"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Reverted to afc ways

Ian1983

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right, lets set it straight now, I was well and truely a afc before the summer. Over the course of the summer, I changed my ways and became quite good with the ladies (ok, to be fair, I didn't get any dates, but i approached, got lots of interest and felt pretty good).
I started working for a guy, and he brought in a girl a bit younger then me who is pretty damn attractive.
Now, initally, lots of flirting etc, but was in 2 minds about going after it (working with her, on/off bf etc.-I took that like a afc, yes ladies and gents, I sulked)
After that, she went onto the back burner for a few months, just friends.
Now i'm not a big talker anyway, so when I gave her lifts to and from work and other sites (being friendly and part of the job I guess), it was usually silence interspersed with her on the phone).
About 4 weeks ago the oneitus reared its ugly head, I started to become unrational and the majority of flirting from me stopped (with a little still coming from her).
So....I ended up coming down with the bloody flu, so for a week I sat at home and stewed in my juices and decided to make a move when i got back to work (monday just gone)

Basically.....I broke my own rules and............well.............yeah, ok, I asked if I could kiss her basically, then sent her a txt saying i found her attractive.
We all know how that turned out, badly ('i'm going out with blah blah now, i'm your friend+ work colleuge', i just sent a you snooze u lose txt, cu later mate reply)

Anyway, my question-from monday, how should I act around said person
i know it seems purile, but should i just act as normal, or give her more/less attention (unfortunately, when i like someone, i tend to start ignoring them and distancing myself from them, a sort of self destructive route, hence she thought i hated her......:eek: ).
In my mind....I don't really care, I made a rookie mistake, **** happens, but i work with the person, so I'm not sure if I should just try and relieve the tension now before it builds up and gets silly (the end of this week was......a bit tense, she was flirting with a few guys she knows i don't like ....A LOT, flirting and dislike)

I think I have issues with commitment so sabortage myself from the get go :confused: (since i've never had a freaking gf and everything that includes)

the plus side-I have a funny story about myself now lol.
You wouldn't think I'm almost bloody 22 for making such a thread would you :rolleyes:
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Ian1983

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i should add that when not attracted to people/normal flirting, I'm quite good at getting a high interest level established....its just.....getting further (ie I've never actually....been on a date, so its new ground to me) that i begin to fumble and make the rookie errors on
 

Anaxibios

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When you're achieving a high interest level, try number closing and walk away; it'll add some mystery, plus you can set up a date... I imagine if you go on a few dates you'll quickly learn what not to do and become more comfortable in long-term conversations etc w women.
 

Ian1983

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thanks for the tips


side note; 1st time i met this particular girl, I got her number off her
 
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