Risk... from another angle

[Mr. Mystery]

We are all farmiliar with risk, we risk facing rejection when making the first move all the time. This post is about a different aspect of risk that needs to be touched on.

I see it all the time. Posters coming here asking for step by step directions on how to get the girl. That is not the way to go. This site teaches a way of thinking, not directions on how to.

The best way to learn is to risk making a mistake and learning from it.

What do you learn from posting a question and getting an answer? Nothing. You learn to depend on the board for all you future questions, which is unhealthy.

I would love to see more posters go out, fvck up then come back here and post what they think they did wrong instead of asking what they should do the day before and worrying about it so much that they really fvck up.

The focus should be on you. Don't worry to much about making her happy, or doing the right thing, just have fun, because if your not having fun, whats the point?

I see too much dependency on the advice given here, I think it would benefit everyone if we started to risk fvcking up instead of wondering what to do, what to do.

I am not the best writer, I can't put my thoughts onto paper (or keyboard) nearly as well as some others here, but I hope you all get my point.

Mr. Mystery

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"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky

The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates

"Whats your favorite position? That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you" - Tenacious D - Fvck her gentley

"I'd rather hear no, than never know" - Mr. Mystery himself!

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it - D.H. Lawrence

"Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive" - Van Wilder

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

I totally agree. Nothing can replace real world experience. As Pook said, the answers are OUT THERE.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Originally posted by Guitar_Whizz:
I totally agree. Nothing can replace real world experience. As Pook said, the answers are OUT THERE.

Of course there is nothing more important than experience. I am trying to take that point a little further.

What I'm talking about is dependency on the advice given on the board. People need to learn to think for themselves, and live a little.

As I said before, too many ask "what to do" in their post's when they should be saying "what I should have done, and will never do again".

I beleive that the poster will improve much quicker and the board will become much more interesting also.

People here have to understand that becoming a "Don Juan" isn't a tacticle thing, its a way of thinking! I know this has been said before, and I am repeating it because it is being ignored.

This brings me to patience...

To become the DJ you want to be, you gotta develop confidence and experience. Posters here are going about gaining experience in the entirely wrong way! They want to know how to before hand so they don't mess up and they end up learning nothing.

If your sent out into the woods naked, you'll have to work to find clothing, shelter, and food. You will learn how to do this and if you ever need those skills again they are there for you to use.

If your sent out with a little security blanket (advise given prior to experience) then you will cling to the blanket and be lost if it ever wore out.

Unfortunately, the security blanket (this forums advise) doesn't go away, so they are forever ill prepared and way to dependent on the warmth the blanket gives them. They will never attempt to make it on their own or to become strong, and the more dependent they become the weaker they get.

"Dependency breeds fear."

Those that come here asking for advise on "how to this" or "how to that", are afriad of their mistakes and will never be true "Don Juans".

Mr. Mystery




------------------
"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky

The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates

"Whats your favorite position? That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you" - Tenacious D - Fvck her gentley

"I'd rather hear no, than never know" - Mr. Mystery himself!

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it - D.H. Lawrence

"Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive" - Van Wilder

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery:

I see it all the time. Posters coming here asking for step by step directions on how to get the girl. That is not the way to go. This site teaches a way of thinking, not directions on how to.

The best way to learn is to risk making a mistake and learning from it.

Mr. Mystery

I think I know what Mr. Mystery is getting at. I think some of those here who ask for "step-by-step" advice are fearful about their course of action and the possible consequences. Deep down, they really WANT to succeed with this girl. Yet, they want the correct answer with minimal pain/risk.

Here is an analogy that I found in college/high school. There are students who get lazy and seek the answers straight from the teachers or their buddies without thinking and working through the homework. Yes, they may get the right answer and get perfect homework score, but they failed the "educational experience" of learning. But, if they grudge and labor through the homework, even if they Fukk up, they would learn so much more when they see what they did wrong than copying someone else's homework.

Mr. Mystery say: "Dependency breeds fear." That is so true.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Don't quote me on the "Dependency breeds fear" quote, I got that from someone else on this site, its not my quote. It just fit my arguement well so I used it (in quotes mind you).

Mr. Mystery

------------------
"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky

The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates

"Whats your favorite position? That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you" - Tenacious D - Fvck her gentley

"I'd rather hear no, than never know" - Mr. Mystery himself!

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it - D.H. Lawrence

"Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive" - Van Wilder

 

[OddTech]

You're right. It was Robert Jordan who said that. It's still true though.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Bump

Could I get a little more feedback?

Thanks.

Mr. Mystery

------------------
"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky

The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates

"Whats your favorite position? That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you" - Tenacious D - Fvck her gentley

"I'd rather hear no, than never know" - Mr. Mystery himself!

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it - D.H. Lawrence

"Don't take life too seriously or you'll never get out alive" - Van Wilder

 

[Pook]

More feedback? OK!

I think you're absolutely right, Mr. Mystery. A guy who does not risk does not live. Going through life trying to remove risk is pathetic. (Ever notice that the THEME of almost all legislation of most countries revolves around the axis of LEGISLATING RISK OUT OF EXISTANCE?)

