"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ridding yourself of approval seeking

Reykhel

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You could almost say that approval seeking has become a disease in society...

My main "girl/plate" (give it a name...) is British and her manners are impeccable......but of course she
has the habit of finishing my sentences with "....please?" like my mother telling me that I should have some manners...

(I don't give it that much importance and in fact find it slightly amusing....it reminds me of the scene in PulP Fiction "if I'm cort it's because time is of the essences....so pretty please with a cherry on top"

But of course it begs the question......what are manners? of course they are different from country to country and from culture to culture, but it all boils down to social conditioning starting with our parents from when we were kids........."always respect your elders" (even if they are braindead) "say please and thank you" before getting what you want...

Now, while etiquette and a good upbringing are not to be frowned at.....

so often with many there was a hidden message...

"DO AS I TELL YOU OR ELSE I WILL WITHHOLD MY APPROVAL"

Fsck we don't want to be cast away and feel unloved......we'll do it....

How many are still carrying these childhood scripts today in their relationships with women...

Baying for conditional improving......

The irony is that when you seek someone's approval it's rare that you get it, but yet when you stay free and aloof, you receive their respect ....

Approval seeking is a poison that you can see seeping through many a thread here, like a poisoned serpent.......

......learn to let it go, learn to be free
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Big dog

Don Juan
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Seeking approval is because you have low self-esteem /confidence, and you care too ****en much about what the **** other people think about you. What the hell are you talking about brother
 

Reykhel

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Seeking approval is because you have low self-esteem /confidence, and you care too ****en much about what the **** other people think about you. What the hell are you talking about brother
I'm talking about a common feature on this site.....kids that are approval seeking...

And please dummy, think before you type, this is not me struggling with this you buffoon....

It comes from social conditioning
 
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