"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Riding drunk?
- Thread starter Bourne
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Derek Flint
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2002
- Messages
- 1,731
- Reaction score
- 40
They can haul you in for being Drunk in Public.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
Only if you REALLY piss the cop off or he's in a bad mood.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Bloke
Senior Don Juan
I'd arrest you for being a dumbarse
penkitten
Master Don Juan
unless he says " son get out of the car" and you say " officer are you commanding me to get out of the car"
then he will get really mad and try to arrest you for being publicly intoxicated. and you will have to say " but the officer commanded me to get out of the car, so i did because he forced me to. i didnt want to be publicly intoxicated. i wanted to be drunk in a bar, and then drunk at home. "
it never really goes over too well because they see you as a punk, however how can he arrest you if he commanded you to get out of the car?
I was in Mexico with some friends. We came in two cars, and the driver of the second car left without telling anybody, leaving us with my 5 seater car and 7 passengers. Obviously I'm not leaving my friends in Mexico, and we pile into my car. We had a designated driver, and off the cheap tequila I managed to get so drunk that I don't even really know what's going on, nor do I care much at the time.
Apparently our sober driver was a complete idiot who claimed she didn't know how to get back to the highway, and made my friend drive "just to the highway". He hadn't had much to drink, so nobody thought it'd be a problem.
We didn't get 10 feet out of the parking lot before a cop noticed a car with 7 people leaving from the parking lot where all the college kids park to walk across the bridge and get hammered where the drinking age is 18 and of course he pulls us over. With 6 drunk people in the car, it smells like a brewery, and the cop goes right into a sobriety test for my friend who is driving.
My friend passed, but they still gave him a DUI because he was under 21. He made us all get out of the car, and asked if anybody is sober, informing us that my car will be towed if nobody capable of driving comes forward. Our dumbass sober driver freaks out and tells the cop that she had a sip of beer (which is true... she had A SIP... I don't know why she said anything) and the cop refuses to allow her to drive because she is under 21 and he doesn't believe her that she only had a sip.
So the seven of us are outside on the streets of el paso, a few of us so drunk we can't walk, and I'm arguing with the cop trying to convince him not to tow my car. He gives me 30 minutes to find a sober driver, and I'm calling everyone I know at three o'clock on a Thursday night begging them to drive the 30 minutes down to pick us up so I don't get my car impounded...
And the whole time the cop never said anything about the fact that we were all under 21 and there being a law in Texas against being a minor and drunk called "Minor in consumption", forget about drunk in public. After all was said and done, we found a ride but not somebody to drive my car and they just gave it a $10 parking ticket.
Here's a picture I took of my roommate while waiting for the cops to decide what they were going to do with us
http://img361.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dscf00654pa.jpg
I was so drunk that night, I only found my car the next day because I can read the street sign in the background of that picture
Oh, and they pulled over another car for yelling out the window at us as they drove by
All you have to do is be cool to the cops, really
But I still maintain it's stupid to ride with a drunk driver
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.