One of my favorite scenes of Shakespeare is the casket scene from The Merchant of Venice. A beautiful wealthy maiden needs to be married. Yet, the deceased father set a 'game' in which the maiden's, Portia, portrait is in one of three caskets. Whomever chooses the correct casket gets the girl. Whomever chooses incorrectly must leave immediately and swear never to marry (harsh punishment!)

The rub is that the caskets are in different appearances with little insignias on them: a gold casket, a silver casket, and the lead casket. Princes come and choose the wrong caskets. But Bassanio, a poor risk taker, chooses the correct casket (the lead one) and gets the girl. The princes, wealthy, full of egos, lacked the element of risk.

But let us update this scene for this board's use:

The player enters.

HOT BABE:

Oh Sir Ego! Go pick your casket treasure!

The player looks at the three caskets.

PLAYER:

The first, of gold, who this inscription bears,
'Who chooseth me shall satisfy all desire;'
The second, silver, which this promise carries,
'Who chooseth me shall win the notice of all;'
This third, dull lead, with warning all as blunt,
'Who chooseth me must risk and gamble all he is.'
How shall I know if I do choose the right?

HOT BABE:

The one of them contains my picture, sir:
If you choose that, then I'm yours forever.

PLAYER:

Ordeals of sharp desire does thorn my life,
Therefore, I will unlock the golden box
To drown my thirst with you as my new wife!

Player opens up the golden casket only to pull out a skull.

O hell! what have we here?
A skull, a smiling smiling damning skull!
There is a written scroll! I'll read the writing:

'Desire knows no end fair liar,
A burn unquenched makes life a fire,
And harden'd your complexion be,
Signals your melted flesh that all can see
And speak to your dumb skull this large question:
Of where be your conquests and heat now?
In ground you go with most vainful regret:
To chase the dust is to become the dust.'

Player leaves with his head down, sulking.

HOT BABE:

Thank God. May all like him choose the same way.

The lawyer enters.

LAWYER:

Ho!

HOT BABE:

Yes Sir Pride! Go choose your casket treasure!

The Lawyer examines the caskets.

'Who chooseth me shall win the notice of all'
Oh this is me! Unlock the silver casket!

The Lawyer opens the casket to find a picture of a blinking idiot.

What is this!? Oh, let me read this old scroll:

'Ambition of notice is the clown's way
You streamlined yourself and knifed dreaming's say
For bubble reputation's earthly eye
Alas, no admiration of social dye.
For Vanity is your frosty mistress
A walking mirror you are that reflects
Anything for a person's foul envy.
Indeed, you know not what a woman is
As you see them as a cute possession
As something to set up and to display
like a painting or fine ivory box
You are ambition undone. So away!

The Lawyer walks out with his head down.

HOT BABE:

O, these deliberate fools! when they do choose,
They have the wisdom by their wit to lose.

And then enters a Pook.

Pook! It is you!

POOK:

How are you, fair maiden?

HOT BABE:

Well Pook! Well now that you are here!
Now go choose a casket and choose your life.

Pook examines the insignias on the caskets. He stops at the Gold Casket.

POOK:

Desire! It is the endless soul's burning
And no quantity can cool such a fire.

Pook stops at the Silver Casket.

Notice! Is my life to be a mirror?
To reflect women's interests and society?
These two are but a slavery of mind.

Pook stops at the Lead Casket.

To risk and not live? Or to risk the life
In the unmanly pursuit of womb like
pleasure and numbness? Oh God! Give me risk!
For the rattle of dice in the gambling hands
Is the zeal of life.

Pook unlockes the Lead Casket and there is the Hot Babe's portrait.

A scroll is inside! Let me read:

'Such fools come in two shades of earthly wear
Of first the lusting glutton who's heart tear
Does spin him in carnal embrace ever
But years will pass and he will so realize
That none made him a better person
For none of it ever made him a man.
The second fool is but the first's shadow
Who seeks to have the envy of the world
Of those who envy his job, his looks, his girl
His hollow future is but to be popped.
Now go and take freely my sweet daughter
As God gave so freely to me.'

Pook throws off the scroll and takes the girl.

This dawn of summer’s sure victory light
Blasts heaven from Earth my November night
For risk the key to unite dream and day.



What is the point of the above? I used to follow the 'other caskets'. I became the lustful glutton. Grew out of that to become a figure (was going to be a lawyer!) merely to have people's envy and 'bubble reputation'. It wasn't until I gave it ALL up, and risked it all to follow my passion in life, that I finally gained satisfaction in my life.

The greatest risk you can take in life is not to risk it all!

-----------------------------------------
POOK
-----------------------------------------

O God, your only jig-maker. What should a man do
but be merry?

from HAMLET

Why should a man, whose blood is warm within,
Sit like his grandsire cut in alabaster?
Sleep when he wakes and creep into the jaundice
By being peevish?
There are a sort of men whose visages
Do cream and mantle like a standing pond,
And do a wilful stillness entertain,
With purpose to be dress'd in an opinion
Of wisdom, gravity, profound conceit,

from MERCHANT OF VENICE

 

[Page]

Interesting post, Pook.


