"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Revised 'Reading List'

Throttle

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hey guys -- quik noted that my reading list disappeared. we're not sure what happened to it, but here's a revised list:

Michael Pollan, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, 2008.

Why only one book? It summarizes much of what was in the many other books I'd previously listed (Taubes, Nestle, Enig and Pollan himself) in a mere 200 pages (the others are all very thick tomes). Most of you value your time, and if something in this volume doesn't convince you, you can always follow the notes and/or bibliography to look for more evidence.

The advice can be summarized as: eat food, not too much, mostly plants. Obviously some of you who eat raw eggs by the dozen will jump on this as evidence that he's clueless, but you'll have to read it for yourself.

For one thing, by 'eat food' he means avoid anything that comes pre-packaged, pre-processed, and especially if the packaging makes 'health' claims.

For another thing, he's giving recommendations to people who mostly don't lift any weights, let alone big ones. So you'd have to scale up his recommendation: eat food, enough to grow, mostly plants. By mostly plants, he means at least half the food on your plate (by volume) at each sitting should be some combination of fruits/veggies. That's not really that hard, but you have to man up and start eating salads & green beans and such.

It's not so different from the advice most of us are giving out here [cook your own whole foods, avoid anything that hasn't been eaten for hundreds of years, balance your fats, eat your veggies, and supplement as a last and not first resort], and it succinctly makes the case.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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wolf116

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Good advice for the average person, but it is very hard to eat mostly veggies to grow big. If not impossible.
 

spesmilitis

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Half by volume or weight? I finish each meal with veggies, serving size approx. same volume as the meal. I find that this makes me hungry faster for my next meal, ends up that I eat more macros overall. But, half by weight, that would seem to displace some serious macros outta my diet.
 

wolf116

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I'm now am the proud owner or a fully functioning veggie garden.
So I'm forced to eat loads of free veggies before they go off.
 

simon

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wolf116 said:
I'm now am the proud owner or a fully functioning veggie garden.
So I'm forced to eat loads of free veggies before they go off.
Nice! What are you growing?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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wolf116

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I didn't even buy many seeds, I just chuck all my food scraps in a big square I dug out and wait for the seeds to sprout. Sweet potato can grow just from a small off cut.

Heaps of sweet potato and pumpkin (they grow like mad), tomato, cherry tomato, capsicum, cucumber, beetroot, shallot, beans.

When the season is right I will put in broccoli and spinach.

I am very tempted to get layer hens.
 

Quagmire911

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wolf116 said:
I am very tempted to get layer hens.
:D

You recommend this over Taubes ehhh, may have to get it when I have a bit of spare cash.
 

wolf116

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Quagmire911 said:
:D

You recommend this over Taubes ehhh, may have to get it when I have a bit of spare cash.
What's Taubes??? Get what.. chickens???
Sorry I'm just not following you, must be my bedtime.
 

Throttle

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lol...i definitely recommend this as a library book, or even an in-bookstore read. it's that short & to the point. you can always get your own copy later.

taubes is thorough but repeats himself over and over. and he ultimately doesn't give any advice (except avoiding insulin spikes) b/c as he says the science isn't there.

lots of people have come down on Taubes, including, surprisingly to me, Anthony Colpo, because he fingers insulin spikes as the only cause of obesity with any science behind it. i think they see him as jumping to conclusions, when they haven't really read his book thoroughly.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Throttle

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spesmilitis said:
Half by volume or weight? I finish each meal with veggies, serving size approx. same volume as the meal. I find that this makes me hungry faster for my next meal, ends up that I eat more macros overall. But, half by weight, that would seem to displace some serious macros outta my diet.
definitely by volume. meat & eggs are so calorie & protein dense that I don't think this is that hard, it's certainly how i've been eating.

(eggs for breakfast paired with equal volume oatmeal; meats at other meals paired with equal or greater volume veggies -- greater if i spring for a salad, too)
 

wolf116

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Throttle said:
definitely by volume. meat & eggs are so calorie & protein dense that I don't think this is that hard, it's certainly how i've been eating.

(eggs for breakfast paired with equal volume oatmeal; meats at other meals paired with equal or greater volume veggies -- greater if i spring for a salad, too)
Oh ok, I have been eating like that for around a year minus the oatmeal(allergic).

I don't know why you were dissing us egg guys though. I add raw broccoli and apple or bananas and blue berries to the shakes.
 

Throttle

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oh i wasn't dissing egg guys... i just figured you guys would react like i'm nuts. but i really am dissing the 'weight gainer' guys who believe that calories come best in the form of a tub.
 
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