"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Ripping hoes?

Bossman90

Don Juan
Joined
May 13, 2012
Messages
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Basically I know a girl who is dating a guy who lives out of town. What are the weaknesses to those relationships?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Down Low

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 21, 2012
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Location
Maryland
The primary weakness is that you stick it in, and find his goo oozing out all over your d1ck. Oops! She lied about how recently he visited.
 

PapiChulo

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 30, 2010
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Location
Canada, eh?
Stick it in her butt instead... Problem solved.
 

BMX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2004
Messages
1,477
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408
Location
Everett
You get to hear about her boyfriend all the time whether you want to or not and even if you are banging her. Pass.
 
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