You need the element of risk in order to make life worth living.

 

[Starman]

Agreed Mystery,

Most of my responses on here to questions are "try it and find out" , its a 50/50 chance

and most people don't learn from advice as they do from experience..and if you do succeed based on advice on this board..

you will begin to become dependant on the messages on this board to guide you in life..as opposed to learning from your own experiences.

Should I call the girl??

Go AHEAD! see what happens!

Everybody's experiences/luck is different

Ive called girls an hour after meeting them to 2 weeks after meeting them and have mixed results..

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Thanks for the feedback!

I didn't want to bump my own stuff but I really think this is something alot of guys on here need to see. So far only some of the more experienced DJ's have chimed with their views on the subject.

But the point of this post was to beat this idea into some of these newbies, and not-so-newbies heads that were asking for the step-by-step.

Hopefully those that need to hear it are reading...

Again thanks for the feedback.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Bump...

 

[Luscious]

I fully agree with taking risks.

If you guys are anything like me, maybe you can relate with my point of view that you will never get the same chance twice. This means that if you stand there like a damn pylon, each and every car in the highway of life is gonna drive right past you (except you might get hit a couple times out of sheer luck). The only way to go someplace, to actually get a rush out of living is to put your balls on the line and break out of routines and 'common sense' that people live by. Example: You see a hot chick at a party. Common sense says not to approach and save face. Come on, guys. The risk? 'I could look bad in front of her'. Guess what? She doesn't know who in hell's name you are! She probably hasn't, and won't, see you the rest of the night! The only way to make a wave is to do it yourself, because god knows women ain't approaching!

Argh. There's my little spiel.

Plus: Doesn't it feel good to take a risk?

 

[Bungo Pony]

One of the best ways I learned from this site was to listen to advice given to others, and look back on my AFC history to see if I had the same problem. I then began figuring out what I had done wrong in the past, and have taken the steps necessary to adjust myself to never making these mistakes again.

It's definately all about risk taking. If you don't go out there, try this stuff, and fvck it up, you won't learn anything. This is the best way to improve yourself. I personally have never learned from advice from other people, until I make the same mistakes as they have. The feelings aren't real when another person is relating to them. You have to relate to them yourself if you want to improve. You cannot improve if mistakes don't exist.

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Lucious,
Yeah, you hit on another point, taking risk is fun. It gets you out of that comfort zone and get some adreneline flowing. Thats why people love amusement parks, and sky diving (which I hope to some day do).

Bungo,
I beleive you can learn without making a mistake. Experience isn't the only way to learn, but I beleive its the most permanent. Looking back to your AFC days is a good way to check yourself, but I hope you can learn from some of the other posters mistakes also, to prevent any further unnecessary mishaps. While some mishaps are great to learn from, some can really hurt you.

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery]

Bump.

I think I can squeeze a little more outta this post.

Any other opinions?

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mr. Mystery]

bump.

Mr. Mystery

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by Mr. Mystery
Bungo,
I beleive you can learn without making a mistake.

Now that I can agree with. yes, I do believe risks are worth taking, but you must be able to sort threw which risks are WORTH TAKING, and which ARE NOT. Thats what it is all about.

I think you need to pay attention to other peoples mistakes and learn from THEM, as well as your own. And remember, nothing is more precious than time. Nothing. You must calculate all risks based on how much time spent/lost that they may incure. Walking up to a strange girl in public and sparking up a convo is a good risk. At worst, its 30 seconds of lost time and a little bruising to youe ego. Now, on the flip side, moving to LA and trying to make it as a rock star might not be such a good risk. You risk losing precious months, if not years, of your youth where you could be doing something alot more constructive with your precious time. A risk thats more calculated and has a greater chance of success, like college. Just an example, Im not saying every musician should give up on their dream.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Look at me! Look at me!

Mr. Mystery

 

[BramhaBull60]

Great Post

You hit the nail on the head my friend. Risk is what life is all about, with women and in life. I moved from Buffalo NY where there are no jobs to Washington DC to work in politics and eventually business. I started here makeing 6 bucks and commision fundraising, living in a room 4 bedroom house. I now own my own place and am on track for making six figures in the next year or so. All because I rolled the dice, left my home and friends where there was no opportunity, and worked my way up. Same with women. Before this site I could not even speak to a women in a room, and used to write love letters to women I liked. It was sick. But after reading posts on this site for a couple of years, striking out a lot( I still do and can get better) I average one or two dates a month. This board is helpful, but its my own inner strength and confidence that is helping me just as much. That and the abilit to learn:

Learn from my mistakes
Learn from the mistakes of others
Learn from the success of others
Learn from my own success.

Great post though. I think the reason that its not getting a ton of hits is because some people don't like to think that this is this awnser, the inheriantly want to use the board to reinforce their own bad habits instead of listening to posts like your and learning to break them and keep slugging away.