"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Ripped up the number...

vatoloco

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Last week there was some kind of special training here at work where there were teachers from all over the city. An HB7 teacher walks past my office on her way to the restroom (my office is positioned in such a way that I get to see everyone who is going to the restroom for a brief second as they go past my door) and she gives me "the eyes." I think to myself: "Alright sweetheart, it's on!"

She comes out of the restroom a few minutes later and looks back at me (again, with "the eyes") but since I was on a phone call, I could not talk to her immediately. I finish my call and head over to where the training was being held and stand by the door. I see her. She sees me as well but looks away flustered.

I wait a few seconds and she looks at me again with a smile and I know I need to do something. Now, since I didn't want to disturb the training, I give her a "come here" sign but she freaks out and goes back to her screen. "Oh well!" I think to myself and go back to my office and my business.

Later that day, the same HB7 comes back to my office and asks me if I was calling her earlier. "Yes. Were you worried? Don't tell me! You were thinking 'OMG! Am I in trouble?'" I kid with her giving her a huge grin. She's not receptive. Red flag #1.

I ask her for her name. She gives it to me but doesn't ask for mine. Red flag #2. I tell her "Hey HB7, do you have a minute? Let's talk outside..." (I like taking girls I meet at work -- please note, NOT COWORKERS -- outside for a quick walk to see if there is rapport.) She declines saying she's busy. Red flag #3.

So at that point I knew I was out but I wanted to test her to see what kind of girl she was (you know, if she had the integrity to deny her number to a guy she's not interested in). I tell her "Hey listen HB7, give me your number so we can talk." She gives me a look as if saying "You DID NOT just ask me for my number! How dare you!?" Red flag #4.

I hand her a piece of paper and a pen and she writes down her name and begins to give it to me when she realizes that she hasn't included the number! Ha! Her subconscious was keeping her from giving the number! Red flag #5. She writes it down and gives me back the paper. I take it and tell her "Nice to meet you HB7" and she goes on her way. Once she's out of sight, I rip the paper up and toss it in a nearby trash can.

I know a lot of this might be obvious to some of you so this is most for the younger, less-experienced DJs:

- Women will flirt with you (even if they don't dig you) to get their kicks. It's up to you to step up, approach/close and put them on the spot.
- If a woman doesn't ask for your name, she doesn't dig.
- If a woman hesitates or asks you why you want her number, you're out. Don't even bother. You'll be swimming against the current. Game other girls. You know, the ones who DO dig. ;)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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r0cky

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If a woman doesnt ask you for your name she doesnt dig you?
No buddy, thats completely wrong. A woman may not like you right away, but this is based on nothing else other than your looks and initial approach. But if you display a great personality and confidence after introducing yourself, she will change her mind.
This is called plowing. Giving up just because she doesnt repond well in the first few seconds of the interaction is just something an AFC will do.
 

vatoloco

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r0cky said:
If a woman doesnt ask you for your name she doesnt dig you?
No buddy, thats completely wrong. A woman may not like you right away, but this is based on nothing else other than your looks and initial approach. But if you display a great personality and confidence after introducing yourself, she will change her mind.
Which is why I don't bother. I'm not going to invest time, money and effort on a woman who doesn't dig right away.


This is called plowing. Giving up just because she doesnt repond well in the first few seconds of the interaction is just something an AFC will do.
A smart man chooses his battles wisely. I choose to battle the ones that I'm most likely to win... :D
 

terran2k

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so she was in a training class, and you tried to call her out of it so you can ask her out?
I personally think you went about it all wrong.
All she'd have to do now is go to your supervisor and say you were harrassing her, pressured her to give you her #. Don't screw around at work like that.
Think with your brain, not your ****.
Don't make threads to cover up your failure like it was her fault. Its a weak thing to do.
 

Iceberg

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r0cky said:
If a woman doesnt ask you for your name she doesnt dig you?
No buddy, thats completely wrong.
I see where you're coming from, but I think vato has a point. It's not that she didn't ask for his name...it's that she didn't ask for his name in context with all the other red flags.

A woman may not like you right away, but this is based on nothing else other than your looks and initial approach. But if you display a great personality and confidence after introducing yourself, she will change her mind.
This is called plowing. Giving up just because she doesnt repond well in the first few seconds of the interaction is just something an AFC will do.
Not loving me enough to date me right away is fine. I've won a few girls over based on persistence and knowing that these girls just needed to be pushed a little.

But then you take a girl like vato's....she's just unfriendly. It's one thing to win over a girl who's not sure she wants you. It's another thing to shoot for a girl who barely even wants to talk.

But that's just my take on this situation.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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vatoloco

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terran2k said:
so she was in a training class, and you tried to call her out of it so you can ask her out?
I personally think you went about it all wrong.
They were on break (that's why she was going to the restroom.) By the time I was done with my call, she'd gone back to her workstation and, while the instructor was there, training hadn't resumed. That's when I called her out (with the intention of taking her outside and talk to her).


All she'd have to do now is go to your supervisor and say you were harrassing her, pressured her to give you her #. Don't screw around at work like that.
This I will accept. You're right. I made a mistake here. It's the first time that I woman that had flirted with me at work didn't dig (which is why I made the thread -- sometimes women will flirt with you when they're not interested). I should have stopped at Red Flag #2.

However, usually when I know I'm out, I like to practice and take it as far as I can just to mess with girls who flirt with me and don't like me. I forgot that I could get in trouble and just went with my usual routine. Lesson learned.


Think with your brain, not your ****.
Don't make threads to cover up your failure like it was her fault. Its a weak thing to do.
Although I partially messed up, it was indeed her fault. She flirts with me and expects me not to act upon it!? Sorry but, 1) if a woman flirts with me, 2) I like her back and 3) I'm available, I go for the jugular.

That's just how I do things. ;)
 

omega05

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How did she flirt with you? Cuz she looked at you with "those eyes"? You messed up
 

scorpio1138

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Doesn't really sound like any kind of "red flag"

she just seems uninterested.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SeymourCake

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vatoloco said:
- If a woman hesitates or asks you why you want her number, you're out. Don't even bother. You'll be swimming against the current. Game other girls. You know, the ones who DO dig. ;)

This happened to me today. She asked me why did I need her number, but she gave it to me regardless but she let me knew in advance it we could only be "friends" because she had a boyfriend.

I got her number regardless, but I don't think I'm gonna invest time in her. She's in my class, so...I see her everyday.
 
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