Period.

 

[TheException]

8...and 5 were LTRs. Im a serial monogamist.

You did say 8, my mistake.

The point remains nonetheless. Make what ever excuse you want to make up for the lack of women but its a joke to come here to try to preach to me about women when you have barely experienced them yourself. Plenty of members here could get laid 8 times by shear luck and alcohol alone....

Your wonder and amazement at the trivialities of gender dynamics in a relationship and the INCREDIBLE egotism behind the glorification of literal FLAWS in the relationship betrays your lack of experience with relationships.

Quit overthinking things....this has nothing to do with ego and everything to do with helping guys who are in relationships.

No clue how many slvts you got lucky with...not really the point is it. Its like every time you want to vent about a problem in the relationship you come here, which is fine. We all do that. But then at the last minute you wrap it up in a strange positive spin that is unnecessary.

No venting here....

Since you are a "serial monogamist"(whatever the he11 that means) Im sure you have realized by now that exclusive relationships are not just 100% happy feelings and endless sex......that part of relationships is easy. The things I post about are about the tougher things to handle. Emotions, agitation, jealousy, sh1t tests, etc.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Man this is a tough one, I usually agree with your RLEs but not so much this one.

Your premise Is correct, but I disagree with your example, which frankly, I believe is really bad.

Your chick nagged at you because you did something for your father faster than you had done for her.

Again, your father, whom created you. This isn't insecurity because she doesn't want to lose you or eve rather selfishness.

What? Does she think she's more important than your father? Even if your on bad terms?

Again agree with your message, but poor example.

No disrespect intended either man.

 

[goldengoose]

Exception,

I don't think your girlfriend is happy with anything. She is always insecure and thinking the worst of you. One day she is going to think you are cheating on her, then she will cheat on you. I had an insecure girlfriend and it was a nightmare. I got out of that relationship due to the constant drama. You should do the same.

 

[Vidrio]

I agree with SmoveMooves. Frankly, I think your girl was being an entitled b!tch in that example.

Maybe you aren't on good terms with your dad but who the hell does she think she is?

 

[Jariel]

Very good post and I agree completely.

I've had experience of this myself and you need to keep a woman on her toes, keep her feeling like she has to work for you to some degree...and that goes for early stages and in the midst of a relationship. When a woman feels totally secure, unafraid to lose you, then she has basically stopped caring.

I had a similar argument with my ex as the OP when I went to catch up with my parents instead of visiting her. She admitted she was being unreasonable, but she just felt pushed aside. She also felt insecure when I'd leave early, was unavailable to see her or take her call, and we also had an argument when I "liked" a female friend's photos on Facebook. In fact, she ended up crying over it and admitted she was jealous. At this point, my relationship was solid. She was head over heels for me and a very important point to note...we always got past these arguments and her interest remained super high.

However, things changed and I found myself constantly reassuring her, being available for her, putting her first all the time, and she basically stopped working towards our relationship. When we argued, it was for the last time because I'd lost my challenge and she'd lost interest.

The thing to remember is that (as with anything) you should never go to extremes or resort to manipulation. Rather thank make her feel insecure, you should allow her to feel insecure. Do this by putting yourself first.