"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Responding to apologies

Lexington

Master Don Juan
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So, there's a girl I'm working on who was a bit of a biatch the other day. I guess she was in a bad mood when I called her and she was being very stand-offish. I didn't take the abuse (I probably would have it was even just a few months ago). I just said, "Okay.....bye" and I immediately hung up the phone.

Well anyway, a day later she's messaged me and told me that she's apologizing for being a biotch....yes she used that exact word. Basically she said she was in a bad mood. The apology seemed genuine.

Is there a standard rule for responding to apologies? I'm very much a softy when it comes to apologies. I can get mad at people, but I am very quick to bury the hatchet the moment a person makes an attempt to reconcile.

They say that being quick to forgive is a good virtue. Sometimes I wonder however if I'm being taken advantage of because of my forgiving nature. I do get very easily disarmed....even when I'm extremely angry.

How do you normally play apologies? Should I perhaps wait a while to leave her in suspense? Or should I immediately accept? Perhaps if I wait a while, it will increase my position of power and make sure she won't act up again in the future?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Sir_Turtle

Don Juan
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Don't let it overly affect you in the same way you don't let her overly affect you when she pisses you off. you should be able to forgive without them asking for your forgiveness.

also remember that forgiveness does not mean you have to allow them a chance to screw you over again.
 

WaterTiger

Master Don Juan
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Wine Country, Ca
Your response, in a ****y/funny way:

"So, how ya gonna make it up to me?"
 
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