Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

Return of the Ex-Gf

English_Bloke

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2004
Messages
104
Reaction score
0
I'll admit I made a huge mistake way back in febuary with one of my old girlfriends. I broke the no.1 rule and left my heart wide open and got used for at least the last few weeks of the relationship - the breakup sucked, one of the few but worst I ever had. But I learned from that.

About 10 days ago my ex-gf mailed me and said we needed to talk...classic line :p So we talked on AIM and it came down to her swamping the message box with sentimental stuff of how she was so sorry, reasons why we broke up, how I was still her first true love....I swear she was getting this out of a movie script or something. Anyway she wants to meet up now........3 things come into mind;

1) Being used again, she probably broke up w/ someone...
2) Can I get anything out of this situation by playing by the DJ rules - afterall she is a highschool version of pamela anderson.
3) Use her as just another person to practise techniques on.

Any advice would be useful. Thanks.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

check_mate_kid_uk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 27, 2004
Messages
2,077
Reaction score
4
Location
UK
you have given me no background information, i can not tell if she is using you form this information, many people say do not get back with youe ex girl freind, the pool has already been pissed in so to speak. These same people will also say on a genral basis what have you got lose, well if you like her and you do not think she is using you, then why not get back together. If you think she is using you then next her, if you need help deciding on weather you are being used, you will need to post more information because i cna not tel from what you have said.

hope iv been a help
 

Caveman

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 22, 2001
Messages
694
Reaction score
2
Location
NL
Tell her to think about why she broke up and what she thinks has changed and why she thinks it will work this time. Then you might give your own opinion and even though she really has to prove herself to you, you might give her one last chance.

Then make her beg.. YOU are the prize :D

Btw.. be careful if you do decide to get back with her. Try not to get too attached and be ready to walk away if she gives you any sh!t.
 

Disconnect

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2004
Messages
524
Reaction score
0
Age
38
She used you before. She will do it again. BUT ONLY IF you let her. Did you ask her about the sudden surge of warm feelings? Why did she want you back all of a sudden? She might have broken up with someone else, and needs an emotional tampon to get through it. Don't let her use you like that. Go ahead, meet with her, just keep a cool head and observe the situation without recklessly diving in. I think it would be fun.
 

English_Bloke

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 18, 2004
Messages
104
Reaction score
0
Thanks for the advice

@check_mate_kid_uk - I decided not to go too heavy on the info, it gets complicated. For background stuff she is, well was a great person but behind her looks she is a pretty confused babe. When I was with her, she seemed to have everything against her - nearly expelled from school, a saucy pic of her got sent round all the schools in the area...public humiliation stuff. Some 'too good to be true guy' came along and I got sidelined to put it simply. I've never gone through all that before but I can guess it must be pretty intense on emotions...confused love?...I never stayed around long enough to find that one out.

Anyway im going to go ahead and meet up with her, but playing by my rules this time. I've gone through the DJ Bible a load of times since febuary and saw where I went wrong. It will be fun to see how she reacts when she is confronted by me now that I have a load more confidence and being in control....with some tricky questions as Caveman and Disconnect put forward.

Talking to her more in person, will definitly give me more of a feel if shes using me or is really sorry....cant beat the eyecontact and bodylanguage.

Thanks for the advice everyone.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

PiHiPlaya

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 8, 2003
Messages
661
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Ann Arbor, Mi
Noblemuscle, the Rules are gone over many times in the DJ Bible.

Anyway, English_Bloke. Take a different mindset on this, you're setting yourself to get shat on again by thinking she's the HS version of Pamela Anderson. Go into this with a level head, she's just a girl man, not anything special.
 
Top